2012.01.27 _ 39

This morning I went back to making hourly notes in my journal, something I hadn't done for a while, after I got rather busy with work. It will be an interesting challenge to see whether I can continue with it even when busy. After all, the actual time needed to write every hour is just about a minute or so; another form of roughly 1% time tax . . . I'll see how it goes!

Standing meditation in the morning.

I noticed that while the depression is not that much like ordinary tiredness, it is quite similar to the moment just before you fall asleep (or the moment when you just wake up but could have used more sleep) when doing anything at all becomes an almost insurmountable task. Very useful when you need to fall (or stay) asleep, not so much when it's in the middle of the day and you need to do things. But it is all a matter of context, it seems.

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Icestorm outside, quiet inside, breathing in and out. #timestamp

Stories, interpretations, the conceptual layer I throw over reality... When I can start to see depression as feelings and thoughts to be investigated, I think I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel...

Excavating rest when at lunch with a grown young woman, my daughter, appreciating the way that she thinks differently than I do... seeing the ways in which she is working to come into her own expressions, honoring that while not burying my own voice of concern or care. Delicate balances.