2010.03.01 07:00 - Diving into Energies, Extreme and Otherwise

The Guardian for this meeting was Eliza Madrigal, filling in for Eden Haiku while traipsing around India. ;-) The comments are by Eliza Madrigal, who was joined first by Fael, then by Pema and Calvino for a bit, with Fael, Bowie, and I closing out the session . :)

Fael and I began with a discussion of glasses, which led into a discussion of seeing deep emotions...

Fael Illyar: meep! :)
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Fael :)) Meep!
Fael Illyar: Hi Eliza :)
Eliza Madrigal: Nice to see you... was just reading your Sunday morning session....
Eliza Madrigal: about meep and other languages :)
Fael Illyar smiles.
Fael Illyar: you found glasses :)
Eliza Madrigal: Yes :) Wol is a dear!
Fael Illyar: I used glasses for a couple of weeks :)
Eliza Madrigal: I'm told that now I 'should' be wearing glasses in RL....
Eliza Madrigal: but I have a bump on my nose which makes them uncomfortable... Funny that sunglasses aren't. :)
Fael Illyar: I put them on, loved them, used them for two weeks, somehow realized after that, that I didn't want to wear them.
Fael Illyar: heh :)
Eliza Madrigal: Got it out of your system then
Fael Illyar: these were the ones I used I think :)
Fael Illyar: uh, taking a while to rez :)
Eliza Madrigal: Oh! those are Great
Eliza Madrigal: I see them fine... red
Fael Illyar: they're colorchange :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Fael Illyar: I click them and choose color
Eliza Madrigal: Ah, like many of your gadgets
Fael Illyar: but I rarely used them in other colors than red

The Worlds and Diving In...

Eliza Madrigal: So tell me what else is happening with you and the worlds?
Fael Illyar: worlds?
Eliza Madrigal: :) so many little worlds within SL, and RL...
Eliza Madrigal: bubbles
Fael Illyar: oh right :)
Fael Illyar: hmm... on one hand not much, on other hand, quite a bit :)
Fael Illyar: I've found some anger, perhaps even hatred, bubbling up lately.
Eliza Madrigal: hatred?
--BELL--
Fael Illyar: Yes, I'm not sure where it came from exactly, though.
Eliza Madrigal: So you don't identify it with one time or person or situation exactly...
Eliza Madrigal: just sense that it is coming up to be seen.. maybe let go?
Fael Illyar: no... or well, many were in my mind briefly while it was happening.
Fael Illyar: nothing I could call hatred in a couple of days now though
Fael Illyar: but anger yes
Eliza Madrigal nods... I think I understand a little of what you mean... when emotions come they often come in a bundle

Fael Illyar: and yes, it does feel like letting go
Fael Illyar: was a particular fear that I reacted in a quite different way this time.
Fael Illyar: instead of hoping it would end, I went to lie down on my bed and dived into it.
Eliza Madrigal: !
Fael Illyar: was quite a rough ride :)

Eliza Madrigal: yes it sounds that way...
Fael Illyar: thankfully, I only had my gerbils scared during it.
Fael Illyar: no-one else would know if I didn't speak of it

Fael was patient and a good sport with my questions. :) Subtle distinctions can be useful to See, too...

Eliza Madrigal: So you dove into it and then what.... just began to look?
Fael Illyar: I dove into it and observed, listened, let things things happen.
Eliza Madrigal: while not stopping the emotion from surfacing... ?
Fael Illyar: yes
Fael Illyar: by the way, I watched this interesting video series (3 parts) a couple of days ago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1Cwp...feature=digest
Eliza Madrigal: and then you begin to see the components perhaps... allow a little space in...?
Fael Illyar: I feel many things make more sense now :)
Eliza Madrigal: Ah, clicking....
Eliza Madrigal: I'll save this to desktop to look at later
Fael Illyar: This particular video is titled Spiritual Awakening vs. Bipolar Disorder
Eliza Madrigal: Vs?
Eliza Madrigal: How interesting

Eliza Madrigal: Is that because when one dives into spiritual paths it can often feel disorienting.... I wonder
Eliza Madrigal: it redefines and undefines so many things that before seemed given
Eliza Madrigal: and one has to get comfortable with a bit of confusion :)
Fael Illyar: yes, quite so :)
Eliza Madrigal: There's a lojong slogan that goes "Don't worry, there is nothing real about your confusion" hehehe
Fael Illyar smiles 'I like that.'
Eliza Madrigal: Because I guess the tendency is to close the door when it shows up
Fael Illyar: yep :)
Eliza Madrigal: its the edge... a place of potential
Fael Illyar: these are actually topics spoken of in the video :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)

Eliza Madrigal: I think SL gives us tools to see some of this more easily.... we're used to seeing roles and compartments and components...
Eliza Madrigal: AND that they aren't solid
Fael Illyar: Yep :)
Fael Illyar: SL is very useful for that :)
Eliza Madrigal: Which doesn't mean it doesn't take real bravery to, as you said, dive in... when confusions arise
Eliza Madrigal: going INTO what scares us takes courage
Fael Illyar: you mean to say it does take real bravery :)
Eliza Madrigal: haha, yes
Eliza Madrigal: wait... no...
Eliza Madrigal: I had a screwy sentence...
Eliza Madrigal: double negative
Eliza Madrigal: :)

:) I do keep asking, don't I ...

There is a bit of detangling going on perhaps...

Eliza Madrigal: I'm still curious about your process..
Fael Illyar: in what way?
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal: When the emotion arose, did staying with it/in it allow you to begin to sort through things... were you doing something to work with it, or seeing what course it was taking....? Its a distinction I've been working with a little...
Fael Illyar: my head was, putting it lightly, noisy :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eliza Madrigal: In both RL and SL, I seem to come across as a calm person... even... I can tell you though, that to my perception I have extremes...
Eliza Madrigal: and when in one I can almost not see the other
Eliza Madrigal: but awarenesss is even....
Eliza Madrigal: and when that is there, amidst the extremes... its like... hm... it doesn't matter...
Fael Illyar: That's how people tend to describe me too. Calm
Eliza Madrigal: still waters...
Eliza Madrigal: I remember when I first was getting to know my inlaws... a few years went by and I heard them ask "Does she EVER get angry?"
Eliza Madrigal: I thought "WHAT?!" I'm angry now! :)) hehehe
Fael Illyar: oh yes, there was one person I lived with one summer who at the end of it openly marveled that I never get angry.
Fael Illyar: apparently, many things she had done had been to see if she could get me angry.
Eliza Madrigal: Oh My
Eliza Madrigal: The anger being there though... it prob shows up in other places...
Eliza Madrigal: I know for me that's the case... used to feel a little like the girl in that terrible movie 'firestarter"
Fael Illyar: yes, my anger doesn't show up in the usual places.
Eliza Madrigal: Getting a bit of space in it has to help... let the light in, as it were
Eliza Madrigal: just let it come up and be seen and settle...
Eliza Madrigal: dissipate

Eliza Madrigal: funny how big dramatic things can be resolved quietly... and I suppose visa versa
Fael Illyar: yes, anything can be made drama of.

Enter Pema, and in a few moments, Calvino who is staying with Pema at Princeton... 

From bubbles to waves...

Eliza Madrigal: You know, the way things come up in waves within PaB is very interesting...
Fael Illyar: waves?
Eliza Madrigal: so much so that now sometimes when I am struck by a strange emotion... I wonder if its mine...
Pema Pera: thanks, Eliza, I'm up to speed now :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Pema Pera: yes, we do seem to resonate, synchronize, with each other sometimes . . .
Fael Illyar: yes :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes... waves of one person noticing and working with something... and another doing so but not mentioning it.. mirrors, parallels...
Eliza Madrigal: Its wild :)
Eliza Madrigal: Wild Kingdom
Eliza Madrigal: hehe
Fael Illyar: yes, I was away for a while and I come back and the talk is about the subjects I've been working on myself elsewhere :)
Pema Pera: :)
Eliza Madrigal: :) yes

   

   

Memories of Princeton...

Eliza Madrigal: And you Pema... What are you up to this morning?
Pema Pera: I just had a cup of coffee with Calvino
Pema Pera: in RL
Pema Pera: he is next door, in his office
Eliza Madrigal: Ah!
Pema Pera: and is likely to come in soon too :)
Fael Illyar smiles.
Pema Pera: the same office that Fael used
Fael Illyar: I figured :)
Eliza Madrigal: Well, quick... before he gets here tell us all about him...
Eliza Madrigal: hahha
Pema Pera: and you can picture the setting too, Eliza!
Pema Pera: from your visit in November
Eliza Madrigal: Yes :)
Eliza Madrigal: So he arrived today?
Pema Pera: yesterday evening
Pema Pera: he'll be here for two weeks
Eliza Madrigal: long stretch...
Pema Pera: yes, but a good chance to talk about various things, including phenomenology and such
Fael Illyar: Hi Cal :)
Pema Pera: Fael was here for two weeks too, I believe
Pema Pera: hi again Calvino!
Eliza Madrigal nods.. yes sounds interesting!
Fael Illyar: Yes, two weeks it was :)
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Cal :)
Fael Illyar: I really liked it there :)
Calvino Rabeni: Hello ereryone :)
Fael Illyar: It's a very nice institute :)
Eliza Madrigal: Pema was telling us you shared coffee this morning and will spend a few weeks together....
Eliza Madrigal: How lovely :)
Eliza Madrigal: (like your tag)
Calvino Rabeni: Yes :)
Calvino Rabeni: The tag is the start of the quote from the Malta retreat meeting place
Eliza Madrigal: Maybe after you two might have a phenomenology theme or two ....?

Pema Pera: Just after Fael had arrived, Adams came by, and then Adams and Fael explained SL to Bleu and TH and others, who were also visiting me in RL -- one and a half year ago -- small world(s) ; to make a connection with what Eliza mentioned to Fael early in this session!
Eliza Madrigal: Yes :) I have that quote on my 'field of infinite possibilities' board :))
Fael Illyar: I've met Bleu?
Eliza Madrigal: Oh wow...
Pema Pera: yes, remember the Phoenix group?
Fael Illyar: Oh :)
Pema Pera: in the "oval office"
Fael Illyar: Yes, I do remember them
Pema Pera: it was led by TH and Bleu
Pema Pera: so there is a kind of time wrap here, with Bleu recently joining PaB !
Eliza Madrigal: I took a look at the Spirit of the Senses site the other day... quite impressive
Fael Illyar: Is Bleu the woman who made most of the questions?
Pema Pera: yes!
Fael Illyar: Ah, I was hoping I'd see her in SL sometime :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Pema Pera: which questions, Fael?
Pema Pera: oh, in RL you meant?
Pema Pera: one and a half years ago?
Fael Illyar: yes
Pema Pera: ah, now that I don't remember :)
Fael Illyar: oh well :)
Pema Pera: we can ask Bleu here in SL to see whether she remembers!
Fael Illyar: one of the group was especially interested :)
Fael Illyar: even if they all were interested :)
Fael Illyar: yep, small world(s)
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Pema Pera: (and now Hana is walking in, distracting Calvino)
Eliza Madrigal waves to Hana (even during the bell)
Fael Illyar smiles.
Pema Pera: ((they are sharing an office))
Fael Illyar waves to Hana too.
Pema Pera: (((and yes, they are talking during the bell, I can hear them)))
Eliza Madrigal: heheh
Pema Pera: ((((don't know whether bell time counts in RL?))))
Fael Illyar giggles 'I think many people do take it for just an SL pause.'
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Calvino Rabeni: Hey, Hana is waving from RL to SL!
Fael Illyar beams happily.
Eliza Madrigal: :)))
Eliza Madrigal: Hana has an interesting voice... I'm recalling.... subtle scarlet johansen quality...
Pema Pera: let's see how she reacts to that . . . .
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Fael Illyar smiles.
Eliza Madrigal: just an impression :)
Eliza Madrigal: distant... fuzzy now...
Pema Pera: (Calvino is reading to Hana)
Calvino Rabeni: :)))
Pema Pera: ((but I'm too far to overhear))
Pema Pera: anyway, these SL/RL mixes can be quite confusing!
Eliza Madrigal: need a cup and string....

Actually one cup and a string would not do... What is needed is only a cup? Well, a glass one... So, what is needed is a glass..

Calvino Rabeni: I was checking that out, Eliza :)
Pema Pera: hehehe
Pema Pera: (now Hana is moving to the small office, so we each have a different door)
Eliza Madrigal: hahha... musical offices...
Calvino Rabeni: It's a great thing to remember those impressions, like the quality of a voice, or a place
Calvino Rabeni: Now I can tune in on it also :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes... and funny what we remember... of all we take in
Eliza Madrigal: the strangest things sometimes

Eliza Madrigal: what are your impressions so far Cal?
Pema Pera: well, I'm afraid I'll have to tune out -- little chores to take care of before having lunch with Calvino and Hana in an hour -- wish I could tp the two of you over to the Dining Hall here, Fael and Eliza!
Fael Illyar smiles 'Have fun Pema.'
Eliza Madrigal smiles... am heading outside to enjoy the warmth today :)
Eliza Madrigal: Have a nice day/lunch/etc!
Calvino Rabeni: hmmm, nice sense of focus and calm, creative energies, hard to say more at this point
Fael Illyar: Have fun you too, Eliza :)
Eliza Madrigal: (oh, I meant in a bit, Fael.. but thanks)
Fael Illyar: oh :)
Eliza Madrigal: creative energies.... you can pick up on that... nice
Eliza Madrigal: jump in there and swim with it :)
Calvino Rabeni: Yes, those "energies" - I like to think one can tune into them
Eliza Madrigal: me too, generally.... We actually talked a little this morning about how paB can be like that....
Fael Illyar: Yes, any people you interact with somehow tend to join in there :)
Eliza Madrigal: picking up on subtle emotions, etc
Calvino Rabeni: Yes, and learning to see through distractions, or remove them
Eliza Madrigal nods @ Fael
Eliza Madrigal: Ah, be more precise, Cal?

Viewers and their and Views....

Calvino Rabeni: The quality of a place - its aesthetics, can help one center and focus, or the opposite
Calvino Rabeni: Even something like the SL "viewer" program
Eliza Madrigal: Oh... that's an interesting idea
Calvino Rabeni: It is a kind of window to look through
Eliza Madrigal: yes, true... a frame
Calvino Rabeni: And I'm enjoying using the 2.0 viewer from secondlife -
Eliza Madrigal: I'm not sure what I'm using... guess not too precise
Eliza Madrigal: :))
Calvino Rabeni: I'm happy with the upgrade and recommend it
Eliza Madrigal: Ah, good tip, thanks
Calvino Rabeni: as giving a better aesthetic to the SL experience
Eliza Madrigal: I see I'm using 1.23...
Calvino Rabeni: These things are part of our "body" in virtual reality
Eliza Madrigal: all the worlds we work with are our bodies....
Calvino Rabeni: the new viewer is downloaded from the same place as the old one at secondlife.com
Eliza Madrigal: Okay. Thanks. What do you use Fael? Is that diff from emerald?
Calvino Rabeni: Yes, nothing really can be ignored as insignificant to the total quality of experience
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Fael Illyar: I use Emerald and I'm sure there will be Emerald version of the new one soon too
Eliza Madrigal: so it isn't a whole different thing...
Fael Illyar: I'm a bit mixed with the new one.
Eliza Madrigal: emerald is an add on...
Fael Illyar: I want the pie-menus back :P
Eliza Madrigal: no pie menus?
Eliza Madrigal: egads!
Fael Illyar: yes, it only had traditional menus
Fael Illyar: you right click and the menu is just a dropdown list
Eliza Madrigal: boo hiss
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Fael Illyar: I hope they'll add a setting somewhere to get a pie
Fael Illyar: or someone will
Eliza Madrigal: its the little things...
Fael Illyar: who knows, maybe I'll finally find enough of an excuse to dive in there myself if no-one does i
Fael Illyar: it
Eliza Madrigal: There ya go!

My attention pulled back to settle on remembered sensations ...

Eliza Madrigal: hmmm...
Eliza Madrigal stops to wonder what Princeton is like right now.... remembers the fall leaves crunching beneath her boots...
Calvino Rabeni: A sense of history is also great to have, in RL settings like princeton
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal: I brought home a dry, shriveled leaf... placed in a little container I have love notes from former students in.... histories are little worlds, too....
Fael Illyar: yep :)
Eliza Madrigal: love notes like "you're the best teacher ever no one can change my mind" hehehe...
Eliza Madrigal: sweetest little girl... such memory problems...
Eliza Madrigal: like me. I could never give someone a timeline...
Eliza Madrigal: even of my own life :)
Fael Illyar smiles.

Eliza Madrigal: I wonder what she 'takes away' from what she learns... prob not facts...
Eliza Madrigal: sensations...

Eliza Madrigal: How much exploring have you done so far Cal?
Calvino Rabeni: I found a good spot in Boston also, a private library called the Athenium.
Calvino Rabeni: (I was in Boston before coming here)
Eliza Madrigal: Ah :) That was my next question :)
Calvino Rabeni: I haven't explored Princeton much yet
Calvino Rabeni: Anyone have some suggestions?
Eliza Madrigal: Just let things naturally unfold... Pema is wonderful company and a good guide :)
Eliza Madrigal: Fael, what about you? You were there longer...
Fael Illyar: hmm...
Calvino Rabeni: What were some of your impressions, Fael?
Fael Illyar: I liked the pond near the institute :)
Eliza Madrigal smiles, yes... magical pond
Fael Illyar: yes, quite unusual feel to it :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes, that's where we did the walking being seeing exercize....
Eliza Madrigal: opened me up to realize that the universe is a very friendly place....
Eliza Madrigal: guess that's appropriate. hahah
Fael Illyar smiles.
Calvino Rabeni: Here's a saying about that, which I like.
Eliza Madrigal thinking of the people who walked around the lake in love with exploring both the vastness and precisions of the universe....

Calvino Rabeni: "Life really *is* out to get you!" :)
Eliza Madrigal giggles
Calvino Rabeni: Luckily :)
Fael Illyar giggles
Calvino Rabeni: Life *wants* you :)
Eliza Madrigal smiles.... that's one of those things it might be good to think about first thing in the morning ...
Calvino Rabeni: Like, you are the lover, or the favored child, of "life"
Eliza Madrigal smiles widely
Calvino Rabeni: All the sterner stuff notwithstanding - this is also very true
Eliza Madrigal: "Come out and play"
Calvino Rabeni: Yes
Eliza Madrigal: earlier we talked about awareness in the midst of extremes...
Eliza Madrigal: both together... the awareness being the point
Eliza Madrigal: in a way, anyway :)
Calvino Rabeni: yes to that

Eliza Madrigal: Fael did you explore the larger university when you were there? I didn't.... Its funny but though I'm not incurious, I didn't feel particularly pulled to wander...
--BELL--
Calvino Rabeni: A human is a child of extremes, as if we could call on their powers in either dimensions
Fael Illyar: No, I didn't visit the princeton university at all
Fael Illyar: I did walk right past it but didn't feel like going in to see
Calvino Rabeni: Calvino Rabeni will slip away now during this pause :) bye!
Fael Illyar: Have fun Cal :)
Eliza Madrigal: Bye Cal :) Enjoy your visit
Fael Illyar: meep! :)
Eliza Madrigal: Meep Meep!

Fael and I sit together quietly for a while...

Eliza Madrigal: "I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round..."
Fael Illyar smiles.
Eliza Madrigal: Ah... just in the mail from Buddha Center ...

Every time I open my eyes I see a you and me.
Even when I close my eyes you and I continue to exist,
because these eyes and this mind are conditioned
to separate what really exists as one.

The you that I see is everything that I am not.
The me that I see is always a familar stranger
catching himself looking
into the cosmic mirror of life.

The me that you see is the me that you think
I am and the me that I reflect from the mirror.
If we crawl much deeper into this cosmic space,
all lines between us give way to something singular
that exceeds whatever you or I represent
separately or together.

In this space you and I cease to exist.
For in this space, nothing exists
no you or me separate from anything else.

And in this space you and I surrender
all form and conditioning.
And there we rest us one. we will meet again.

-Bowie

Fael Illyar smiles.
Eliza Madrigal: Curiosities abound :))
Fael Illyar: Yep :)

We fell quiet for a while again, into which space some music floated up...

Eliza Madrigal: Do you like musicals?
Fael Illyar: I haven't seen many... or then I don't really know what that means exactly :)
Eliza Madrigal: :) The musical Wicked has a fantastic soundtrack....
Eliza Madrigal: and interesting themes... leaps into the dark/defying gravity...
Eliza Madrigal: things not always being what they appear.... ethics, etc
Eliza Madrigal: Its a play about the Wicked Witch, which turns everything inside out...
Eliza Madrigal: all familiar good guy/bad guy dichotomies.
Fael Illyar: sounds interesting :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes.. don't know why but thought to mention it....
--BELL--
Fael Illyar: oh, Wizard of Oz world.
Eliza Madrigal: have taken my children to see it a few times.... yes :))
Eliza Madrigal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMBc...eature=related
Eliza Madrigal: there are better visuals... but the music is clear on this clip...
Fael Illyar: Ah...
Eliza Madrigal: guess I'm into anti-heroes.... the story goes that Glinda the goodwitch and the wicked witch were once school mates and best friends... after the validation of the Wizard....
Fael Illyar: I read the beginning of the wikipedia article :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Fael Illyar: I like the music in that one :)
Eliza Madrigal: There is gorgeous music in the whole musical.... "For Good" is particularly moving....
Eliza Madrigal: My daughter sang a solo or "I'm Not That Girl" once for school.... a special moment ... sometimes we think we know people well then they surprise us :)
Eliza Madrigal: I was ready to console her... had heard her pracitcing and thought she didn't have it down... she put me in my place. hah
Eliza Madrigal: Anyway... nostalgia this morning I guess....
Eliza Madrigal: Should let you go about your day :)
Fael Illyar smiles.
Fael Illyar: have fun out :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes.... time to get on the tennis shoes and find trouble... Oh, wait... some may have signed on... heheh
Eliza Madrigal: Kidding
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Fael Illyar waves happily.
Eliza Madrigal waves.... Have fun, Fael :)