2012.01.18 _ 30

I almost settled for 5 minutes of prostrations in the morning and Tai chi lessons in the evening. But I decided on doing the 10 minutes standing meditation as well, to stay in the habit. My legs were very tired and took most of my attention. By the time I had found a posture that was comfortable the ten minutes were over.

Got new computer today. Struggled for hours with serial nos and activation codes (60 letters) trying to install voice typing software and user files from last computer. So user unfriendly. Good lesson in patience...I am just plugging away and will ring them tomorrow. New computer seems more difficult to type on with weak left hand.

Since seeing a Zen calligraphy exhibit now a few weeks ago, a few things have stayed with me: 1) that masters were not young when they began to work with artwork in a serious way; they had spent many years in study and sitting preparation, and 2) have been remembering hearing older masters describe many years of arduous or rote tasks and memorizing before having a sense that contemplation kicked in creatively. I've also continued to consider "flying white" ... when one sees calligraphy with much energy and space in the strokes, due to a dry brush or a particular kind of brush being used. Today when driving home in traffic slowly from an appt., I looked to the right to see wind rushing through Areka palms but seemingly nowhere else.. thought about different sorts of receptivity and materials. Earlier, mused on knowledge not made of material... not capturable on paper but conveyed.

201201182006
My father likes to tell this story: when he was a little boy, he saw a train running in the distance, a tiny train. He asked his older brother to fetch him the miniature train so he could play with it. The older boy told him it was an effect of perspective: the train was a real one, not a toy as it seemed because of the distance.

Last night, in a dream, I saw a little dinosaur on a black sand beach, standing on his hind legs at the edge of the water and I wondered: "Is it an effect of perspective?" #timestamp

I experimented a bit with Eos' pausing at the end of other people's sentences, both in reading as he suggested and in listening. Interesting to create/allow/provide space around each sentence. And at the same time, these in-between periods have a kind of connecting sense, a bit like mortar between bricks, or bamboo joints between bamboo stalks, but in a more open way. I'd like to explore this further.

I am going thrugh a bit of an emotional sea change right now that I don't truly understand. It's like my connecting mortar is dissolving and flaking away and the bricks are rearranging themselves.

I was reminded yesterday how important it is to persevere in my meditating. It wont come easily. I was told the story of a very old woman who was able to accomplish a great deal even before the sun came up. Being asked how she managed this, she said she had finally been able to get rid of all extraneous thoughts. She had been meditating and doing yoga for over 65 years. edited 18:26, 19 Jan 2012

Quite late here... taking every opportunity to bracket breaks with little punctuation marks of letting go. Everything in quotes. How to drop the quotes? :-)