2013.01.20 _ 05

It really is lovely to read everyone's posting, sort of like nestling in with others, appreciating the daily efforts toward this project, glimpses of little intimacies -- warm sharings all. And Eden's poetics whisperings...all of this so subtly beautiful.

Trying to understand why it is so difficult for me to finish a paper about the interface between our 'personal reality' born of our human capacities and vulnerability and that of the wider, less personal real. I seem to wander in mind, get sleepy, restless, wanting to do most anything else :) ! Like a kid who does not want to do her homework. Not sure what this restless lassitude is, but feel somewhere that it is a wordless 'dream' about the topic. Feels like I have lost that 'embrace with care'...will try to 'wake up' enough to access clearer thoughts or maybe informing dreams...

Meditated in the evening. In a different room that felt less spacious than the living room. My body felt pretty heavy, and I was almost at the end of my ten minutes when I remembered that directing my eyes to a spot right in front of them helps focus the mind.

Trying not to judge my meditation as "good" or "bad". Every day has its own energy, and seriously working on getting in touch with that is enough.

::: Birds chirping with joy
::: Hypnagogic veil tearing
::: Into a new day

Its not so easy getting used to new daily tasks like the ones I chose ... takes time for it to melt into daily life.

Metta time : I was researching metta a bit today and did metta with some I found on youtube, great to see metta related videos.

Quiet time with trees and stars : Nice time outside this afternoon.

South Africa - a moment of ponder, thanks and musings :
Not much comes to mind, may be tomorrow.

Spark of divine in a starry starry day. edited 01:43, 21 Jan 2013

Tried to sit with Bertam and the crew at Perfect Paradise in SL but dozed off twice during the ten minutes. Does that count? The intention was there, and I actually got down on my butt to do it, so I will say that it does.

instead of trying to concentrate on breathing or mantras I just sat in darkness and covered my eyes with my hands, a few images came up but no real thoughts, it was kind of soothing, I finally gave up and checked the clock and found that it was 21 minutes and I'd forgotten to switch the alarm on after setting it

Cat was outside tonight, so no Tai Chi competition for foot space tonight. Spend only 2:30 in meditation tonight followed by about 7 minutes of Qui Gong exercises focusing on immune systems and knees again. Both long for attention. Tai Chi was a bit choppy tonight (14 minutes), breath was nice and uniform but balance was off, possibly the lateness of the day. Did additional meditation before this week's iChing reading. Readings were Kui-Diversity and Sun-Decreasing. edited 05:02, 21 Jan 2013

Body: Weight is the same, at 275 lbs. This is good. Wasn't expecting a further loss so soon but nice to see I maintained the new low.

Mind: I found an old book in my library that dealt with a particular opening but that concentrated on how it led into the middle game and how both players might then proceed (with concrete examples). Although I do need to concentrate mostly on the middle game, if I spend any time on openings at all, this is the kind of approach that would seem more productive.

Spirit: Went to a funeral today... or "memorial service" I think the preferred local definition is. This was for a 94 year old gentleman who had welcomed us when I immigrated into the US in 2009 and who had invited us to join his family celebrations for the last four Thanksgivings, we being the only non-family members there. He even had us join the family tradition of reading "turkey notes" before the feast, composing 8 line poems for us both to read each time. I was quite surprised at the depth of the service today and what I learned about him, his family and also about myself as a result. It's also good to have a reminder, a perspective of what's really important in life, and a gentle nudge about what I'm spending my time doing. If death is part of life, then memory is also part of life. And if we live on in others' memories, how would we like to appear there?

yoga rahasya