2011.12.10 _ -9

Standing meditation, in the morning. Meditation does feel different without the direct pressure of the 99 days.

Still, I feel the next project for me should be in a different direction. The meditation can stew quietly underneath, but what I really want to do next is give my brain something to chew on on a daily basis. I am considering trying to write something for 15 minutes a day, that is: writing or activities that contribute directly to the writing (such as reading focused on finding something). Something like that, and I still have eight more days to ponder what exact form it should take.

I sat in the early afternoon, in yet a different place, back in Amsterdam, beautiful weather, sunlight streaming through high windows, and occasional clouds bringing a bit of drama. Thank you for the wonderful video, Eden! Thinking back at Eos' story, indeed heartbreaking; didn't know yesterday what I could possibly say/write in response, as I think many of us felt.

Neutral days, like a bardo, in-between time, like between Christmas and New Year's: the minus 9s. No longer doing that, not yet doing next-that. Sitting like that. Noticing the attending to inner world of thoughts, and then more open-eyed to outer world of touch and color and breathing space. And circulation of the two. Opening to it all is somehow more grounding.

a full day... busy, too busy in some ways but also delightful. [9 seconds] *check in* edited 04:36, 11 Dec 2011