The Guardian for this meeting was Wester Kiranov. The comments are by Wester Kiranov.

oO0Oo Resident and I had a very nice conversation about feelings and needs.

Wester Kiranov: hi o0O
oO0Oo Resident: Hi Wester :)
oO0Oo Resident: Good to see you
Wester Kiranov: Good to see you too
oO0Oo Resident: how are you feeling Wester?
Wester Kiranov: I'm Ok.
Wester Kiranov: I had to hurry a bit this morning to get to SL on time with this asynchronous ending of Daylight Saving Time
Wester Kiranov: so I haven't really had breakfast yet.
Wester Kiranov: How are you?
oO0Oo Resident: I don't know if you are comfortable or able to, but, should you like to eat something during the session, I can look out for arrivers while you prepare something.
--BELL--
Wester Kiranov: I already found something easy to prepare. A handful of nuts and a cup of coffee. But thanks for offering :-)
oO0Oo Resident: Oh great! Well offer stands if you want to suppliment. The reason I asked about feelings is, I was studying the list of feelings used in Non-violent communication training. They are divided into two groups; feelings for when needs are satisfied, and feelings for when needs are not satisfied. I'll have a go at listing how I feel using their lists. http://www.cnvc.org/Training/feelings-inventory
Wester Kiranov: That's a nice list
Wester Kiranov: although I'm not sure feeling vulnerable is always a bad thing
Wester Kiranov: I guess that goes for more of the feelings, too much of a "good" feeling may not be good, and just the right amount of a "bad" feeling may be good
Wester Kiranov: and I feel feeling safe should be there as well
Wester Kiranov: just my 2 cents
oO0Oo Resident: That's an interesting question actually... well can you imagine for instance using the word vulnerable to describe a state of needs being met?
oO0Oo Resident: actually, I think they trying to side-step notions of good and bad, and deal directly with describing states that have to do with needs being met or not.
oO0Oo Resident: 'safe' is listed under Content in the upper list
Wester Kiranov: yeah - you could tell someone "when I'm with you I can be vulnerable" meaning that you don't have to guard yourself
--BELL--
Wester Kiranov: but maybe that should be called open hearted
oO0Oo Resident: Yes , was thinking that there may be better ways to describe the vulnerability that is a kind of openness and availability without a sense of any threat
oO0Oo Resident: vulnerable seems to imply (though I don't think it always used that way) a sense of being exposed to threat, rather than simply exposed. ::shrugs:: It's interesting to find the nuances.
Wester Kiranov: it is a nice list to ponder
oO0Oo Resident: Interesting to me also how the list of descriptors regarding needs not being met is significantly larger than the other. Here's what I came up with for me just now: friendly, safe, involved, pleased, mellow, trusting // sensitive, slightly tired
Wester Kiranov: some of the "needs not being met" things are OK if you feel they will be resolved soon, such as being tired or puzzled
oO0Oo Resident: yes the time frame one imagines the needs in is interesting
oO0Oo Resident: some perhaps more long standing, and some more in the moment
oO0Oo Resident: Hi observerm. Nice to see you. Won't join us if you like?
--BELL--
oO0Oo Resident: I must say I enjoy what you see Wester. I learn from reading your observations of things.
oO0Oo Resident: might describe it like.... fine discernments
Wester Kiranov: thanks
Wester Kiranov: It's also interesting to see how these map unto Maslow's piramid
Wester Kiranov: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs
oO0Oo Resident: well yes, that is interesting
oO0Oo Resident: Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC, describes all of human communication being either an expression of appreciation/thanks or a please/request
Wester Kiranov: It strikes me that safety is more being sure of the physical needs, a knowing that it will be resolved sometime (as I said earlier) than an independent tier
Wester Kiranov: and there is a similar relation between love and esteem
Wester Kiranov: being loved and feeling worthy of love, something like that
oO0Oo Resident: :)
oO0Oo Resident: when needs are fulfilled, we might feel more appreciative, and when needs are not, we would be expressing requests, but the language is not always so precise.
oO0Oo Resident: that is
oO0Oo Resident: our sense of our own states translated into these expressions
oO0Oo Resident: thus the violence I guess
--BELL--
oO0Oo Resident: feels to me like a journey of learning to simply contemplate these lists and wonder about knowing and describing ones states of being. Something to develop, more fluency in.
Wester Kiranov: yes, to learn all the nuances
oO0Oo Resident: :) Queen of nuances ;)
oO0Oo Resident: Thanks very much Wester. Really nice to sit with you and talk some.
Wester Kiranov: thank you
oO0Oo Resident: :) Enjoy the day
Wester Kiranov: bye for now
oO0Oo Resident: Bye