2013.08.21 19:00 - A Beautiful Session

eliza posted this session for now...

[19:49] Paradise Tennant: hiya luci
[19:49] Paradise Tennant: I am filling in for stev tonight hannah is coming home from a trip to LA !
[19:50] Lucinda Lavender: NIce!
[19:50] Lucinda Lavender: I came to say hi
[19:50] Paradise Tennant: smiles at you hi !
[19:50] Paradise Tennant: how are you
[19:50] Paradise Tennant: oooo have a deam for you
[19:50] Lucinda Lavender: hold on one moment...kitty needs something...great !
[19:52] Lucinda Lavender: I am back
[19:53] Lucinda Lavender: love your kimono

[19:54] Lucinda Lavender: curious about the dream...recently had a dream that all I knew was it was about dreaming
[19:55] Paradise Tennant: ok it was not my dream but a friends who I had dinner with this week.
[19:55] Paradise Tennant: She has a new little grand daughter ...
[19:55] Paradise Tennant: She is in her back garden .
[19:56] Paradise Tennant: with the little girl .
[19:56] Paradise Tennant: When she looks over to her .. she is picking up horrible black malicious bettles and p;utting them in her mouth
[19:56] Paradise Tennant: the little girl is maybe only 18 mths
[19:57] Lucinda Lavender: interesting
[19:57] Paradise Tennant: my freind rushes over and knocks the bettles out of her hand and sweeps her up in her arms and is so scared she holds her trembling
[19:58] Lucinda Lavender: scary
[19:59] Paradise Tennant: was thinking maybe it was a protection dream the little girl is all innocence .. and just beginning on her journey into a world with bettles

[19:59] Lucinda Lavender: yes...without fear perhaps because of innocence
[20:03] Lucinda Lavender: the color black is interesting
[20:04] Lucinda Lavender: I think of a transformational color
[20:05] Lucinda Lavender: and the void...
[20:08] Paradise Tennant: yes the abyss
[20:08] Paradise Tennant: find the dark really is part of the light really
[20:08] Paradise Tennant: not sure it really gets to me so much anymore
[20:08] Lucinda Lavender: nods...
[20:09] Lucinda Lavender: :)

[20:12] Lucinda Lavender: have you had any dreams?
[20:13] Lucinda Lavender: I have not remembered too many lately
[20:13] Paradise Tennant: hmm
[20:13] Paradise Tennant: not that I remember have been working lots of hours of late not getting so much sleep
[20:13] Lucinda Lavender: had a few around the wedding
[20:13] Paradise Tennant: ooo listens
[20:14] Lucinda Lavender: one where I was hopping from bed to bed and on each was a special necklace
[20:14] Lucinda Lavender: that was the morning of the wedding

[20:14] Paradise Tennant: smiels !!! you know I have made necklaces for all my firends going to have to make you one :)
[20:15] Lucinda Lavender: well I would dearly love that...and I will send you a bracelet
[20:17] Lucinda Lavender: I like to make bead bracelets that reflect the position of planets the day a friend is born
[20:17] Paradise Tennant: smiles !!!
[20:17] Lucinda Lavender: I :))
[20:17] Lucinda Lavender: for fun
[20:18] Paradise Tennant: hmm our individual alignments

[20:19] Lucinda Lavender: had one dream where I was telling teachers that we should notice two things that impresses us about an other teacher and share them...
[20:19] Lucinda Lavender: ideas bubbling up
[20:19] Lucinda Lavender: as we get ready to go back to school year
[20:20] Lucinda Lavender: as for the colors in the bracelet...the idea is that the colors reflect gifts we are give to be in life...
[20:20] Lucinda Lavender: we are being the gifts
[20:21] Lucinda Lavender: on a level of being rather than doing
[20:21] Paradise Tennant: oooooo
[20:22] Lucinda Lavender: and for me the gift I deliver is seeing the world as new in each moment
[20:22] Lucinda Lavender: i like that particularly
[20:22] Lucinda Lavender: fortunately
[20:22] Paradise Tennant: oooo
[20:22] Paradise Tennant: full of fresh possibilities
[20:22] Lucinda Lavender: yes
[20:22] Lucinda Lavender: especially with children
[20:23] Paradise Tennant: smiles
[20:23] Lucinda Lavender: in the world of learning

[20:23] Lucinda Lavender: should we go soon?
[20:23] Paradise Tennant: yes you should go to bed ?
[20:23] Lucinda Lavender: I don't want to keep you up too late...more you?
[20:23] Paradise Tennant: I should walk the dog :)
[20:24] Paradise Tennant: oh you know I am kind of reved has been a dizzy week happy to sit here if you have a few more minutes
[20:24] Lucinda Lavender: sure!
[20:24] Lucinda Lavender: coming into a quiet place can be hard after being revved
[20:25] Lucinda Lavender: I am resting my self as well
[20:25] Paradise Tennant: yes lots happening feel like a am in a blurry picture
[20:25] Paradise Tennant: lots of fast paced stuff going on
[20:25] Lucinda Lavender: decisions?
[20:25] Lucinda Lavender: communications...
[20:26] Paradise Tennant: events .. dead lines care consideration of alternatives all buisness reltated
[20:26] Lucinda Lavender: nodding
[20:26] Paradise Tennant: my home life is quiet calm .. but I really miss my mom
[20:26] Lucinda Lavender: yes...
[20:26] Paradise Tennant: it is hard
[20:26] Lucinda Lavender: yes!!!
[20:27] Lucinda Lavender: it takes time...
[20:27] Paradise Tennant: I have been crying in the mornings
[20:27] Lucinda Lavender: ah...
[20:27] Paradise Tennant: on my bike I look at both my dad and mom's urns and it seems so ...
[20:27] Lucinda Lavender: before you leave the house or as you travel...just curious
[20:27] Lucinda Lavender: sorry...please continue
[20:28] Paradise Tennant: I still want ot hug them and they are just ashes
[20:28] Lucinda Lavender: yes...
[20:28] Paradise Tennant: a very good meditation .. for the impermance of life

[20:29] Lucinda Lavender: this is probably the most intense example
[20:29] Lucinda Lavender: parents passing...
[20:29] Lucinda Lavender: I felt it strongly for 6 months
[20:29] Lucinda Lavender: every day
[20:29] Paradise Tennant: yesh
[20:30] Paradise Tennant: so hard
[20:30] Lucinda Lavender: and real in a different way than everything else
[20:30] Paradise Tennant: nods
[20:30] Paradise Tennant: yes
[20:31] Lucinda Lavender: they carried us in so many ways

[20:31] Paradise Tennant: my dad had such a gentle soul and a wonderful sense of humor ..
[20:31] Paradise Tennant: my mom was just so storng .. so brave
[20:31] Paradise Tennant: I cannnot fathom htem being gone really
[20:32] Paradise Tennant: it will take time
[20:32] Lucinda Lavender: yes

[20:33] Lucinda Lavender: finding the ways that they still seem near
[20:33] Paradise Tennant: lol
[20:33] Lucinda Lavender: like for me when I sing
[20:33] Paradise Tennant: I told you about my sweetie bracelet
[20:33] Lucinda Lavender: yes! sweetie...
[20:33] Lucinda Lavender: i do remember
[20:33] Paradise Tennant: cannot get more funny or gentle than that
[20:33] Lucinda Lavender: nope

[20:34] Paradise Tennant: you know my dad's recipe for all the ills of the world was a coke float
[20:34] Lucinda Lavender: you have to be open maybe...i wonder if all people feel or see that sort of thing
[20:34] Paradise Tennant: after his funeral my brother and I mad e huge coke floats
[20:34] Lucinda Lavender: :))
[20:34] Paradise Tennant: lol now they make me cry
[20:34] Lucinda Lavender: energy there
[20:35] Lucinda Lavender: what do I mean by energy?
[20:35] Paradise Tennant: he was so full of hope foll of the positive
[20:35] Lucinda Lavender: caffeine and sugar and remembrance of pleasant times

[20:35] Paradise Tennant: liek he could believe the best in you and just by the force of his will drag it out of you until you believed it too
[20:36] Lucinda Lavender: wow...amazing!
[20:36] Lucinda Lavender: powerful
[20:36] Paradise Tennant: I have never known anyone else that had that focus some days at work I try to quiet myself and think how he must of though to get his picture of people

[20:37] Paradise Tennant: he just bellieved
[20:37] Paradise Tennant: and because he believed so strongly
[20:37] Paradise Tennant: it alwasy came true
[20:37] Lucinda Lavender: certainly others were changed by seeing him
[20:37] Paradise Tennant: nods yes
[20:37] Lucinda Lavender: experiencing him
[20:37] Paradise Tennant: what a gift

[20:38] Paradise Tennant: to make others really see how they are for the best
[20:38] Lucinda Lavender: sounds like it cut through a lot of junk too
[20:38] Lucinda Lavender: a lot of other thoughts
[20:38] Paradise Tennant: oh yes he was expert at making everything easy
[20:38] Paradise Tennant: beacuse everythign is really easy
[20:38] Lucinda Lavender: brilliance
[20:38] Paradise Tennant: smiels
[20:39] Lucinda Lavender: shining
[20:39] Paradise Tennant: lol smiles even

[20:39] Lucinda Lavender: now...do you think you have had any dreams about their passing
[20:39] Paradise Tennant: noooo
[20:39] Paradise Tennant: none
[20:39] Paradise Tennant: though I think I have felt them both
[20:39] Lucinda Lavender: maybe will take some time
[20:39] Lucinda Lavender: i have had only two about my conductor
[20:40] Paradise Tennant: listens
[20:40] Lucinda Lavender: it may be that it is so highly charged
[20:40] Lucinda Lavender: presently
[20:40] Lucinda Lavender: and after time there will be more room
[20:40] Lucinda Lavender: for processing it

[20:41] Lucinda Lavender: I know that when I had dreams of special people that passed I made a sort of prayer for them in the dream
[20:41] Lucinda Lavender: a thankful one
[20:42] Lucinda Lavender: for all time
[20:42] Paradise Tennant: smiles yes

[20:43] Paradise Tennant: I try to socld mysefl because .. they are at peace and more comforatable and all this reaction is my wanting .. my missing ....
[20:43] Lucinda Lavender: nods...
[20:43] Paradise Tennant: scolding does not seem to stop; the blubbemg
[20:43] Lucinda Lavender: maybe the tears are a help tho
[20:44] Lucinda Lavender: clearing out something
[20:44] Paradise Tennant: nods yes ..
[20:44] Paradise Tennant: part of the passage

[20:45] Paradise Tennant: hard being a grown up :))() there definitely challenges :)) but so many brigh spots too :))'
[20:46] Lucinda Lavender: nods...yes! my friend who lost her son...has a box for the feelings...where she chooses to open to them or not..
[20:47] Paradise Tennant: hmmmm think losing a child must be so much harder
[20:47] Lucinda Lavender: yes
[20:47] Lucinda Lavender: i cannot imagine
[20:47] Paradise Tennant: it stretches you
[20:47] Paradise Tennant: lol
[20:48] Lucinda Lavender: and creates a whole new part
[20:48] Lucinda Lavender: that is seeing something one never prepared for
[20:48] Paradise Tennant: sometiems when work is really taxing i try to place myself in africa and imagine I am a mom watching her kids die of thirst .. and after being in that space for even a brief spell .. when I stop it is like there nothign in my life htat could compre everythign falls in to sharp relief
[20:49] Lucinda Lavender: i am sure it is excruciating tho
[20:49] Lucinda Lavender: ah...a spectrum to witness
[20:49] Paradise Tennant: maybe easier to belive that there is a sequel :)
[20:50] Lucinda Lavender: building a sequel
[20:50] Paradise Tennant: yse for those that have passed and we that remain

[20:51] Paradise Tennant: I still send love .. I think there is a multi dimensional aspect to love :)) or so I like to believe
[20:51] Lucinda Lavender: feeling comforted as the rebuilding begins
[20:51] Lucinda Lavender: yes...multidimensional

[20:52] Lucinda Lavender: never forget a dream where my mom asked if i needed an accompaniest
[20:52] Paradise Tennant: smiles !!!
[20:53] Paradise Tennant: thought that was an amazing .. one .. she is there to back you up to whatever song you want to play '
[20:53] Lucinda Lavender: hee hee yes!
[20:53] Lucinda Lavender: trust to that
[20:53] Lucinda Lavender: when they bring us into the world
[20:53] Lucinda Lavender: the song feeles like it begins
[20:54] Paradise Tennant: always thing trust is so important it ss so brave so essential .so much a componetn to life as is air
[20:54] Lucinda Lavender: trust yes
[20:55] Paradise Tennant: a basic building block of life
[20:55] Lucinda Lavender: glue
[20:55] Paradise Tennant: nods
[20:55] Lucinda Lavender: holding things together
[20:55] Paradise Tennant: making sense of the world
[20:56] Lucinda Lavender: our memory maybe can help keep trust going
[20:56] Lucinda Lavender: things keep appearing to change
[20:56] Paradise Tennant: lol yep
[20:57] Paradise Tennant: change is the only constant
[20:57] Lucinda Lavender: and it can feel like the rug is swerpt from under us
[20:57] Lucinda Lavender: swept
[20:58] Lucinda Lavender: but we as we are keep doing business with the world
[20:58] Paradise Tennant: lol we do
[20:58] Lucinda Lavender: consuming and producing
[20:58] Lucinda Lavender: an a variety of ways
[20:59] Paradise Tennant: we pay our bills take out the garbage , water the plants :) life as process
[20:59] Lucinda Lavender: breathe, pay attention, so many things
[21:00] Paradise Tennant: so much magic
[21:01] Lucinda Lavender: yes!

[21:01] Paradise Tennant: midnight I must be off to walk the dog and a bed :)) thank you for listening :)) for the companyy for the dreams :)) and those spectacular wedding pics :))
[21:02] Paradise Tennant: so much beauty in one day it left me breathless :))
[21:03] Lucinda Lavender: awww...you are so welcome and hank you!
[21:03] Lucinda Lavender: thank you
[21:03] Lucinda Lavender: thank you!
[21:04] Paradise Tennant: asmiles ... and wraps you in a big pink evelope of thank you s:))
[21:04] Lucinda Lavender: wonderful!
[21:04] Paradise Tennant: be well dream big !!!
[21:04] Lucinda Lavender: sends the same back to you
[21:05] Lucinda Lavender: ok!