2012.02.01 _ 44

"Spiritual awakening doesn’t require a new experience; it’s simply seeing clearly what‘s already happening." Darryl Bailey

Looking through the clouds of delusion. But do I want to see what is there? It isn't all pleasant. Yet some of it is more pleasant than I feared. Such a big difference between what my mind sees and what is there.

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Interesting numbers...After meditation, before energetic exercices, sipping lemon, ginger in honeyed hot water. Too late for the lemon peel, will add the "zing" tomorrow. Writing this afternoon. Brecht's "Threepenny Opera" downtown tonite. (In French, it's Quat'Sous: Fourpenny). Another icestorm lurking. It's almost impossible to walk on Montreal sidewalks these days and I miss the fresh air of my morning walks by the river. #timestamp

Lemon, ginger, honey, water....zest..... yummy.

Noticed how already this is a bigger adjustment than I thought to make, that a coffee shop I rarely even order coffee at, seemed to lose its pull as I walked past on my way to an appointment, also that I wanted to jump onto the neglected treadmill. #reverberations

Sitting meditation in the evening. Quite tired, very tense. Even my breathing felt tense. Found it difficult to relax. BTW, this is not the winter depression. I don't know where it comes from, I just know it's there.

Eden: Four pennies in French? What do you know! My favorite line from that opera: "everybody runs after happiness, but alas, happiness runs behind (trying to catch up with all those runners)". So: Rest!
Eliza: when I went without coffee for a couple months, recently, I found that chai latte and other tea lattes came closest to my favorite coffee drink, which is caffe latte; perhaps something to try?

Sometimes societies have one minute pauses when someone dies, or to honour death and sacrifice in wars. Today I went to a meeting that began with a several minute pause. Pro-active pauses for the living? For purpose and intention? For being, and being together?

Reframing and reframing - squirrel mind keeps turning the wheel. And aware-ing still all around.