2013.01.24 _ 09

::: A visitation
::: Golden mare with flaxen mane
::: Echoes from stardust edited 15:39, 24 Jan 2013

healing the heart of trauma and dissociation (forgash + copeley)
not for happiness (dzongsar jamyang khyentse)

Meditated in the evening. Most of the time relaxing/straightening to the rhythm of the breath, some excursions to my eyes, the soles of my feet, and my shoulders, as they asked for some attention.

My resolution kill both stories and waiting immediately worked nicely, I cut through them more resolutely than usual. Still plenty of room for improvement though.

He stubbornly takes his stand, hiding under the table.

I'm here :)
today's gratitude
to be here sharing this place with you all
thank you edited 22:12, 24 Jan 2013

did concentrated awareness cat petting again, planned 20min but kitty could only take 5 lol
experimenting with mantras

I'm back. Justifying to myself that I can be here because of my silly persimmon. They are really hard to paint. I wonder whether I'm not looking hard enough or whether I should stop looking hard at all.
Welcome Cat! edited 00:54, 25 Jan 2013

Lost track of the time (enthusiasm is a fine thing) and forgot to sit until I was already well late for bed. Considered giving myself permission to take a day off, and had actually done so when I decided that would be unworthy. So here I am, about to do ten minutes of monkey-ignoring in my pyjamas. Wish me well.

5 minutes of standing meditations (not much of an improvement)

15 minutes of Chi Gong doing a variety of moves including 100 of the stretchy things that I do not know the name of, which, if you do 1000 a day, you are supposed to provide for you to live forever, however you have no day if you do 1000 a day, I suppose it is suppose to assist in your long term health. Then a bit of join stimulation and stretching.

!7 minute of Tai Chi, cat only participated in the second half of the second part, then sat in front of me looking to the side the rest of the time.

Welcome Cat!!! edited 03:19, 25 Jan 2013

Body: Holding my weight loss at 40 lbs. Why no more at the moment? After all it would be nice to keep on going, maybe even another 30 lbs. It happens like that from time to time for reasons unknown. Human bodies are funny things. It would be tempting to say, "Well that seems to be it. So back to eating as before." But one thing I know: if I continue the way that brought me this far, it will start dropping off again.

Late in the day I come to sit and write. Like Wol I half think of skipping the day...but I would feel I was turning my back on the steady self care I am seeking. And like Storm I wonder if this is it? Will there be no more results? It is easy to whisper to him that the body has its own unique waterweight equilibrium when we lose weight; it can seem stubborn, as Eliza writes 'stubbornly taking its stand...'. Hoping my smile and nod at good friends helps me feel a bit more steadfast, aware that the body, the heart and soul may have its own ways...'under the table'.

recording in retrospect: Conversations with Kafka late at night ... lends well to falling ...zzzz