2013.02.07 _ 23

Sat with Mr. Kornfeld again before going to work. This might be a time that works better for me, than trying to fit it into the evening. (Kabatt Zinn actually, why do I persist in calling him Kornfeld?)

That was very pleasant, the monkeys were active as usual but didn't really distract me. I kept thinking about our possible next project, visualizing the site (green field with trees and a large pond). I'll call this "nature meditation" rather than "thinking about work". edited 08:01, 7 Feb 2013

Meditated in the morning. Drop anything with words. Align the bones, mainly spine and shoulder. Drop words. About a minute of Tonglen when I saw someone cycle by over the very slippery road. Drop words again. Drop waiting for the gong.

To Druth: meditating through personal pain and illness is harder than when everything goes smoothly, I know. Myself, I'm only now getting back into some kind of systematical practice, after almost a year. Still, this is the time when you need it most too.

Wol: I don't know about Kabat-Zinn, but I do like Kornfield. :) Of course if you want to see both together, you could look places like here: http://vimeo.com/21141685

Holding at 273 pounds. Which is good. The hold point gets lower week by week, which is also good. Why does the number 273 sound familiar? Hmm... maybe because -273C is Absolute Zero. Zero weight loss? Zero health problems? Zero attachment? Absolutely! ;-)

I have surgery tomorrow. No eating after 7am. No idea how (or even if) it will affect my 99 day work, or any updates written here. but I'd better ensure this morning's 7am PaB log is written up today - while I still can!

Tried to ignore the monkeys as I sat this morning but they ran rampant. Peace is, indeed, fleeting and it seems I need to begin from a place of peace in order to get to a deeper peace, empty of thought monkeys. I find it easier to focus my mind on one subject, often inquiring deeper and deeper into the cause of pain, rather than trying to eliminate thoughts all together.

I hope your surgery goes smoothly Storm; no need to rush to get back here. Just think what you wanted to say and let that be enough. edited 18:11, 7 Feb 2013

deeply splintered pattern of anger through the life; seeing and seeing and seeing is enough



(Wishing you a speedy recovery Storm!) edited 18:56, 7 Feb 2013

Grateful for an awesome family dr.


(Good luck Storm. Hope all goes well) edited 20:30, 7 Feb 2013

7am Storm? they made me fast since midnight for a surgery at 2pm! lol
should help with the weightloss, I lost 4 pounds in one day :)
good luck ((Storm))

did my meditation lying down again, too painful to sit up right now (comes and goes) which makes focusing harder, since my body says "Oh great, we get to sleep!"

pulled the first 7 min listening to Samud's video, which made that part easy (I need a 20min version of it :) ), after that I was all over images and daydreaming,

ah well, nobody is keeping score

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Indios by Linda Hogan

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Came into work and did a very sort meditation followed by Chi Gong for immune systems and general stretching, worked on "Teacup" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5YHevGhX1Q followed by "Feed the Dragon" no video available iwhich can be done together with Tea Cup resulting in a mind-scrambling experience similar to "pat your head and rub your belly" on steroids.

::: Overwhelming tides
::: Alarm-clock tickling the beast
::: Bringing back stillness

Really thought there would be a comment today, but no. Nothing yesterday either.

1.d4 Nf6 2.Bg5 Ne4 3.Bf4 c5 4.f3 Qa5+

When is the end of an Opening? If you don't know the measure of begin to end, how can you state when the opening has ended? No need to answer, it is rhetorical (or is it? (maybe))

Storm, you carry all our warmest, deepest wishes for tomorrow.

Deep warm thoughts for all those on the project who seem to be struggling or in pain. It is nice to feel the attentiveness of the community here.

While feeling a deep fatigue much of the day, toward late afternoon I perk up and feel energized toward the internal care I am striving for; deeply grateful for this surge. edited 06:33, 8 Feb 2013