2012.01.29 _ 41

Standing meditation in the morning. My body felt very heavy, again. Changed to sitting halfway.

Rest. This was the theme of my one-hour morning practice. After that I got up and . . . found that rest had also been the theme of all of yesterday's contributions!

Re doubts: I found this comment interesting:

Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel
"I have noticed that beliefs and doubts are linked. We have beliefs because we are afraid of falling into a meaningless or groundless state. And yet we are subject to doubt when our beliefs fall apart. But the interesting thing about both belief and doubt is that they depend on a static view of the world."

Watching the trees and the water. Suddenly a cloud breaks and a stream of light is everywhere golden illuminating, trees and leaves standing and breathing. Just as suddenly the cloud re-covers and all en-dusks.

In awe, that omnidirectional stream of light everywhere soaking everything powerful already. Just sayin'.

I had planned today to wean from coffee today, long enough to stop depending on it first thing in the morning, but well, tomorrow is another day. :) I will intend not to have coffee this afternoon nor evening when I am writing in a cafe' somewhere.

This morning the phrase 'not even rest' seems very much with me, and now, the soaked golden illuminating stream. edited 15:33, 29 Jan 2012

201201291916
Premiere of a friend's independent film this afternoon. Black and white, multilingual (he's a poet born in Montreal in an Italian family, lived in Mexico and Toronto). The story of Antigone in the words of Sophocles he translated himself: he shooted during 4 days in his own house, with incredible unknown actors. The soundtrack was amazing, with Spanish songs, thunderstorms, whispering voices: there were bilingual dialogues (Ismene talking English, her sister Italian), a Serbian song, the oracle speaking French. It all came back to me as I was watching my friend's brilliant work: I played Antigone when I was 13, my best friend Françoise was playing my fiancé (it was an all-girls school). I remembered the play, how daring was Antigone who was listening to her own heart instead of obeying the unfair law forbidding her to bury her brother. In the Greek tragedy, Sophocles called her heart "the gods", but I understand Antigone much better now. When I was 19, at college, I made a speech about the play for one of my theatre studies classes and all the passion I had then was flowing again in my own heart this afternoon. Great works of art do that to you: they rekindle your creative flame. I feel so grateful for my friend's skills and wonderful talent. #timestamp edited 00:57, 30 Jan 2012