2009.01.11 07:00 - Stress Transference

Adams Rubble was the guardian and is responsible for comments

I arrived first but after sitting alone for a time I decide to make sure the chat log is working. When I type "tets" nothing happens and I realize I have crashed. When I return Stevenaia is there waiting for me. Until a new avatar arrives at the very end, this is a dialogue between Steve and myself. It was pleasant to sit down in a one-on-one with Steve.

stevenaia Michinaga: hello Adams
Adams Rubble: Hi Steve. have you been here long?
stevenaia Michinaga: just a few minutes, no one else was
Adams Rubble: I was sitting by myself and did a test and realized I had crashed
stevenaia Michinaga: are you GOC?
Adams Rubble: yes
Adams Rubble: When one is alone no way of telling unless you type in some chat
Adams Rubble: How are you?
stevenaia Michinaga: I am good, enjoying the new snowfall
stevenaia Michinaga: avoiding tasks at hand
Adams Rubble: yes, those :)
Adams Rubble looks out the window at the ice
stevenaia Michinaga: much to do, nothing pressing...yet
stevenaia Michinaga: we have about 3 1/2" inches covered by a thin ice crust
Adams Rubble: Ah, that must be pretty
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, took a walk around my neighborhood when it started
Adams Rubble: We were out yesterday at the start too:)
Adams Rubble: took a walk on the canal
stevenaia Michinaga: a nice break from inside from the cold
Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: why isn;t the recoder working
Adams Rubble: hmmm. did not know it wasn't. It may be because I was here and crashed
Adams Rubble: maybe it turned off
stevenaia Michinaga: I cannot turn it on, not that it matters, I heve never accessed the recorded log
Adams Rubble: That would be a bug for the crew. If that was a scenario...it would be a common one
Adams Rubble has no idea about that kind of magic
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, and other then when you crash I can't really see much use for all the effort that when into it
Adams Rubble shrugs shoulders
Adams Rubble thinks someone had an idea for more that did not work out
Adams Rubble: are you a scribe?
stevenaia Michinaga: an automatic editor perhaps
stevenaia Michinaga: no, although I ahve read the first to not knowing what to expect
Adams Rubble: I haven;t read them yet. I am a mite nervous
Adams Rubble: Mine is coming up soon
stevenaia Michinaga: the time I have for some of these extra curricular activities seems to be squeezing things out
Adams Rubble is running into time issues

Steve brings up Phenomenology

stevenaia Michinaga: Phenomenology seems a bit to taxing and time consuming for me, the break is welcome
Adams Rubble: yes, there has been alot generated
Adams Rubble: lots to read
stevenaia Michinaga: I actually also enjoy the beautiful things that have been written in the experiments
Adams Rubble: yes, there have been :)
Adams Rubble: I am focusing in a different direction right now
Adams Rubble: Trying to find something my neutral level
Adams Rubble: It is related but different too
Adams Rubble: whoops "something" should not be there
stevenaia Michinaga: although, I ahev found the wiki to be missing something the group emails offeres, individual conversational threads that pass by your desk, rather than having to seek out entries and posts
Adams Rubble: hmmmm. I was welcoming the Wiki :)
stevenaia Michinaga: "neutral level? can you elaborate?
Adams Rubble: but I see your point. less likely to read
stevenaia Michinaga: the wiki is a great repository
Adams Rubble: As you know I have been exploring differnet identities
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Adams Rubble: I have discovered there are two opposing identities going back into childhood
Adams Rubble: When I began watching thoughts
Adams Rubble: Pema has been coaching me
Adams Rubble: I began to see memories not associated with either identity
Adams Rubble: I realized that was my neutral level
Adams Rubble: It is easy to be objective about the past
Adams Rubble: harder to find it in the present
stevenaia Michinaga: hmmm, I have found I never left "Play" and enjoy that state continuously
Adams Rubble: I am working on that now
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: Yes, the playing is fun :)
stevenaia Michinaga: keeps thing open to new directions before you, essential in what I do
Adams Rubble: yes, but the playing is not enough for me
Adams Rubble: It was not strong enough to help me in the stress of the fall
Adams Rubble: You seem to be well centered. Maybe this is not an issue for you
stevenaia Michinaga: I keep wondering what pressures in Rl will change that in me
stevenaia Michinaga: always wondering what's around the corner, and never meeting a stressful challenge, as stress really never adresses the issue for em
stevenaia Michinaga: *me
Adams Rubble: my first identity does not do well with stress
stevenaia Michinaga: I used to be stressed at time, but I think I gave it up , like a smoker gives up cigarettes
Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: I never smoked but spouse used to, so I assume stress is like any habit you can change
Adams Rubble: Smoking is tough to give up :)
stevenaia Michinaga: appearently, so is stress for some
Adams Rubble looks guilty
stevenaia Michinaga: from peole who looked into it, it's very distructive to the body
Adams Rubble: yes both smoking and stress
Adams Rubble: In a way, dropping our identities is comparable to giving up smoking
stevenaia Michinaga: chemicals generated by stress.. acting on the body in bad ways
Adams Rubble looks at the bad chemicals

Identities Passed to Children

stevenaia Michinaga: identities.... I see them as something you have can change internally, yet what really matters is what other's see, like chiledren learning from parents, they usually learn to be like you, not what you teach them
Adams Rubble: yes, exactly
Adams Rubble: we pass them on
stevenaia Michinaga: no matter what your intension are, they see through those to what you are, not what you say you are
Adams Rubble: yes
Adams Rubble: and unless one roots them out they will continue to create that confusion
stevenaia Michinaga: explain "roots then out" what?
Adams Rubble: Once the children are grown then they are alreay passed
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Adams Rubble: the identities that is
Adams Rubble: so the only thing one can do
Adams Rubble: is to root them out, shed light on them
Adams Rubble: and then help others to see them too
Adams Rubble: the children that is
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, and be yourself (and hope it is good and centered and kind and understanding and whatever you want your essence to be)

Back to Stress

Adams Rubble: I admire your ability to avoid stress :)
stevenaia Michinaga: I'll keep you posted on that , it is funny, for me, when people point out the changes they see in me around deadlines, however, they see the stesses in me I tend to ignore until they say... look... stress
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: You are in a stressful business
stevenaia Michinaga: then I say oh.... and try to drop it
Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: only from time to time, usually relating to others expectations
Adams Rubble: expectations vs. reality
stevenaia Michinaga: well their expectatiosn IS their reality, I jsut have to make it mine
Adams Rubble: I want a palace and here is funding for a shack :)
Adams Rubble: yes. good point!
stevenaia Michinaga: no, I can deal with that conflict, that is their stress, my stress is they wnat it NOW
Adams Rubble: ah
Adams Rubble knows that one well :)
Adams Rubble: It takes six months and they want it this afternoon
stevenaia Michinaga: ofcourse
Adams Rubble: It is interesting, one easily is able to not take that stress on directly...
Adams Rubble: but a few of those in succession is what begins to do its work
Adams Rubble: Maybe I am doing something wrong? I am not meeting needs
Adams Rubble: there is the stress
stevenaia Michinaga: always easier to explain to the unrealistic, what the schedule might truely end up looking like earlier on
Adams Rubble: yes
stevenaia Michinaga: ie, stress transference

"Stress Transference"...I love the concept. Like a mirror reflecting back an image

Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: hehe
Adams Rubble writes "stress transference" in the things-to-do-book
Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: after all, unrealistic schedules places on you is exactly that, they have taken their stress of a task and handed it to you, the moment you accept that.. you inherited their stress
Adams Rubble: yes
stevenaia Michinaga: jsut don't say "thank you"
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: In my case it is a bit less obvious but yes, it basically is what is happening
Adams Rubble: ...and no one says "thank you" when you do the impossible :)

Overcompensation...another great idea

stevenaia Michinaga: the only way I have found that to work is to be overcompensated,
Adams Rubble: hehe
Adams Rubble never had that circumstance
stevenaia Michinaga: some of the less enjoyable jobs I have had were they ones I was overpaid for what I didn;t enjoy doing... there seemed to be some balance there
Adams Rubble: It is important too to enjoy what one is doing
stevenaia Michinaga: they one's I did enjoy , it mattered less what the pay was
Adams Rubble: but reality sems to present a little of each (except for the overcompensation part)
stevenaia Michinaga: of course
Adams Rubble: There is some benefit to being able to pick and choose jobs to a degree
stevenaia Michinaga: so know I work for myself, quit every night, have a new employer every day
Adams Rubble: yes
Adams Rubble has had the same eployers for a loooonnnngggggg time
stevenaia Michinaga: and curse the bastard for doing this to me
Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: but it suits me (it better)
Adams Rubble: yes, there is a freedom
Adams Rubble: I had a brief photography business for a time
Adams Rubble: but it ran me. I never found the balance
Adams Rubble: I was photographing architectural models the day my sun was born
Adams Rubble: The day before my wedding I was photographing architectural drawings
Adams Rubble: I almost put my camera through one of them
stevenaia Michinaga: eeek
Adams Rubble cringes at the memory
Adams Rubble: I had the drawings (they were 19c) on the floor
stevenaia Michinaga: best to learn from such things, not to repeat them.. some don't
Adams Rubble: and the copy stand backward with books on it to hold it up
stevenaia Michinaga: 19c?
Adams Rubble: fortunately I removed the drawing first
Adams Rubble: but took off the books and the copy stand fell on the floor camera lens first
Adams Rubble: fortunately it was a Nikon so only the viewer and copystand bent
Adams Rubble: I thought this might not be the business for me :)
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Adams Rubble: Yes, the drawings were beautiful watercolors from one of the 19c architects
Adams Rubble: I forgot which now
stevenaia Michinaga: don't know what a 19c architect is
stevenaia Michinaga: 19th century
Adams Rubble: an architect who practiced in the 19th century
stevenaia Michinaga: nevermind
Adams Rubble: yes!
stevenaia Michinaga: must be slow today
Adams Rubble was a little slower that day :)
Adams Rubble: hehe
stevenaia Michinaga: well, on a final point related to this... I find it best to find un-intended humor with peoples malicious (stressful) intention
Adams Rubble hopes for an example
stevenaia Michinaga: makes the world worth watching
Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: I think of the hotheaded contractor screaming and yelling... as if that will make things happen out of fear and stress
stevenaia Michinaga: not sure that approach works, but it sure is funny to watch
Adams Rubble: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: it's the kind of funny you would rather watch than be the central character in
Adams Rubble: I had the good fortune to be involved in one building project and I was surprised at the amount of conflict and potential conflict as things unfolded
Adams Rubble: It was a good amount of money and the decisions had implications
Adams Rubble: It is inteersting to see the results of those decisions too some years later
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, a smart team resolves problems not seeks blame
Adams Rubble: It was a good working team...the architect and contractor fought but good naturedly
stevenaia Michinaga: more like a symphony rather than a union negotiation
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
Adams Rubble: The contractor was right about the rugs though. The architect and I were wrong
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: The contratcor said don't buy light cheap rugs
Adams Rubble: My university only buys cheap :)
stevenaia Michinaga: how short sighted
Adams Rubble: so the ussue was light vs. dark
stevenaia Michinaga: oh light in color
Adams Rubble: The rugs look awful now
Adams Rubble: yes
stevenaia Michinaga: not light duty
Adams Rubble: oh yes, sorry
stevenaia Michinaga: so higher maintanence (cleaning)
Adams Rubble: no they wear well, just filthy
Adams Rubble: my university skimps on cleaning too :)
Adams Rubble: so just dirty :)

A new avatar arrives and Steve and I share briefing duties but we never asked permission so I left out the name