2011.02.12 07:00 - Fear of being Open

The Guardian for this meeting was SophiaSharon Larnia. The comments are by SophiaSharon Larnia.

SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Korel :)
Korel Laloix: Bozho
Korel Laloix: Not a big group today.
Korel Laloix: Or is everyong fahionably late again?... grins
SophiaSharon Larnia: :) no, I came because no one was here... it's hard to say ^^ sleeping in maybe, depending on where youre from :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: I assume then youve been here before
SophiaSharon Larnia: nice to see you
Korel Laloix: I am sure someeone else will show up.
Korel Laloix smiles
Korel Laloix: I can't stay too long.. go for a run here shortly.
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles back :))
SophiaSharon Larnia: I see people running where i live, its 30 degrees outside, now thats dedication! lol
Korel Laloix: I dont run below freezing unless I get very restless and there is no wind.
Korel Laloix: But finding a time with no wind in OKlahoma is about impossible.
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes, understand the restless thing, i think
Korel Laloix: But then it does not get down that cold much either.
SophiaSharon Larnia: ha!
Korel Laloix: I soooo miss Florida.
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Arch :) good morning
SophiaSharon Larnia: I havent been to florida, but want to go there! :D
SophiaSharon Larnia: in years i mean
Korel Laloix: Used to live there..
SophiaSharon Larnia: I really like your profile Korel
Korel Laloix: OK... off to run..
Korel Laloix: THanks.
Korel Laloix: Still working on it.
SophiaSharon Larnia: haha have fun and stay warm!
Korel Laloix: New AV.
SophiaSharon Larnia: :))
SophiaSharon Larnia: see you later
Korel Laloix: My old one is Freud Jungsten if you want to look her up.
SophiaSharon Larnia: nods, thank you!
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Archie
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi ***, I didn't see you over there :)
Archmage Atlantis: Hi, Sophia
Alfred Kelberry: meep! :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Boxy :) Not so boxy today!!
Archmage Atlantis: Meep to you too Mr. Boxy
SophiaSharon Larnia: meep :)
Alfred Kelberry: human self today :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: how do you feel? grins
SophiaSharon Larnia: hehe
Alfred Kelberry: i missed this av :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: i did too, although i like boxy!! :D
Alfred Kelberry: yes, boxy is a charmer :) he's resting in the inventory :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: he deserves a nap once and a while!
SophiaSharon Larnia: ;p
Alfred Kelberry: charging maybe :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: hehe
Archmage Atlantis: We all change, even when we get old

--BELL--

Alfred Kelberry: nice ponytail, sophia :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: thank you :) and your are carrying flowers? :)
Alfred Kelberry: yep... tulips :)
Alfred Kelberry: i missed their glow as well :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: a harbinger of spring
SophiaSharon Larnia: bring more :D
Alfred Kelberry: "harbinger" - nice word :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: had to look up the spelling
SophiaSharon Larnia: giggles
Alfred Kelberry: no, these are special and only kind. a gift from a friend.
SophiaSharon Larnia: nice
SophiaSharon Larnia: this is Berts session, i guess he couldnt stay online
Alfred Kelberry: i never know whose session it is :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: its on the wiki, you prob know that tho
Alfred Kelberry: i mean, it doesn't seem important :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: no it isnt
SophiaSharon Larnia: i just looked it up
Alfred Kelberry: wait, i think i saw korel
SophiaSharon Larnia: she was here and left :)
Alfred Kelberry: a quick visit
Archmage Atlantis: Yes she was
Alfred Kelberry: sophia, where is your... neko girl? :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: we're allowed 42 groups in sl now. guess i can join the friends of pab group
SophiaSharon Larnia: i didnt know where she went
Archmage Atlantis: What I love about PaB is that we all get to come as and when we are
Archmage Atlantis: And we are all welcomed back
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
Archmage Atlantis: even as different
Alfred Kelberry: meep!
Alfred Kelberry: i like two things about pab: openness and kindness
Alfred Kelberry: they make a pleasant experience
Alfred Kelberry: ah, you have a tail :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
Alfred Kelberry: i've seen it moving :)
Alfred Kelberry: so you're still a neko girl :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: it gave me a warning as a secondary attachment i hope its not in the air hahah
Alfred Kelberry: no, it's... in the right spot :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: laughs
SophiaSharon Larnia: i miss play as being, but sometimes i have nothing to say
Alfred Kelberry: ommmm :)
Archmage Atlantis: Sitting in silence is sometimes saying
SophiaSharon Larnia: i want to listen, but everyone listening makes a quiet session ha!
SophiaSharon Larnia: ommmmmm ^^
Alfred Kelberry: ^=^
SophiaSharon Larnia: or what i have to say is wrapped up in so many filters that it comes out all garbled
Alfred Kelberry: sophia's encoder :)
Archmage Atlantis: I wish I could play the Sanscrit chant I love so much......it is even better (for me) than Ohmmmm
SophiaSharon Larnia: i love chants dearly too, but save a space for them, i tend to trance pretty easily
Alfred Kelberry: zen does a nice chant in voice
SophiaSharon Larnia: nice
Alfred Kelberry: mmm, trance :)
Archmage Atlantis: Interesting.....I never trance
SophiaSharon Larnia: more like blank
Alfred Kelberry: ok, let's chant and put sophia in trance! :)
Archmage Atlantis: Well, not in SL
SophiaSharon Larnia: hehe
SophiaSharon Larnia: its good to reduce anxiety, but not that great for introspection, in my experience
SophiaSharon Larnia: sometimes introspection is the last thing i need
SophiaSharon Larnia: well, sounded weird, hope you know what i meant
SophiaSharon Larnia: lol
Archmage Atlantis: So, in my thought, that is good, SS
SophiaSharon Larnia: it frightens me tho

--BELL--

Archmage Atlantis: Wow, this will sound weird         (so sorry Arch!!! You were typing and I talked over you :(  )
SophiaSharon Larnia: there have been times when it occured to me, like from far away, that if i wanted to, I could make my heart stop
Archmage Atlantis: But we are protected
SophiaSharon Larnia: face gets numb
Archmage Atlantis: Loved
Archmage Atlantis: We only have to understand to accept it
SophiaSharon Larnia: its seems like a decision to wake up
Archmage Atlantis: In spite of our minds
SophiaSharon Larnia: so generally stay away from chants due to ambivelence on waking up lol
Archmage Atlantis: No chants here......so a safe place
SophiaSharon Larnia: i promised myself Id 'take off the gloves' on saying what i feel in pab sessions, i hope that wasnt too strange lol
Archmage Atlantis: OMG, Sophia......I say much stanger things all the time
SophiaSharon Larnia: hehehe
Archmage Atlantis: That was healthy for you to say
SophiaSharon Larnia: what i have found out, that taking off the gloves also enables a lot of other feelings to be verbalized, in real life, so wonder if I should maybe put them back on! lol
Archmage Atlantis: Gloves are ok.....they protect us when we need protecting
Archmage Atlantis: As long as we learn
SophiaSharon Larnia: *ding* coffees done! brb
Archmage Atlantis: :)
Archmage Atlantis: Are u ok Alfie?
SophiaSharon Larnia: back :)
Archmage Atlantis: Hi Sohpia
SophiaSharon Larnia: the retreat starts today
SophiaSharon Larnia: yay :)
Archmage Atlantis: (bad spelling)
SophiaSharon Larnia: np!!
SophiaSharon Larnia: i like when its spelled shopia makes me laugh
Archmage Atlantis: Yes, I am looking forward to the retreat, and afraid of it at the same time
SophiaSharon Larnia: me too
Alfred Kelberry: hi, shopia :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: :D
SophiaSharon Larnia: hahah
Alfred Kelberry: :P
Alfred Kelberry: archy, rl retreat?
Archmage Atlantis: For me, sl and rl are all l
Archmage Atlantis: So in a sense, yes
Alfred Kelberry: what are you afraid of?
Archmage Atlantis: I am, as open as I am, afraid of being too open for others to accept
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
SophiaSharon Larnia: that about covers it :D
Alfred Kelberry: we're all afraid of it
SophiaSharon Larnia: thinking... :))
Alfred Kelberry: um, except sophia :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes, putting myself in the place of other, see that clearly
Alfred Kelberry: :)
Archmage Atlantis: I have a rental property in Hikari, I need to go there for the minutes before the retreat, and hear the sanscrit chant Moon Fargis found .....I do not know why, but it calms me
SophiaSharon Larnia: :D
SophiaSharon Larnia: see you in a bit Arch

--BELL--

Alfred Kelberry: corel draw! :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: wb Korel!
SophiaSharon Larnia: fast run! haha
Alfred Kelberry: meep!
Korel Laloix: My stepdad called and said it was too icy.
Alfred Kelberry: tired? :)
Korel Laloix: I agree.
SophiaSharon Larnia: oooh yes
Alfred Kelberry: ah
Alfred Kelberry: icy
Korel Laloix: We try to run on Saturday together.
SophiaSharon Larnia: how nice!
Alfred Kelberry: you could go skiing instead :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: sking is harder than running lol
SophiaSharon Larnia: at east for me
Korel Laloix: I don't do anything deliberately involving ice.
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
Korel Laloix: I hate snow.
SophiaSharon Larnia: bye for now Boxy and Korel! have to go ^^
Alfred Kelberry: ice-cream? :)
Korel Laloix: Skiing is meant for water.
Alfred Kelberry: bye, shopia :P
SophiaSharon Larnia: hehe :P
Korel Laloix: I am lactose intollerant..... so not that either... lol
SophiaSharon Larnia: waves
Korel Laloix: CIao bella.
Alfred Kelberry: how do you know?
Korel Laloix: How do I know what?
Alfred Kelberry: lactose
Korel Laloix: Well... it is very heriditary for First Americans
Korel Laloix: And I have all the classic issues.
Alfred Kelberry: ah
Korel Laloix: Mainly tummy aches and bad gas after I have it.
Alfred Kelberry: ouch
Alfred Kelberry: is there lactose free ice cream?
Korel Laloix: Not so bad for me usually.
Korel Laloix: But very bad for those around me.
Korel Laloix: There is lactose free stuff but it is not worth eating....
Alfred Kelberry: not tasty? :)
Korel Laloix: No... and leaves a bad film on you teeth...
Korel Laloix: And silly sweet.
Alfred Kelberry: meh
Korel Laloix: When I want mild... I usually use almond milk.
Korel Laloix: It is OK.
Korel Laloix: But not the real think.
Korel Laloix: thing
Korel Laloix: Short session today.
Korel Laloix: And still recording.
Korel Laloix: Did you actually discuss anything?
Alfred Kelberry: um, sorry
Korel Laloix: No worries.
Alfred Kelberry: a few things
Alfred Kelberry: coming sl retreat and fear of being open
Korel Laloix: Fear of being open?
Korel Laloix: Where is the retreat?
Alfred Kelberry: um... there's a place in sl
Alfred Kelberry: fear to open oneself to a point that it may not be accepted by others as archy put it
Korel Laloix: I understand that bit.
Korel Laloix: I had a pretty horrific time of it as a little girl and it makes a lot of people uncomfortable to hear about it.
Korel Laloix: And I dont like to talk about it sometiems as well as people think I am just after attention.

--BELL--

Alfred Kelberry: sl retreat may be a good place for that
Alfred Kelberry: you should ask bruce. he's organazing it.
Korel Laloix: Do you know when and where? Or is that known.
Alfred Kelberry: nope
Alfred Kelberry: i'm not sure if the date is set or not
Korel Laloix: OK
Korel Laloix: OK... going to go for a shop... ciao