2013.02.12 _ 28

I've decided to focus on interruption for the next few days. It seems to me at least three kinds of interruption are important in meditation. First, the interruption of daily activity to start mediating. Second, the interruption of thought and emotions to go back to the technique that is such a natural part of meditation. And third, the possible interruption of mediation by other things happening (crying children, phoning husbands...). It seems I could handle all of these more gracefully, accepting, even appreciating. And it has to start with noticing what happens.

Meditated in the morning. This lovely story about interruption itself was quite difficult to interrupt. I was about halfway before I managed to relax my shoulders. Still, it feels good to take a conscious look at this particular part of (my) mind. edited 08:59, 12 Feb 2013

did a half hour this time instead of 20 min, and cross-legged instead of sitting up,

seemed like a lot longer, had to untense my muscles a couple times, shift my foot once to get the circulation going, mind wandered a bit but not too bad, went back and forth between "daydreaming" casual body scans and nothing, jumped when the radio came on, even though it was rather soothing music,

realized I am not giving myself "return" time when I am "done. edited 17:05, 12 Feb 2013

Grateful for my "safe place"

car window reflection, evoking sudden grace

::: Purring like a cat
::: Drifting into slumberland
::: Blissful voyager

fasnachts, Girl Scout Cookies and tea.... oh my

A new word! (fasnacht) Fascinating etymology. Live and learn. Always. Thank you Steve.

Did a little chess study. Listened to a friend's true tale of near death by fireball in a crashed helicopter. Watched the TED vulnerability talk. (Life needn't be that complicated. Wholeheartedness is all it seems to need.) Installed a new toaster! Otherwise, just very very tired today.

Tried sitting on a cushion in the living room today - I'm not sure for how long. I watched the competition between my thoughts (rehearsing arguments on the subject of friendship) and my emotions flooding through my body. I wasn't sure what to do with them but I noticed they occasionally worked together- the thoughts giving rise to emotions and vice versa. Somewhere outside the battle, I heard my breath.

Watched an old U Tube video with Jon Kabat Zin on mindfulness;when I meditate I will try to pay attention to all my senses in order to get to know me better -- to get "intimate with myself" as JKZ says. How uncomfortable and kinky that sounds! edited 06:59, 13 Feb 2013

Rolling through a busy day with attention given to many different external and internal voices; the surprising thing was that it was not taxing, but energizing to do so. Maybe the pivot point was a quiet trust in the resources needed for such attention; many times I can feel daunted by 'all the demands' rather than grateful for 'all the privilege'. Much to muse about...