2011.12.23 _ 4

Noticing the stillness again this morning. The air, the tress, and the ground were all very very wet from the rain and the "city" lights sparkled from the other side of the river. Very few people or cars out this morning. Otherwise the darkness and dampness seem to envelop me as I got closer. I am wondering, is the world getting more still as Christmas approaches or I am I just slipping into quieter mode as I try to wrap up and close down a myriad of tasks. Is stillness just a state of mind?

Just before midnight I sat in my Kyoto attic, thanks to Wol's 99 program; otherwise I would have had 1001 excuses not to sit, what with having lost 8 hours today on the way from Amsterdam to Osaka, in a bedless night. But hey, having sat now for half an hour a day for almost two months without skipping a day, it becomes harder and harder to decide to slack off. Interesting psychology.
As always, I enjoyed reading the previous day's stories, including Eos' digging Handel digging the Messiah, and Stevenaia sharing tai chi healing aspects at the office. What a great group!

201112231256

Opening my eyes slowly, taking in the Christmas tree lights, the crystal reflections, the scintillating angels, the surroundings. The snow is falling in the window. Emerging from meditation with a smile on my face, peaceful, not rushing into action for once. When I finally looked at my watch, it was 12:56. #timestamp

Ready to begin the day right. Feeling deeply optimistic as I look out at the pearl grey sky.
Arising from deep sleep, many dreams. The challenge, now, is to focus on the moments when I sit rather than on planning the future. I find that thinking of one thing only, (like my cat curled on my lap formed by my folded legs, her purring warmth and softness) helps keep me blissfully attached to the present. edited 18:31, 23 Dec 2011

Yesterday I was too exhausted to either meditate or write.

Today I woke up 15 minutes before the alarm and decided to use that for some prostrations. That was a good start of the day. When the day is so hectic that there might not be room for meditation, it is better to do it early, because hectic days without meditation are more stressful than necessary.

I wrote a bit in the evening. I need to do some more structuring.

Differences between the kind of time to be set aside for writing or for meditation:
For meditation the time needs to be quiet and uninterrupted.
For writing, a bit of background noise is harmless and might even help. Short interruptions need not be a problem either.
Meditation can be done in any state. Tired, awake, agitated, all OK.
For writing, more balance is needed. Not too tired, not too emotional.

Thinking it might be better to write at the end of a day. Can reflect on what happened. I used to meditate 1/2 hour morning and night but have slipped to just 1/2 hour in morning. Walking a line between dislike of forced jollity and trying to relax into and enjoy this seasonal time and not be too much 'bah humbug.'

Spent first waking half hour today watching/being with waking from sleep mind. Dreamlets coming and going, a little different than the during the day thoughtlets, memory-lets, senselets. Somewhat different quality doing same late at night.A bit more catching myself in somatic states, my body shutting down various subsystems. Meanwhile I also woke to fresh snow, so magical.

Day which included long nap after tossing/turning night, and jaunt to the emergency room with son having breathing issues (all is okay). Much time in waitings for breaths practice. Much time in conversations for breaths practice. *check in* ... so thankful for this touchstone.

A quiet day, a short meditation followed by a very slow breathing Tai Chi in my living room after dinner... restful edited 04:45, 24 Dec 2011