2012.01.11 _ 23

Dropping defenses... hearing 'reports' from my latest trip to visit family, that I seemed less guarded... noticing that this was my impression of others and appreciating the open mirrors. It would be easy to give reasons for the sense of openness, to cite work done on self, to set up a dogma of "forgiveness" as culprit, but this isn't what I feel. There is simply wonder.
One thing to notice is fewer preferences which are more about culture than values... that there are no genres of music I reject out of hand, so to speak and that though I am attentive where my diet is concerned, there are times to drop that too, and partake with everyone... that gestures from one place show up everywhere in unexpected ways.
Talking with a friend about catharsis addiction... that wanting to plant a victory flag on the heaps of family dynamics is another thing noticed, and also a closing as though I know 'what is going on.' Better to leave it alone. Rest. edited 14:10, 11 Jan 2012

A bit more than half an hour of practice, this morning, after waking up, continuing moving from what appears to how it appears to the time in which it appears.
I very much enjoyed Eden's train image yesterday, so apt!
And Eliza's contribution above, such a nice series of dropping what is not needed, including the most subtle self-centered commentary. Yes, rest.

Standing meditation in the morning.

Everything is grey, and agitated at the same time. Finding it very hard to stay focused.

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The Christmas tree is now on the snow bank waiting for the recycling truck. #timestamp

Noticing my ups and downs today. But I also notice that emotions that used to drag me down have a lesser and more temporary effect. The meditation over the years has definitely had an effect, but hard to remember what I was like before.

Nothing much to say. Stamping the day. Impressed by seemingly constant dream activity at night, probably reflecting the day.