2013.01.18 _ 03

Yesterday the 'good care' was most manifest in the flowing with emotion, which turned out to be the well of barely differentiated sadness and loss triggered by my colleagues death (climbing accident). That unnamed dark well of emotion seemed to lead to the heart of the truth of the moment and as such to openness and awe.

::: On carousel music
::: Revolving like a dervish
::: Tingles all over

Meditated in the evening, just before going to bed. Completely different energy than in the morning. It felt heavy more than sleepy.

My arm shook badly. I know this happens when I am relaxed, but it was very distracting. I made them a bit heavier, imagining metal balls hanging from my fingers. This quieted the shaking, but it did make me wonder if I wasn't being to active, too unaccepting. I think it isn't, I think there is always a balance to be found.

Room in agenda for rainbow kale



(sorry to read of your loss, Maxine *)

The day was very busy - had lots admin to do. The rush during the day made it difficult to focus on my daily points.

Metta time : Again I found it hard to find calm moments during the day - I decided to log into SL to do metta next to the pagoda. The surroundings do create a peaceful mood that helped a lot.

Quiet time with trees and stars - I didn't do well with this today - lets see what tomorrow brings - too much was going on all day.

South Africa - a moment of ponder, thanks and musings : Now that I have started the metta meditation - I focus more and more on kindness and what it means in a country like South Africa. Today I found myself pondering the importance of loving kindness in the daily lives of people I know here - compared to Hungary - here people are more traumatized and still live in fear of each other - the presence of kindness in our daily lives here - in a very tangible way - would make such a difference.

Sorry to hear about your colleague, Maxine. I know that loss is always hungry, always looking to eat away at you.

Body: Simple food. Simple cooking.

Mind: I found the record of an old game of mine, from 7 years ago. The bad news is that it was really quite bad. The good news is that it wouldn't take much to improve it!

Spirit: In dialogue with my teacher again. The project has become more comprehensive. So much to do. I must finish the reread and restart!

Sorry for you loss, Maxine. I have lost far too many friends and family this past year. Heart weighs heavy with you.

Standing meditation for 5 minutes tonight, counted deep breathes tonight, usually I loose count and just keep going, Tonight I stopped at 50 breaths, quite content.

Tai Chi tonight with Fubu for the first and second parts of the form, weaving between my feet as I moved around the room, finished just before midnight, a good time to end a good day.

Missed a day, lost it to flying, timezone change (shortened day), napping and normal sleep.

(((Maxine))) sorry to hear of your loss.

{ ... } will continue with this, reading ... but questioning, why to record in this log?

maxine: sorry for your loss.