2012.01.10 _ 22

Standing meditation in the morning. A bit jumpy, both body and mind.

I got a rare chance to sleep in for a long time this morning. While moving slowly in and out of sleep, I focused lightly on the nature of time. I started by watching my thoughts, focusing mainly on the content of each thought, as we usually do. I then switched to a deeper level, watching the coming and going of thoughts instead, without judging their contents as good or bad, interesting or not. And finally, after a while, I tried to go yet one level deeper, trying to watch the stream of time, the stream of moments from which thoughts pop up and dissolve again, like waves on a river or ocean. Doing so, while falling asleep and waking up several times, gave me a taste of a tidal scene between land and water, between waking and sleeping. It felt like an early stage in a meaningful long exploration.

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On a light train to the Moon, my feet into the hands of the energetician, my whole body restarted, I tai chi my way into Steve's beautiful train metaphor, go through Eliza's car and dance with her in translucent enamel cells, in the wealth of hues of the sacred feminine. In the next car, I tiptoe as Wester is standing still in the mountain pose, settling happily into a "gezellig" way of life while Pema in his car is shifting the parallel trains of his thoughts deeper into the tides of Being. I hum a lullaby for Eos who needs to rest. And, as I keep advancing in the different cars of the train, the energetician hands on my heart filled with a violet ray, I beam love into your hearts, all of you.#timestamp edited 22:48, 10 Jan 2012

Thinking about retreats a lot today. Was discussing purpose of silent retreats with someone. People find the idea of silence for many days so strange and fearful. Yet it feels so natural when I do it. Letting the mind settle, away from all the bustle and chatter we think we need so much. Things fitting together imperceptibly..coming back..

Loving the train car image... one car in distinctly bright pinks and orange hues...

The most restful time of this day was time spent cleaning the kitchen and preparing a simple meal...chopping, shredding. It isn't always that way but tending to basic care-taking can be deeply freeing, allowing a downshifting into another mode and listening at a different layer.

Was noticing how quiet the day was, with the kids back to school and daughter with late rehearsal schedule. There was a long blank stretch which again, felt like having not left the wall.

Early short sit. The all kinds of work and problem attentions. Then later night walk, steady pace, attention to feet walking, open air. Then pavilion sit, playful and surroundering.