2009.01.29 01:00 - The Silent One

The Guardian for this meeting was Fael Illyar. The comments are by no-one for the moment, feel free if you have time.

 This meeting, I managed to be sleep half an hour of the meeting. Luckily, or unluckily, or both, Susi and Tarmel both were there. Nice change from the last two thursday 1AM meetings that I spent alone.

Susi Alcott: hi Tarmel
Tarmel Udimo: hi susi were you looking forward to a quiet night session?
Susi Alcott: night ?
Susi Alcott: ...AM...
Susi Alcott: :)
Tarmel Udimo: quiet session :-)
Susi Alcott: lol; tried to make a joke :)
Susi Alcott: dont use to have any expertations what's to come
Tarmel Udimo: where are you?
Susi Alcott: felt good to see your to come online and thought that it would be nice if you'de appear here
Susi Alcott: here beside you atm :)*
Tarmel Udimo: and here I am :-)
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Susi Alcott: may I guess why you asked so ?
Tarmel Udimo: yes
Tarmel Udimo: please do
Susi Alcott: thought that because you know that I like much silence, so it can also be 'obvious' to you that I might not like so much if there's a lot of noise around
Tarmel Udimo: yes :-)
Tarmel Udimo: do you listen to music?
Susi Alcott: well; in fact you are very much right, but that's not depended on how many people there's around, but more like how restless there mind is
Susi Alcott: I usually 'walk in silence'
Susi Alcott: rl call
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Tarmel Udimo: smiles rl noise
Susi Alcott: back
Tarmel Udimo: hi
Susi Alcott: gone now
Tarmel Udimo: so no music?
Susi Alcott: usually not
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Susi Alcott: but love for example this bell here
Tarmel Udimo: I'm lisetning to music right now - itunes radio station
Susi Alcott: I love sounds
Tarmel Udimo: yes I love the bell too
Susi Alcott: there's so much such 'music' that I 'hear' without ears
Tarmel Udimo: maybe we should ask storm to make it resonate for longer - the bell that is
Tarmel Udimo: yes what kind of music?
Susi Alcott: hearing now very good music cuz of your presence
Susi Alcott: hm...maybe it's perfect of it's length
Tarmel Udimo: that is very sweet susi, i always hope my presence brings gd music, sometimes i wander
Susi Alcott: afterall; this is a meeting place ment for 'noise' of people's words
Susi Alcott: may I ask you to stop to wonder ?
Tarmel Udimo: true enough - well siad
Tarmel Udimo: *said
Tarmel Udimo: to stop to wonder ? what do you mean
Susi Alcott: you always bring also peace, no matter if you feel which way
Susi Alcott: no matter if you sound like rock'n roll; there's this peace within
Tarmel Udimo: yes I can be a bit rock and rolly sometimes, thtowing cats in amoung the pigeons
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Tarmel Udimo: but its all meant with good intentions, always ;-)
Susi Alcott: and that you also bring within
Tarmel Udimo: stop it now, you making me have tears
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Tarmel Udimo: but thank you
Tarmel Udimo: and you susi?
Tarmel Udimo: are you always at peace?
Susi Alcott: tears can be very good things too
Tarmel Udimo: humm trying to allow that happen more, very rare for me, but getting better at it :-)
Susi Alcott: I believe that each one has limits how much one can 'take' that can stay as one is oneself
Susi Alcott: so I cannot say that there would be always peace inside me
Tarmel Udimo: you might need to open up that sentence a bit mor for me to understand it
Susi Alcott: but I'de say that it's my normal
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Tarmel Udimo: have you worked hard at being at peace?
Tarmel Udimo: were you always like that?
Susi Alcott: that there's 'all the time' noise 'circeling' in me too, but the cor/kernel is silence
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Tarmel Udimo: so noise for you is more than sound?
Susi Alcott: I have worked hard whole my life; still do
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Tarmel Udimo: did you have to or are you drawn to be like that?
Susi Alcott: but in I never have meditated, or worked otherwise the way I think you mean...only done my daily work the best way I can
Tarmel Udimo: its the only way...
Susi Alcott: I like to work...I like challenges
Susi Alcott: would say like this; I'm not afraid of hard work; I can sleep beside it
Tarmel Udimo: and the silence?
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Susi Alcott: :)
Susi Alcott: that's just what I am
Tarmel Udimo: hummm
Susi Alcott: 'the silent one' was the 'title' I was given by several people
Susi Alcott: many called me that way in Egypt
Susi Alcott: and I wondered how come
Susi Alcott: I didnt' understand there meaning, because so many people wanted me to talk much
Susi Alcott: but finally I asked from one person that what they mean with that
Tarmel Udimo: and?
Susi Alcott: that way I learned to 'explane' myself better than ever before
Susi Alcott: cuz they explaned that they mean the silence there is inside me
Tarmel Udimo: okay so the silence became your strength
Susi Alcott: it's been my strength whole my this incarnation too
Susi Alcott: likewise 'few' other
Tarmel Udimo: so you've been on the spiritual path for a long time
Susi Alcott: since my birth
Susi Alcott: was born to be 'odd' :)
Tarmel Udimo: I suspect most of the people who come to PaB and stay are born a little odd :-)
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Susi Alcott: at least a little :)))
Tarmel Udimo: they'ed have to be
Susi Alcott: hm
Tarmel Udimo: And so you were born in the middle east?
Susi Alcott: no
Susi Alcott: but please dont ask more
Susi Alcott: but I understand why you thought so
Susi Alcott: but that's your 'inner knowledge' 'speaking'
Tarmel Udimo: okay, you mentioned it which is why I brought it up.... but happy to drop it
Susi Alcott: but it's speaking about my 'past'
Tarmel Udimo: hey there fael
Susi Alcott: hi Fael
Tarmel Udimo: Play as being Watch v1.1 for woman will ring next in 7 minutes 11 seconds. what's that?
Fael Illyar: Hi Susi, Tarmel :)
Fael Illyar: funny, sort of :)
Susi Alcott: no prob dear Lady; I can open my mouth :)))
Tarmel Udimo: good
Tarmel Udimo: ;-)
Fael Illyar: the first time this week that I sleep past 1AM slt.... and of course it's my guardian shift :)
Tarmel Udimo: I thoiught it was susi's
Susi Alcott: sure I honour people's rights to ask anything, but sometimes I give the answer 'before the question' :))))
Tarmel Udimo: grins
Susi Alcott: np Fael
Susi Alcott: we can play that I was you for a while
Susi Alcott: all is well
Fael Illyar smiles 'Thank you.'
Tarmel Udimo: wow fael what an outfit......
Fael Illyar: Also the first time in a while that there actually is someone here other than me :)
Tarmel Udimo: awwwwwww
Tarmel Udimo: well we're here
Susi Alcott: brb
Susi Alcott: back
Tarmel Udimo: are either of you planning on going to the retreat?
Susi Alcott: I cannot
Tarmel Udimo: why?
Susi Alcott: living too far
Fael Illyar: well, it's mostly a money issue but ... yes, that applies for me too.
Tarmel Udimo: yes me too, but I am going to try, we all should
Fael Illyar: Of course, if it's just 5 days, it's just enough time to get over jetlag and then another round of jetlag :)
Tarmel Udimo: hahahahah know that well
Fael Illyar: no thank you :)
Tarmel Udimo: byb
Fael Illyar: I'm rather reluctant to go for short trips to the states :)
Tarmel Udimo: I'm back
Susi Alcott: we can look upon the bright side; we can meet in SL
Susi Alcott: wcb
Tarmel Udimo: exactly
Fael Illyar: yes :)
Fael Illyar: no need to bother with jetlag :)
Tarmel Udimo: well said
Fael Illyar: There's a certain "flavors" missing from SL meetings but it's close enough that it feels like meeting :)
Tarmel Udimo: yes its been a life line for me
Tarmel Udimo: flavour or no flavours :-)
Fael Illyar smiles.
Fael Illyar: Well, I guess you could sort of say the same for me :)
Tarmel Udimo: yes?
Fael Illyar: I've been using internet for communicating with people for ... 9 years I think and before SL, I didn't really have very close relations with anyone through it.
Fael Illyar: now, after a year of SL, ... well, now I have.
Fael Illyar: Would also say that overall, I'm feeling much better than around a year ago.
Tarmel Udimo: yes?
Fael Illyar: well, it's kind of difficult to explain :)
Fael Illyar: but PaB has had a big part in that :)
Fael Illyar: understanding yourself better does tend to make you feel better :)
Tarmel Udimo: yes I feel really blessed meeting like minded souls
Tarmel Udimo: even though we are all so different
Fael Illyar smiles.
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Tarmel Udimo: and i do think Pema's brilliant
Fael Illyar: not many here who would disagree I think :)
Susi Alcott: thought already 'long time' that 'somebody' might needed to tell Pema that he's missed much
Tarmel Udimo: you just did :-)
Fael Illyar: but I have noted that he's himself less around lately.
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Fael Illyar: Yes, Pema reads all the logs, likely still :)
Susi Alcott: and that is sad thing
Susi Alcott: meaning that he is less around
Susi Alcott: so much less
Fael Illyar: He's part of what keeps things going here :)
Tarmel Udimo: humm perhaps takes on too much
Fael Illyar: but his presence would be most important.
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Tarmel Udimo: yes we can keep the flow going but it is his presence I agree
Tarmel Udimo: as well as his wisdom :-)
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Tarmel Udimo: he's pretty much a long way down the path, pretty close to the abyss I reckon
Fael Illyar: abyss?
Tarmel Udimo: he's getting ready to dive in he may have already ;-)
Tarmel Udimo: where there is no path
Susi Alcott: or where is the most clear path to walk on
Susi Alcott: because it's to be seen
Susi Alcott: clearly
Tarmel Udimo: yes that's another way to describe it
Tarmel Udimo: but ultimately I think the path must dissapear
Tarmel Udimo: disappear
Fael Illyar blinks 'what path?'
Fael Illyar has the "play dumb" expression on her face.
Susi Alcott: one's own
Tarmel Udimo: laughs....
Susi Alcott: that's often very cute play :))))
Susi Alcott: and very helpfull
Tarmel Udimo: well just in case we don't mean the same thing, there is a saying that once the spirit begins the return jiurney home
Tarmel Udimo: is when it first steps onto 'the path'
Tarmel Udimo: and once on the return journey, ther is no turning back
Susi Alcott: sadly there is
Tarmel Udimo: there can be aimless wandering, running backwards, trying to dive off
Tarmel Udimo: but the reality is that at some point the slow pull of return will start to have an effect
Tarmel Udimo: and like a fishing line slowly reel us in
Susi Alcott: when one takes oneself so far from own path, the those people one was chooced to help...that is returning back
Tarmel Udimo: you mean other people make you leave the path
Tarmel Udimo: not sure what you're saying?
Susi Alcott: you named one reason why somebody takes that returning back
Tarmel Udimo: returning back to the 'source'?
Susi Alcott: that if one betrades one's so called heavenly mission one has choocen to do
Susi Alcott: no; ment that there is also returning back from the home coming journey
Fael Illyar: I might call it "returning back to dreaming or illusions"
Tarmel Udimo: yes by returning away from?
Susi Alcott: and that happenes when one betrades one's own promised and choocen path for other people
Tarmel Udimo: yes I agree, however I believe that once one has taken even a tiny step back to the source, no matter how many times one wavres there is no escape
Tarmel Udimo: wavers
Susi Alcott: turning one's back to the truth of own choocen path so much that it creates much lag to those people one has chooced to help
Tarmel Udimo: perhaps we are talking about two different things...
Susi Alcott: seems so
Tarmel Udimo: i think you are saying that you must fulfill the promises you made in the past to help people and by not doing that you are holding up their stepping onwards on the path?
Susi Alcott: I'm trying tell causes to my saying that there is 'the returning back'
Tarmel Udimo: is this what you mean?
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Susi Alcott: also from the path of returning home
Fael Illyar: (I don't think there necessarily are promises invoved but could be)
Susi Alcott: that's what I tried to say
Susi Alcott: there's not so many people that do live only for oneself
Tarmel Udimo: yes?
Susi Alcott: sure there's neither many such people that do live the most for other people
Susi Alcott: but there are many people that do live for very many other people too
Susi Alcott: and in case such person betrades one's own choocen path
Tarmel Udimo: in fact i wander if serving people is the only way
Susi Alcott: so strongly that it creates essential unbalance to those people that one was supposed to help
Susi Alcott: that is returning back from the home coming journey
Tarmel Udimo: okay now I understand you ;-)
Susi Alcott: to help ; that is not always to serve so that it's obviously to be seen as serving
Susi Alcott: how to serve; that is an other question
Tarmel Udimo: yes that is
Susi Alcott: often to serve genuinly sure is 'not to serve'
Susi Alcott: but human life is 'team work'
Susi Alcott: to most of the people
Susi Alcott: today many would say 'network'
Tarmel Udimo: so you believe in group 'karma'
Susi Alcott: my view of human life can be expressed like that too
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Susi Alcott: just that there is so much opinions of karma too...
Susi Alcott: so; thinking that very openly I can agree with those words
Tarmel Udimo: yes i don't like the word very much
Susi Alcott: as there sure is not much musts or must nots
Tarmel Udimo: grins
Susi Alcott: and basicly life ---imo--is only tries
Tarmel Udimo: imo ?
Susi Alcott: in my opinion
Tarmel Udimo: ty
Susi Alcott: sry
Susi Alcott: learned in SL
Tarmel Udimo: yes - and I need to learn them tooo :-)
Fael Illyar: some people use that enough that it's useful to abbreviate :)
Tarmel Udimo: yes :-)
Tarmel Udimo: you are both glowing its nice...
Fael Illyar: sometimes seen in form imho (in my humble/holy opinion)
Tarmel Udimo: fael how do I control the aura so I can limit the size?
Tarmel Udimo: laughs at fael last comment
Susi Alcott: ty Fael
Susi Alcott: I've pondered that
Tarmel Udimo: susi gave me an aura card but I only know how to tunr it on and off
Fael Illyar: unfortunately, I don't know how to tweak the aura you have. It might be that not much more can be done.
Susi Alcott: the size cannot be limited
Tarmel Udimo: yes I have the list of commands but they don't make sense (to me)
Susi Alcott: you need to start all of the commands with /7
Tarmel Udimo: yes and also I have a cube sitting on me
Tarmel Udimo: so what's range?
Fael Illyar: ah, perhaps it's visible so you can move it.
Fael Illyar: in that case there would be commands to hide/show it
Susi Alcott: oh dont you Fael have it ?
Fael Illyar: No :) I have my own :)
Tarmel Udimo: smarty pants
Tarmel Udimo: :-)
Susi Alcott: your so much better with these things
Fael Illyar: Susi, if possible you could try to give multiple items as folders instead of one at a time.
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Fael Illyar: I really am using my own :P
Susi Alcott: thought that you know more
Susi Alcott: and your so much better to advise these things than I am
Fael Illyar: well, I can read the notecard and try to explain but ... most of these are such that you'd need to try them to really understand.
Susi Alcott: aha
Fael Illyar: no self-destruct button here that I can see.
Tarmel Udimo: smiles
Susi Alcott: so it's much like all in the world
Susi Alcott: so much we just must to try
Susi Alcott: before we can know
Fael Illyar: yes, that's the primary mode of learning :)
Susi Alcott: thankfully people are more willing to share the existing knowledge
Susi Alcott: because so much there is always to learn new
Fael Illyar: yes, just some knowledge is more easy to get by trying :)
Tarmel Udimo: okay i attached it to my chest and that got rid of the little cuby thingy
Fael Illyar: yes, chest sounds like a good attachment point for that.
Susi Alcott: you can also 'wear' and move it with arrows
Tarmel Udimo: yes?
Susi Alcott: the red/white ball that was to be seen 'on your lap'
Susi Alcott: is that aura generator
Tarmel Udimo: see how wide the balls go?
Tarmel Udimo: too much
Susi Alcott: that cannot be changed either, that how much they go
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Fael Illyar: you could target them to yourself perhaps?
Susi Alcott: but you can point them to go to some Av I take
Tarmel Udimo: good idea
Tarmel Udimo: let me try
Susi Alcott: smiles
Fael Illyar: will probably take a while to see the effect :)
Tarmel Udimo: hummm
Tarmel Udimo: no good
Tarmel Udimo: there is a range but don't know how to use that
Fael Illyar: try targeting me?
Fael Illyar: range is for target acquisition I think.
Tarmel Udimo: okay
Fael Illyar: how far away targets it'll pick
Fael Illyar: seems to work.
Tarmel Udimo: yes
Susi Alcott: looks very beautiful
Tarmel Udimo: now i am targeting susi :-)
Fael Illyar: my targeted poofer :P
Tarmel Udimo: yep an expert now :-)
Tarmel Udimo: I will leave you two lovely people with balls of light glwoing all around you
Tarmel Udimo: glwoing
Tarmel Udimo: glowing :-)
Fael Illyar smiles 'See you later Tarmel.'
Tarmel Udimo: time for a bath and read
Fael Illyar waves.
Susi Alcott: _/!\_
Tarmel Udimo: bye
Tarmel Udimo: waves good bye to her friends ;-)
Susi Alcott: have good time Tarmel
Susi Alcott: C U again
Tarmel Udimo: healing water - yummmmmmm
Fael Illyar: wow, long session :)
Susi Alcott: if we look at the clock :)
Susi Alcott: we can also forget it
Fael Illyar: forget?
Susi Alcott: the 'time' that the clock tells
Susi Alcott: meaning; to me---believing also to you---it was short session
Susi Alcott: because time did 'fly'
Fael Illyar: Ah, yes, kind of :)
Susi Alcott: as it usually does when it's creation of good time
Susi Alcott: 'never time enough'
Fael Illyar smiles.