2012.02.05 _ 48

Morning coffee craving easier to let go of than I thought, which makes the afternoon coffee seem like a nice treat. Think I've seen what I needed to see and am enjoying taking my time getting up in the mornings, and the gentleness of tea in comparison. It does ask a larger question though... sure, it is/was not easy exactly, but ideas and anxiety around it were inflated. How many things that I am putting off are like this?

Fascinating observation, Wester, about allowing requiring more relaxation than doing!
And how about seeing? Before choosing between allowing and doing, is it possible to just watch and see, and does that perhaps help in relaxing? Just wondering. :-)
This morning was like riding a bicycle, falling continuously and gentle a bit right and left in order to go forwards, right and left as in freewheeling and considering. edited 18:28, 5 Feb 2012

'Life isn't going to exhibit itself in the way we think it is going to exhibit itself' Darryl Bailey. Not that reassuring really, it might be worse than I expect, but it helps keep me from narrowing or closing it down into an expected pattern.

Prostrations in the evening. Tried doing three prostrations normally before switching to to the "allow" mode. Not sure yet if that helps or not. Also had to label a lot of thoughts "narrative refining itself", and I wish it had been a narrative worth refining. Oh, the ways of ego...

I like the idea of seeing before doing/non-doing. Will try that next time.

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Self-healing path no 1: As I slowly wake up at 06:22, I welcome myself into this new day of my life, scanning my body, my feelings and my thoughts and lingering dreams to acquaint myself with my new self. Then I choose the state of being I want to maintain throughout this day: I chose a state of happiness (isn't it the PaB theme for February?).Then I pick something I will privilege today so I can stay in touch with my happy self: I decided I was going to walk by the frozen river. My state has been challenged a few times by outside sources, but I did manage to walk at the end of the afternoon, replenishing myself with the blue-gray of the sky, the bluish snow and the fresh cold air. I'm feeling happy now. #timestamp

Reading a couple of chat logs, I am reminded of all of you here in the second 99 day project continuing to share your meditations...and my forgotten intentions to join you 40 days or so ago. I ponder how totally I forgot and briefly wonder what else I may have forgotten/be forgetting. More important, it is immeasurably nice it is to find you still here!

Cheers, Adams!

Did a full stop, not doing anything, body not moving, forty minutes retreat in time (by the wood stove :-) Relaxing doing seeing, yes. Thoughts emotions, came and went, their foot servants too. Stillness already there, though usually occupied, senses and sensing. Special, and nothing special.