2013.04.10 _ 85

Meditated in the evening.

My body feels more normal again.

I asked my husband to be the timer for the meditation. He always makes it longer than I ask, and I know that, and still I always get agitated in those last few minutes. More things to notice.

Sometimes it is hard to acknowledge our wrongs, even more so when the wrongs were committed in ignorance of the pain caused. It is hard to acknowledge that at one time I was emotionally abusive like my mother. I aknowledge these things, awareness means change. Fingernail length by fingernail length change is happening. I refuse to continue the cycle of abuse, I will make changes in my life to be a better person. I am making those changes day by day. Moment by moment I WILL change and I will become something more than I was

Catrina that is so open and profound. Thank you for sharing that... a very hard and shocking thing to see and yet such a gift.

::: Distant trains whistle
::: Under a clear starry sky
::: Filled with mysteries edited 03:48, 11 Apr 2013

Yes, difficult but such important work, Catrina. We each have our dark or shadowy aspects, difficult to acknowledge clearly. The most difficult part for me is that sometimes brutal honesty we must have with ourselves. Honesty takes courage.