2011.10.07 06:00 - Regarding Reality

This is the first of what will be a series of 6AM "Regarding Reality" sessions, and a lovely meeting indeed...

Maxine Walden: hi, Pema
Pema Pera: hi Maxine!
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Maxine :) Hi Pema :) Good Morning!
Maxine Walden: hi, Eliza
Maxine Walden: yes, autumn morning here, rain
Eliza Madrigal: It feels close to autumn here too, today... and for the last few
Maxine Walden: :)
Pema Pera: beautiful sunshine here :)
Maxine Walden: (envy) :)
Pema Pera: the fall is the best of the three seasons in New Jersey
Eliza Madrigal: :))
Maxine Walden: beautiful fall colors?
Pema Pera: summer too hot and humid, winter too cold, spring nonexistent often
Maxine Walden: ah...
Pema Pera: (passing from cold to hot in a day!)
Pema Pera: not yet fall colors; late October
Maxine Walden: feeling re-equilibrated back to NY area, Pema?
Maxine Walden: from Japan?
Pema Pera: oh sure, that takes a few days
Pema Pera: and then my previous chapter in life seems faaar away
Pema Pera: amazing how quick we adapt
Eliza Madrigal: Here very breezy and feathery clouds... people in Miami are kind of shocked when that happens
Eliza Madrigal: along with coolness

Eliza Madrigal: I wondered whether to send a reminder notice this morning, since it usually takes a few weeks for people to get into a new rhythm
Pema Pera: don't you have that feeling too, when you're visiting another country, that after three days it feels you've lived there your whole life?
Maxine Walden: :)), yes know how that goes
Pema Pera: yes, people need reminders, I think
Maxine Walden: adaptation is rather marvelous sometimes
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Pema Pera: same thing happened with Bob Magrisso -- nobody came for his second round, and then many people felt sorry to miss it
Maxine Walden: yes, just sent one at 6am...just before the session
Pema Pera: really? I don't think I got it
Maxine Walden: guess the reminder several days ago does not 'stick'
Eliza Madrigal: Nor I
Maxine Walden: ah, maybe it sent awry
Maxine Walden: oh, yes, I see that it did!!
Pema Pera: :)
Maxine Walden: shall I send another now? on the cusp of too late for this time?
Eliza Madrigal: Sure, why not
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Pema Pera: with best regards from reality
Eliza Madrigal wonders whether she adapts as easily as others, to being in different places. Often where I am still feels unfamiliar...
Eliza Madrigal: Bruce is having internet trouble, btw
Eliza Madrigal: so I think he is trying to be here but hm...
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Pema Pera: perhaps Eliza is adapting every day anew !
Pema Pera: beginner's mind
Maxine Walden: Yes, wondering about that too for Eliza :)
Eliza Madrigal: :) maybe, or at least that's one way to see perpetual lostness, hah
Maxine Walden: creative lostness? or maybe at times it feels otherwise...
Pema Pera: free from referentiality
Eliza Madrigal: ah, nice :) yes I think so
Pema Pera: no reference no deference
Eliza Madrigal sees new t-shirt
Pema Pera: :-)
Maxine Walden: :))

Eliza Madrigal: Hi Adams :)
Pema Pera: hi Adams!
Maxine Walden: hi, Adams
Pema Pera: or, hi Kira!

--BELL--

Maxine Walden: ah, Adams Kira :)
Adams Kira: Hi Sorry to be late. Wanted to be here for the inagural
Adams Kira: The other Adams are too busy (chuckles)
Eliza Madrigal: hehe
Pema Pera: hehehe
Pema Pera: Kiranians have more leisure
Maxine Walden: :))
Maxine Walden: Kiraians, citizens of a leisurely country...
Maxine Walden: Kiranians
Eliza Madrigal: wandering around without reference points
Pema Pera: hopefully having no conflicts with neighboring countries . . .
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Adams Kira: :)
Adams Kira: or avatars
Pema Pera: while cross border wandering . . .
Maxine Walden: other countries may be suspect of our creative lostness
Eliza Madrigal: indeed

Maxine Walden: hmm, maybe we can meander to consider the book? Might have a small group today
Eliza Madrigal: yes, please :))
Pema Pera: yes
Adams Kira: :)
Maxine Walden: Wondered if it would be interesting to just mention how I came to consider writing this book
Eliza Madrigal: very much so Maxine
Pema Pera: indeed!
Adams Kira listens

Maxine Walden: It has seemed to me over the years that we all yearn for a sense of harmony, peacefulness with ourselves, a kind of whole-mindedness
Maxine Walden: And that what troubles us often are those nagging elements, fears, fantasies which pull us away from that sense of peace and wholeness
Maxine Walden: And that those nags can be so gripping as to cloud the lens we use in assessing reality at the moment inner and ourter reality
Maxine Walden: so it felt meaningful to try to think about this and maybe write about it
Maxine Walden: from the perspective that we all strive for harmony and what interferes with that
Maxine Walden: One recurring element for me is the template of the young child who is overwhelmed by emotion he/she cannot process, cannot bear
Maxine Walden: Something we all probably have experienced
Maxine Walden: That overwhelm can be temporary or more traumatic
Maxine Walden: In that the overwhelm does shatter the sense of calm, peace, safety
Maxine Walden: at least for awhile
Maxine Walden: And hopefully the mothering persons, those who can soothe and comfort and 'knit the ravelled sleeve' of distress
Maxine Walden: hopefully those gathering togethers
Maxine Walden: help the overwhelmed self gain that sense of warm, patient, comforing integration
Maxine Walden: But, it seems to me, more often than we may care to know about
Maxine Walden: that we may become accustomed to that shattered, distressed, no-space place
Maxine Walden: We might indentify with an impatient parent,
Maxine Walden: or come to feel 'we have to do it for ourselves' (become strident and independent which may interfere with the lyricism of repose)

--BELL--

Maxine Walden: And perhaps most impressive is how we can slip into allowing the space and patience we need for harmony, how we can let that slip away, or contribute to its collapse
Maxine Walden: So, inadvertently we crush what we need for our inner happiness, out of ambition, envy, idealization....a number of things
Maxine Walden: So that is a bit of background....(pause for questions?)

Eliza Madrigal swoons with Maxine's language... 'lyricism of repose...' :)
Eliza Madrigal: And I love your use of the word harmony, Maxine, as it suggests being in accord... a natural step, and the image of knitting as integration providing warmth
Maxine Walden: aww...
Pema Pera: it is so interesting: when our body gets hungry, we know how to open our mouth and eat; but when our mind gets hungry, we tend to withdraw and turn away from what is nourishing -- could that be a one-line summary of your main question, very crudely?
Adams Kira thinks of the difficulty of living the contemplative life in the busy world
Maxine Walden: certainly one way to think about it, Pema. We turn away from what we may need, feeling perhaps small if we recognize what we need, as if it is 'better' to do it ourselves
Maxine Walden: yes, Adams, truly agree. As if such would be out of step?
Maxine Walden: Indeed, one of the major impediments to growth, (Pema's point perhaps) is the feeling of humiliation to be open to take someone's food for thought, to respect and be grateful for it
Maxine Walden: humility felt as humiliation...
Eliza Madrigal: and fear of space
Pema Pera: another parallel would be that if we blindly follow the body's first impulses, we may eat junk food, but when we listen more carefully to what the body really likes and needs, we can learn to eat more wholesomely -- same with the mind
Maxine Walden: yes, as if space is a place to get lost in rather than to offer repose
Maxine Walden: so agree, Pema
Eliza Madrigal nods
Pema Pera: so developing a natural taste is one approach
Pema Pera: recognizing and remembering
Maxine Walden: Impulse is blind and often bypasses the space which offers more wisdom
Adams Kira: lots of temptations in the food stores
Maxine Walden: :))
Pema Pera envisions another Seattle retreat with the theme: "recognize and remember to regard reality"
Pema Pera: a re-retreat
Maxine Walden: yes, and curiously there seems to be an ongoing urge to be impulsive, as if something constantly wishes us to collapse the space and 'go' with the excitement and false promises of impulse
Adams Kira first read that as regret reality
Eliza Madrigal: yes!
Maxine Walden: Interesting thought, Pema!
Eliza Madrigal: (re collapse)

Pema Pera: impulse like animals -- antidote: contemplation like plants (trees)?
Maxine Walden: interesting!!! contemplative plants...
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Adams Kira: firmly rooted
Maxine Walden: yes, there does seem to be a force in nature (My current wondering) which presses against thought, space, repose...
Eliza Madrigal: ah yes a wonderful image... rather than being entangled in branches, reposed at the root, in accord
Maxine Walden: as if these relatively recent attainments of reflective thought and care trigger a regressive force back to the impulsive, non-thinking ways
Maxine Walden: Actually like this other strand of thought, the rooted....maybe stay with that for a bit

Adams Kira: yakshis and yakshas
Maxine Walden: say more, Adams?
Maxine Walden: unfamiliar with those terms
Adams Kira: tree spirits
Maxine Walden: ah!!
Pema Pera: the diving as shy but a light sleeper -- only responds when you ask, but can be easily woken up (free interpretation of John O'Donohue)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Adams Kira: Indian
Eliza Madrigal: divine, Pema?
Pema Pera: oops, yes, divine
Adams Kira: :)
Pema Pera: diving into the divine :-)
Maxine Walden: :) maybe diving is a creative typo
Pema Pera: in response to Maxine's force of grativty
Maxine Walden: into the roots
Maxine Walden: yes!
Eliza Madrigal: .. had image of pearl diving then... so many overlapping inspirations
Pema Pera: and the "divine" as counter part
Maxine Walden: wonderful, Eliza
Maxine Walden: yes, Pema!! wonderful image of the various tensions
Pema Pera: pearls, trees, children, lovely images!

--BELL--

Maxine Walden: there does seem to be this pull toward the concrete...where metaphor and lyrical meaning flatten, lose vitality...become de-animate
Maxine Walden: And I am wondering whether this is a force of nature, just as is gravity...a de-animating force re our cpacities for thought, space, patience...
Pema Pera: hmm, concrete? or another set of simpler and more destructive metaphors?
Maxine Walden: I find that whenever I lose touch with my inner space or patience this concretization sets in....
Pema Pera: money, for example, is not concrete
Adams Kira: hehe that's for sure
Maxine Walden: what terms seem better, Pema
Pema Pera: centralizing, closing in, as I think you said, Maxine
Maxine Walden: de-animation?
Pema Pera: narrowing
Pema Pera: closing down
Maxine Walden: collapsing?
Pema Pera: pulling up the bridges of one's fortress
Pema Pera: closing the windows
Pema Pera: yes
Eliza Madrigal nods... deadening really, though that seems strong perhaps
Maxine Walden: yes, yes, all those dis-connectings
Pema Pera: like a snail in its shell
Pema Pera: sulking
Maxine Walden: pulling back into my 'snail shell reality'
Maxine Walden: sulking has in my experience been linked wth a hiddne anger (not so hidden) toward the non-affirming 'other'
Pema Pera: interesting, Maxine!

Maxine Walden: grievances long-borne often shape a bitterness
Maxine Walden: and may be difficult to emerge from as to do so means reassessing the value of that long-held grievance
Pema Pera: going back to impulses, as a cause for getting stuck -- maybe that's why the 9 sec can be so effective
Maxine Walden: and perhaps facing the wastage which loyalty to that grievance has caused...
Maxine Walden: good point, Pema, it cuts through the impulses
Pema Pera: yes, it is so hard to backtrack

Pema Pera: once you have taken a stance of "poor me!"
Pema Pera: it would feel like betrayal to yourself
Maxine Walden: exactly, betrayal to the
Maxine Walden: loyalty to the grievance as 'truth'
Eliza Madrigal: like breaking a commitment to yourself, nods... strong points
Maxine Walden: nailshell of grievance
Maxine Walden: snailshell of grievance
Maxine Walden: "I will live in here and this will become my world, my refuge" says the snail
Pema Pera: nailing shut your own door
Maxine Walden: :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Maxine Walden: and grievance is sharp (nails) and jagged
Adams Kira: there still is the window :)
Pema Pera: I recognize those tendencies so well, have felt them often, and I wonder what snapped me out of them
Pema Pera: mostly the ongoings of the world, I guess
Adams Kira: Hello Korel :)
Pema Pera: too interesting to just sulk in a corner
Pema Pera: hi Korel
Eliza Madrigal: maybe you glimpsed too, as Maxine mentions, what it costs
Maxine Walden: :)
Eliza Madrigal: to hold on
Korel Laloix: Bozho
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Korel :)
Maxine Walden: hi, Korel
Pema Pera: yes, Eliza, but that happened more afterwards, I think, upon reflection
Adams Kira: I think sometimes something interesting comes up that can help snap us out
Pema Pera: not while I was sulking
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Adams Kira: more interesting than our sulking
Maxine Walden: we are just finishing up a talk about the things that detract from our inner harmony
Eliza Madrigal: I feel parts of me are sulking all the time :)
Pema Pera: the snapping out was not reasoned or recognized I think, more like being shaken as Adams also said
Maxine Walden: mentioning to Korel
Pema Pera: we'll have to shake parts of Eliza all the time!
Eliza Madrigal: :)

Maxine Walden: that might be interesting to think about further, Pema, the 'shakenings'
Eliza Madrigal: yes
Pema Pera: ashakenings
Eliza Madrigal: !
Pema Pera: for awakenings
Adams Kira hopes the other Adamses are not sulking too much
Pema Pera can see a new cult forming
Maxine Walden: yes!! :)

--BELL--

Maxine Walden: maybe it is time to transition to the 7am PaB session?
Korel Laloix: A good sulk does feeling good for while, and I think is good for you... you can do a lot of honest self exploration in that mood that you can't do normally.
Adams Kira: I must go now
Pema Pera: thank you, Maxine!
Pema Pera: yes, I'll have to get going too
Adams Kira: thank you maxine :)
Maxine Walden: Continue next time?
Pema Pera: a great start, Maxine!
Adams Kira: bye all :)\
Pema Pera: looking forward to next week
Eliza Madrigal: and I as well...
Maxine Walden: thank you all
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Luci :)
Eliza Madrigal: Thanks Maxine, everyone
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi everyone :)
Pema Pera: bfn
SophiaSharon Larnia: and bye :)
Lucinda Lavender: Hi everyone:)
Maxine Walden: yes. Interesting, Korel. Sorry I have to leave, would love to talk more about this when we meet again (to Korel)
Lucinda Lavender: bfn:)
Eliza Madrigal: So sorry to rush off today....
Korel Laloix: Ciao
Eliza Madrigal: Nice to see you Luci, Dash, Sophia :) I'll stop the recorder now so Luci can claim
Dash Earthboy: bye Eliza