The Guardian for this meeting was Maxine Walden. The comments are by Maxine Walden.

In an attempt to offer more focus on the 90 second practice, but also site the origins of our PaB in the explorations of the nature of reality, I offer some questions in this regard early in the session. Interestingly the focus seemed to turn toward loneliness and to my reading how we can find ourselves alienated from ourselves often when we are out of touch with our own quiet self respect, often ascribing such to external circumstances.

Re formatting these notes, after some discussion among guardians this morning I am going to alter the log very little, even with my own comments, to let it stand for the reader's own internal editorial experience.  I have eliminated the redundant greetings, etc.

Maxine Walden: ah, I Arch!
Archmage Atlantis: Nice to see you and read your comments Maxine :)
Maxine Walden: :) nice to see you, Arch
Maxine Walden: Which comments?
Archmage Atlantis: The ones you shall utter while here, of course
Wol Euler: hello maxine, arch
Maxine Walden: :), oh. Thanks,
Maxine Walden: hi, Wol. Nice to see you again
Wol Euler: likewise :)
Archmage Atlantis: Hi, Wol.....quite delicate a look for you.....
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: springtime!
Archmage Atlantis: Yes
Maxine Walden: muses about a delicate seeming Wol...
Maxine Walden: :)
Wol Euler: :)
Wol Euler: I don't *always* wear spikes and chains, do I?
Maxine Walden: LOL, of course not...but there has often been that captivating dark outfit, or my image anyway....
Archmage Atlantis: I don't have access to always....still, I rarely remember the more softer of looks
Wol Euler: true enough, my "usual" is fairly dark - in both senses
Maxine Walden: you know, the intense sensory experiences, such as memorable dress, appearance, remains so much more vivid in mind for me, I think, just because of the intense imagery...
Wol Euler nods.
Maxine Walden: than the softer appearing dress or other elements
Wol Euler: ((brb, need tea and an aspirin or two))
Maxine Walden: oh! Hope not due to our comments
Archmage Atlantis: *big smle and chuckle*
Maxine Walden: :)
Maxine Walden: Arch, I have not heard much about your shoulder companion...
Archmage Atlantis: Koya? She has her own notecard.....has had for long time
Archmage Atlantis: I will share it
Maxine Walden: ah, then, my inattention...
Maxine Walden: yes would like to see the notecard
Maxine Walden: How interesting! Are you intimate with the Hopi traditions?
Wol Euler: back, reading
Archmage Atlantis: I would not claim intimacy with any tradition......I am familiar with many......some of which I find meaningful
Maxine Walden: ah.
Wol Euler: helo druth
Wol Euler: hello sun
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Wol, Maxine, Arch ;)
Archmage Atlantis: And her comes the sun
Maxine Walden: hi, Sun
Sunshine Vayandar: ;) how are you all
--BELL--
Maxine Walden: lovely outfit
Wol Euler hums "it's been a long and lonely winter"
Maxine Walden: :))
Wol Euler: I'm mostly well, thanks SUn, and you?
Archmage Atlantis: today I watched green shots appear, went to the shops for groceries, came home and cooked for several hours.....it has been a good day
Sunshine Vayandar: ty getting better after this cold
Wol Euler smiles.
Maxine Walden: Wondering during the pause about one of origins of the pause, and of these meetings, which as I recall included explorations of the nature of reality, which of course may be unique in each of our experience. Wondering whether we might care to share our various 'discoveries' or experiences in this area...maybe especially as we come up to the 3rd year anniversary of PaB
Sunshine Vayandar: ;) Arch
Maxine Walden: Realizing that for many the 90 sec pauses, dropping what we have to see who we are, may be a vital way to explore the nature of reality 'below' the surface appearances of things. But there may be other forms of exploration as well. Would it be of interest for us to share about this?
Maxine Walden: (silence....may be a bad sign...a conversation stopper)
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Archmage Atlantis: Exploration is always of interest to me......even when it makes me afraid
Wol Euler: waiting for you to finish typing, maxine :)
Sunshine Vayandar: no I was thinking of what you said
Maxine Walden: :) done typing, for now
Wol Euler: :)
Sunshine Vayandar: the more I get into these explorations - the more I feel that everyday I start anew
Maxine Walden: :)
Sunshine Vayandar: especially when I see that there are others doing the same - or similar explorations
Wol Euler nods.
Maxine Walden: nods as well
Sunshine Vayandar: it's encouraging - where I live noone wanna explore ;(
Sunshine Vayandar: ;p
Maxine Walden: ah, nice to find a community then
Maxine Walden: here in SL
Archmage Atlantis: They await the spark of the sun
Wol Euler: if it helps, Sun, there is only 1 person in my RL with whom I can talk about this stuff.
Wol Euler: it's always a minority interest :)
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm this is why I enjoy listening to everyone here
Wol Euler: yep
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Rhi ;)
druth Vlodovic: lol, I've been so dry myself I developed my own vocabulary, gets me in trouble all the time
Wol Euler: hello rhi, take a seat :)
Maxine Walden: hi, Rhi, please join us
Maxine Walden: hi, Sharon
Rhiannon Dragoone: hi Sunshine, Arch, druth, Wol, Max.
SophiaSharon Larnia: hji Sun, hi everyone, sorry to be late
druth Vlodovic: hmm, a crowd, lets go around the circle
Wol Euler: hello sharon
Rhiannon Dragoone: I'm on my phone; cant take a seat.

At about this time Wol physically moves Rhi's naked standing avi to the outer part of the circle.

Rhiannon Dragoone: I'll leave if That's a problem.
Maxine Walden: We are just sharing a bit about our experience, sometimes our loneliness re our interests in explorating the nature of reality in whatever way suits us
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Rhiannon Dragoone: hi, sharon.
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
Archmage Atlantis: To me, Rhi, it is only a problem if you choose to leave
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Rhiannon Dragoone: Lonely in exploring or solitary? There's a difference
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm lonely or solitary?
SophiaSharon Larnia: sometimes either, solitary without being lonely at all, other times lonely in a room of people :)
druth Vlodovic: does anybody here have a RL circle they talk about this sort of thing with?
Wol Euler: I have one friend with whom I can discuss this, and a cousin and my sister, but htey are 8000 km away
SophiaSharon Larnia: a rather expensive phone call
--BELL--
Wol Euler: nobody else is open to such discussions
Maxine Walden: :)
Rhiannon Dragoone: I sometimes discuss these things with Rosalyn.
Maxine Walden: maybe we can explore the notion of 'lonely' vs 'solitary' in this regard even in this pause we are in...
Sunshine Vayandar: it is quite lonely when one moves to another country .... so I learn a lot about lonely
Wol Euler nods.
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
Wol Euler: hello zen
SophiaSharon Larnia: solitary, to me, feels like one exploring without the need for external influences
Maxine Walden: hi, Zen
Rhiannon Dragoone: How much of that is just not knowing the ropes, sunshine?
Zen Arado: Hi all
Maxine Walden: Solitayr, then SS, may not be the same as lonely, is one feels internal accompaniment?
Sunshine Vayandar: You know daily have have social situations where I feel like I don't exist - since I don't speak the language
Maxine Walden: if
Archmage Atlantis: Hello, Zen......we have been sharing quite intimate feelings
Sunshine Vayandar: ops lol
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes, or being comfortable with occasionally feeling lonely maybe
Sunshine Vayandar: hope u understand what I mean
Rhiannon Dragoone: hi, Zen!
Maxine Walden: hmm
SophiaSharon Larnia: i think i can sun
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Maxine Walden: maybe we feel lonely if we do not feel we can 'talk to ourselves' or have a meaningful internal language, following Sun's comments?
Rhiannon Dragoone: I have felt that just moving from one part of the US to another.
Archmage Atlantis: I have also felt that Rhi
Wol Euler: I think it takes other people around us, to whom we cannot connect, for us to feel lonely.
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm it can happen whenever one travels - it just gets a bit worse when one changes continents
Zen Arado: loneliness is part of life we don't like to admit to I think
Zen Arado: agree Sun
Wol Euler nods.
Maxine Walden: yes, Rhi, even within a country within ostensibly the 'same language'
Sunshine Vayandar: one can get lonely sitting by a family table
Zen Arado: I found Sydney could be lonely
SophiaSharon Larnia: nods
Wol Euler: true, sun.
Zen Arado: big cities are worse than small communities in that regard I think
Wol Euler: perhaps loneliness is the lack of a "tribe"
Sunshine Vayandar: yes true Zen
SophiaSharon Larnia: just talking about it makes me feel loneliness more keenly :)
Rhiannon Dragoone: Max, yes; but with a whole different subtextual language.
Sunshine Vayandar: that is nice Wol - lack of tribe
Rhiannon Dragoone: Or not being able to find your tribe.
Sunshine Vayandar: what keeps a tribe together
Maxine Walden: yes, varying cultural contexts, or 'what we talk about and what we don't can vary in my experience, not only from town to town, house to house, but often within my own states of mind (my own conflicting selves)
Wol Euler: I've realized something, my love of returning to familiar places is a way of accelerating the creation of a kind of "belonging"
Wol Euler: like in Israel, I found a cafe on my first day and went back there every day after that. Instant "belonging"
Wol Euler: recognition
Zen Arado: always moving around makes us lonely
Sunshine Vayandar: reminds me of the cafes in Tunis
Wol Euler: I went to other places too, sure, but I always went there first :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
Zen Arado: need time to create frendships
Rhiannon Dragoone: A lot of Americans are like that abroad when They spot a McDonald's.
Maxine Walden: interesting, Wol
Sunshine Vayandar: it's interesting how I felt at home as soon as I arrived in North Africa
Sunshine Vayandar: most things were unfamiliar - still felt a "home" feeling
Wol Euler listens.
Maxine Walden: yes, Sun, care to say more?
Sunshine Vayandar: didn't know anyone - didn't understand what people said
Rhiannon Dragoone: I had similar experiences when first in SL.
Zen Arado: me too
Sunshine Vayandar: when I traveled in West European countries often things were "too clean" as if noone has ever used things
Sunshine Vayandar: really Rhi?
Maxine Walden: oh, Rhi, would be interested in hearing about that too
Zen Arado: yes
Wol Euler chuckles.
Archmage Atlantis: Oh, geez, you could at least site starbucks, not mcd's place
Rhiannon Dragoone: Arch, laughs.
Zen Arado: there's one near me in Ireland Arch :)
Sunshine Vayandar: when I went to the US that was also strange and had an alienating feeling - since everyone used cars - I felt that separated people - compared to Hungary
Wol Euler: yes, true, public transport is a great mixer
Archmage Atlantis: Someday, in some body, I shall come to Ireland and have the local pub specials *g*
Sunshine Vayandar: when I arrived in North Africa - everything was soo organic... like it was being used - so much music on the streets etc.
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
Zen Arado: the Pizza hut and KFC too Arch
Sunshine Vayandar: and people often just turned to me - asked the time or anything else .... it was easy to chat with people there
Zen Arado: sonds great
Archmage Atlantis: Awk!
--BELL--
Wol Euler smiles.
Rhiannon Dragoone: Well I went to find similar people in SL; interesting that I was instantly accepted by the strippers, but the philosophers, so-called, didn't warm to me; I had to like earn being with them with my discussions. Now, I'm one of the culture - creators.
Rhiannon Dragoone: It's like even wannabe philosophers are snobs.
Zen Arado: yeh
Zen Arado: I liked Herman's place
Archmage Atlantis: Usuallly works the other way for me, Rhi......makes getting a shag almost impossible
Rhiannon Dragoone: Yeah. Herman was cool.
Wol Euler laughs.
Rhiannon Dragoone: Arch, lmao.
Maxine Walden: So we each have had our own experiences of acceptance, ostracism, loneliness it sounds...and many different ways being mentioned
Maxine Walden: differnt vertices of experience...
Rhiannon Dragoone: Well, You're a Guy, Arch. When I first arrived in SL, it really helped your acceptance in the philosophy Sims to have a dick. Nearly bought one
Wol Euler nods to Maxine
Maxine Walden: Outer manifestations, such as a dick, but maybe inner manifestations, such as quiet self respect on the one hand and doubt on another
Rhiannon Dragoone: It's being a stranger--the root of alienation is 'alien,'--stranger.
Rhiannon Dragoone: hi Freud!
Maxine Walden: Maybe at times we become strangers to ourselves...
Sunshine Vayandar: osiyo ;)
Wol Euler: hello freud
Maxine Walden: Hi, Freud
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Freud :)
Freud Jungsten: Heya
Sunshine Vayandar: True Maxine
Archmage Atlantis: My mother was a powerful person, and a woman in this realm........body parts do not mean anything
Archmage Atlantis: M
Archmage Atlantis: My Dad was someone who loved all life
Archmage Atlantis: I honor them
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Zen Arado: Hi Freud :)
Maxine Walden: Sounds like you are grateful, Arch, to have parents who you respect deeply
Archmage Atlantis: Yes, Maxine
Archmage Atlantis: I did not see, because I was too close
Archmage Atlantis: Now I see
Wol Euler nods.
Wol Euler: that's a common experience, Arch :)
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm yes
Wol Euler: we take for granted at first
Maxine Walden: hi, steve
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Steve ;)
Wol Euler: hello steve
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Steve :)
Zen Arado: hi Steve :)
Archmage Atlantis: Hi Stevenaia
Freud Jungsten: I have a very different relationship with my parents.
stevenaia Michinaga: hello .. smiles
Archmage Atlantis: To me, it appears you have chosen your outfit with unusual thought
Maxine Walden: Oh, Freud?
Archmage Atlantis: Time for Freud
Rhiannon Dragoone: Hi shant
Freud Jungsten: There is nothing posotive about it.
Rhiannon Dragoone: hi steve
Maxine Walden: hi, Shanti
Wol Euler: hello shanti
Wol Euler: hvae you been here before?
Sunshine Vayandar: I must go - ty so much for the chat ;) take care all ;)
SophiaSharon Larnia: bye Sun :))
Freud Jungsten: Ciao
Wol Euler: bye sun, take care
Shanti Mactavish: no i havent...
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Maxine Walden: I realize this conversation is really just getting started, but with the hour up I have to go, so will take the chatlog and hope to hear more of the discussion
SophiaSharon Larnia: bye Maxine
Archmage Atlantis: B;essings and namaste sister sun
Wol Euler: ok, I'll give you an introduction in IM so that we don'T disturb the others.
stevenaia Michinaga: bye MAxine
Maxine Walden: bye for now, and thanks for such a good discussion
Wol Euler: bye maxine, enjoy your sunday.
Rhiannon Dragoone: bye sun.
Maxine Walden: thanks everyone
--BELL--
Rhiannon Dragoone: I have to go too. It will be lonely without you guys.
Wol Euler: bye rhi, bye zen
SophiaSharon Larnia: i have to go also, bye everyone :))
Wol Euler: bye sharon, take care
Archmage Atlantis: Druth was about to tell us all something importan t
druth Vlodovic: what?
Archmage Atlantis: I must have been mistaken]
druth Vlodovic: lol, I seldom have anything important to say
Archmage Atlantis: Druth, you are the only person of color who appears regularly in the circle
Archmage Atlantis: I would seem you have things to tell
Freud Jungsten: You don;t count me?..... lol
Archmage Atlantis: Yes
Archmage Atlantis: I do Freud
druth Vlodovic: no, mixed races just seems more natural to me, it's all about where you'refrom I guess
Freud Jungsten: But I am not the regualr... smiels
druth Vlodovic: eat more fibre
Wol Euler chuckles.
Freud Jungsten: OH.... lol
druth Vlodovic: ah well, I have to go get ready for work, have fun all
Wol Euler: bye druth, take care
Archmage Atlantis: Yea, deer hide is really contipating
stevenaia Michinaga: bye Druth
Freud Jungsten: Ciao.
Archmage Atlantis: I have a story to tell
stevenaia Michinaga: listens
Wol Euler: please do
Archmage Atlantis: If any wish to hear it they may stay
Shanti Mactavish: listening
Freud Jungsten: OK
Archmage Atlantis: This week, I brought 2 parakeets into my home......one yellow one sapphire......the sapphire one has a deformed wing
Archmage Atlantis: I simply do not understand why I did that
Archmage Atlantis: I already have 2 parakeets
Archmage Atlantis: I blue, 1 whicht
Wol Euler: how did you come to them, Arch? the new ones, I mean.
--BELL--
Archmage Atlantis: I did what I thought was right, I put then new guys hanging on a cage outside the other two so they would learn each other
Archmage Atlantis: I came to them because when I went in the store, they called to me......not in sound
Archmage Atlantis: but as beings who wished to be in my family
Archmage Atlantis: Sorry, talked through the bell
Wol Euler nods.
Wol Euler: np
Archmage Atlantis: There is no logic in that
Archmage Atlantis: There is only being and acceptance
Wol Euler finds logic overrated as a basis for living.
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
Archmage Atlantis: And in the world, those things have been lost
Archmage Atlantis: I read through the emails this am
Archmage Atlantis: from the pab google site
Archmage Atlantis: IAnd I feel a power there
Archmage Atlantis: and a fear
Archmage Atlantis: that is like these parakeets who came to me
Archmage Atlantis: <ust go="">
Wol Euler nods thoughtfully.
stevenaia Michinaga: BRB
Shanti Mactavish: thank you for this place... i am going now and will return
Wol Euler: bye shanti, take care
Wol Euler: we meet here 1am 7am 1pm 7pm every day
Wol Euler: drop by whenevery you wish
Shanti Mactavish: thank you... enjoy
Wol Euler: my dears, I too will move on.. Goodnight, enjoy your Sundays.
Freud Jungsten: Ciao bella.
Freud Jungsten: Take care.
Wol Euler: grazie
Wol Euler: you too</ust>