2009.01.11 07:00 - Stress Transference

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    Adams Rubble was the guardian and is responsible for comments

    I arrived first but after sitting alone for a time I decide to make sure the chat log is working. When I type "tets" nothing happens and I realize I have crashed. When I return Stevenaia is there waiting for me. Until a new avatar arrives at the very end, this is a dialogue between Steve and myself. It was pleasant to sit down in a one-on-one with Steve.

    stevenaia Michinaga: hello Adams
    Adams Rubble: Hi Steve. have you been here long?
    stevenaia Michinaga: just a few minutes, no one else was
    Adams Rubble: I was sitting by myself and did a test and realized I had crashed
    stevenaia Michinaga: are you GOC?
    Adams Rubble: yes
    Adams Rubble: When one is alone no way of telling unless you type in some chat
    Adams Rubble: How are you?
    stevenaia Michinaga: I am good, enjoying the new snowfall
    stevenaia Michinaga: avoiding tasks at hand
    Adams Rubble: yes, those :)
    Adams Rubble looks out the window at the ice
    stevenaia Michinaga: much to do, nothing pressing...yet
    stevenaia Michinaga: we have about 3 1/2" inches covered by a thin ice crust
    Adams Rubble: Ah, that must be pretty
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes, took a walk around my neighborhood when it started
    Adams Rubble: We were out yesterday at the start too:)
    Adams Rubble: took a walk on the canal
    stevenaia Michinaga: a nice break from inside from the cold
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: why isn;t the recoder working
    Adams Rubble: hmmm. did not know it wasn't. It may be because I was here and crashed
    Adams Rubble: maybe it turned off
    stevenaia Michinaga: I cannot turn it on, not that it matters, I heve never accessed the recorded log
    Adams Rubble: That would be a bug for the crew. If that was a scenario...it would be a common one
    Adams Rubble has no idea about that kind of magic
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes, and other then when you crash I can't really see much use for all the effort that when into it
    Adams Rubble shrugs shoulders
    Adams Rubble thinks someone had an idea for more that did not work out
    Adams Rubble: are you a scribe?
    stevenaia Michinaga: an automatic editor perhaps
    stevenaia Michinaga: no, although I ahve read the first to not knowing what to expect
    Adams Rubble: I haven;t read them yet. I am a mite nervous
    Adams Rubble: Mine is coming up soon
    stevenaia Michinaga: the time I have for some of these extra curricular activities seems to be squeezing things out
    Adams Rubble is running into time issues

    Steve brings up Phenomenology

    stevenaia Michinaga: Phenomenology seems a bit to taxing and time consuming for me, the break is welcome
    Adams Rubble: yes, there has been alot generated
    Adams Rubble: lots to read
    stevenaia Michinaga: I actually also enjoy the beautiful things that have been written in the experiments
    Adams Rubble: yes, there have been :)
    Adams Rubble: I am focusing in a different direction right now
    Adams Rubble: Trying to find something my neutral level
    Adams Rubble: It is related but different too
    Adams Rubble: whoops "something" should not be there
    stevenaia Michinaga: although, I ahev found the wiki to be missing something the group emails offeres, individual conversational threads that pass by your desk, rather than having to seek out entries and posts
    Adams Rubble: hmmmm. I was welcoming the Wiki :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: "neutral level? can you elaborate?
    Adams Rubble: but I see your point. less likely to read
    stevenaia Michinaga: the wiki is a great repository
    Adams Rubble: As you know I have been exploring differnet identities
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes
    Adams Rubble: I have discovered there are two opposing identities going back into childhood
    Adams Rubble: When I began watching thoughts
    Adams Rubble: Pema has been coaching me
    Adams Rubble: I began to see memories not associated with either identity
    Adams Rubble: I realized that was my neutral level
    Adams Rubble: It is easy to be objective about the past
    Adams Rubble: harder to find it in the present
    stevenaia Michinaga: hmmm, I have found I never left "Play" and enjoy that state continuously
    Adams Rubble: I am working on that now
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: Yes, the playing is fun :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: keeps thing open to new directions before you, essential in what I do
    Adams Rubble: yes, but the playing is not enough for me
    Adams Rubble: It was not strong enough to help me in the stress of the fall
    Adams Rubble: You seem to be well centered. Maybe this is not an issue for you
    stevenaia Michinaga: I keep wondering what pressures in Rl will change that in me
    stevenaia Michinaga: always wondering what's around the corner, and never meeting a stressful challenge, as stress really never adresses the issue for em
    stevenaia Michinaga: *me
    Adams Rubble: my first identity does not do well with stress
    stevenaia Michinaga: I used to be stressed at time, but I think I gave it up , like a smoker gives up cigarettes
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: I never smoked but spouse used to, so I assume stress is like any habit you can change
    Adams Rubble: Smoking is tough to give up :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: appearently, so is stress for some
    Adams Rubble looks guilty
    stevenaia Michinaga: from peole who looked into it, it's very distructive to the body
    Adams Rubble: yes both smoking and stress
    Adams Rubble: In a way, dropping our identities is comparable to giving up smoking
    stevenaia Michinaga: chemicals generated by stress.. acting on the body in bad ways
    Adams Rubble looks at the bad chemicals

    Identities Passed to Children

    stevenaia Michinaga: identities.... I see them as something you have can change internally, yet what really matters is what other's see, like chiledren learning from parents, they usually learn to be like you, not what you teach them
    Adams Rubble: yes, exactly
    Adams Rubble: we pass them on
    stevenaia Michinaga: no matter what your intension are, they see through those to what you are, not what you say you are
    Adams Rubble: yes
    Adams Rubble: and unless one roots them out they will continue to create that confusion
    stevenaia Michinaga: explain "roots then out" what?
    Adams Rubble: Once the children are grown then they are alreay passed
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes
    Adams Rubble: the identities that is
    Adams Rubble: so the only thing one can do
    Adams Rubble: is to root them out, shed light on them
    Adams Rubble: and then help others to see them too
    Adams Rubble: the children that is
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes, and be yourself (and hope it is good and centered and kind and understanding and whatever you want your essence to be)

    Back to Stress

    Adams Rubble: I admire your ability to avoid stress :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: I'll keep you posted on that , it is funny, for me, when people point out the changes they see in me around deadlines, however, they see the stesses in me I tend to ignore until they say... look... stress
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: You are in a stressful business
    stevenaia Michinaga: then I say oh.... and try to drop it
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: only from time to time, usually relating to others expectations
    Adams Rubble: expectations vs. reality
    stevenaia Michinaga: well their expectatiosn IS their reality, I jsut have to make it mine
    Adams Rubble: I want a palace and here is funding for a shack :)
    Adams Rubble: yes. good point!
    stevenaia Michinaga: no, I can deal with that conflict, that is their stress, my stress is they wnat it NOW
    Adams Rubble: ah
    Adams Rubble knows that one well :)
    Adams Rubble: It takes six months and they want it this afternoon
    stevenaia Michinaga: ofcourse
    Adams Rubble: It is interesting, one easily is able to not take that stress on directly...
    Adams Rubble: but a few of those in succession is what begins to do its work
    Adams Rubble: Maybe I am doing something wrong? I am not meeting needs
    Adams Rubble: there is the stress
    stevenaia Michinaga: always easier to explain to the unrealistic, what the schedule might truely end up looking like earlier on
    Adams Rubble: yes
    stevenaia Michinaga: ie, stress transference

    "Stress Transference"...I love the concept. Like a mirror reflecting back an image

    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: hehe
    Adams Rubble writes "stress transference" in the things-to-do-book
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: after all, unrealistic schedules places on you is exactly that, they have taken their stress of a task and handed it to you, the moment you accept that.. you inherited their stress
    Adams Rubble: yes
    stevenaia Michinaga: jsut don't say "thank you"
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: In my case it is a bit less obvious but yes, it basically is what is happening
    Adams Rubble: ...and no one says "thank you" when you do the impossible :)

    Overcompensation...another great idea

    stevenaia Michinaga: the only way I have found that to work is to be overcompensated,
    Adams Rubble: hehe
    Adams Rubble never had that circumstance
    stevenaia Michinaga: some of the less enjoyable jobs I have had were they ones I was overpaid for what I didn;t enjoy doing... there seemed to be some balance there
    Adams Rubble: It is important too to enjoy what one is doing
    stevenaia Michinaga: they one's I did enjoy , it mattered less what the pay was
    Adams Rubble: but reality sems to present a little of each (except for the overcompensation part)
    stevenaia Michinaga: of course
    Adams Rubble: There is some benefit to being able to pick and choose jobs to a degree
    stevenaia Michinaga: so know I work for myself, quit every night, have a new employer every day
    Adams Rubble: yes
    Adams Rubble has had the same eployers for a loooonnnngggggg time
    stevenaia Michinaga: and curse the bastard for doing this to me
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: but it suits me (it better)
    Adams Rubble: yes, there is a freedom
    Adams Rubble: I had a brief photography business for a time
    Adams Rubble: but it ran me. I never found the balance
    Adams Rubble: I was photographing architectural models the day my sun was born
    Adams Rubble: The day before my wedding I was photographing architectural drawings
    Adams Rubble: I almost put my camera through one of them
    stevenaia Michinaga: eeek
    Adams Rubble cringes at the memory
    Adams Rubble: I had the drawings (they were 19c) on the floor
    stevenaia Michinaga: best to learn from such things, not to repeat them.. some don't
    Adams Rubble: and the copy stand backward with books on it to hold it up
    stevenaia Michinaga: 19c?
    Adams Rubble: fortunately I removed the drawing first
    Adams Rubble: but took off the books and the copy stand fell on the floor camera lens first
    Adams Rubble: fortunately it was a Nikon so only the viewer and copystand bent
    Adams Rubble: I thought this might not be the business for me :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes
    Adams Rubble: Yes, the drawings were beautiful watercolors from one of the 19c architects
    Adams Rubble: I forgot which now
    stevenaia Michinaga: don't know what a 19c architect is
    stevenaia Michinaga: 19th century
    Adams Rubble: an architect who practiced in the 19th century
    stevenaia Michinaga: nevermind
    Adams Rubble: yes!
    stevenaia Michinaga: must be slow today
    Adams Rubble was a little slower that day :)
    Adams Rubble: hehe
    stevenaia Michinaga: well, on a final point related to this... I find it best to find un-intended humor with peoples malicious (stressful) intention
    Adams Rubble hopes for an example
    stevenaia Michinaga: makes the world worth watching
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: I think of the hotheaded contractor screaming and yelling... as if that will make things happen out of fear and stress
    stevenaia Michinaga: not sure that approach works, but it sure is funny to watch
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: it's the kind of funny you would rather watch than be the central character in
    Adams Rubble: I had the good fortune to be involved in one building project and I was surprised at the amount of conflict and potential conflict as things unfolded
    Adams Rubble: It was a good amount of money and the decisions had implications
    Adams Rubble: It is inteersting to see the results of those decisions too some years later
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes, a smart team resolves problems not seeks blame
    Adams Rubble: It was a good working team...the architect and contractor fought but good naturedly
    stevenaia Michinaga: more like a symphony rather than a union negotiation
    stevenaia Michinaga: :)
    Adams Rubble: The contractor was right about the rugs though. The architect and I were wrong
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: The contratcor said don't buy light cheap rugs
    Adams Rubble: My university only buys cheap :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: how short sighted
    Adams Rubble: so the ussue was light vs. dark
    stevenaia Michinaga: oh light in color
    Adams Rubble: The rugs look awful now
    Adams Rubble: yes
    stevenaia Michinaga: not light duty
    Adams Rubble: oh yes, sorry
    stevenaia Michinaga: so higher maintanence (cleaning)
    Adams Rubble: no they wear well, just filthy
    Adams Rubble: my university skimps on cleaning too :)
    Adams Rubble: so just dirty :)

    A new avatar arrives and Steve and I share briefing duties but we never asked permission so I left out the name

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