2010.08.06 01:00 - Acceptance

Yakuzza Lethecus: good morning cos
Yakuzza Lethecus: ah, you crashed ?
Yakuzza Lethecus: good morning again :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: how are you today ?
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: and how about You?
Yakuzza Lethecus: i am also fine
Yakuzza Lethecus: i hope other ppl might come as usual
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;) hope so too ;))
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: maby they will, or
Yakuzza Lethecus: i usually like reading more then typing :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: if not, we are two of us here then ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: its okey ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: heh
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I can type then ;))
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: listning silence right now, got baby to sleep (hoping he will be sleeping some time now) and two boys are with their friends and one boy went with Jukka to fix bike
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: empty house
--BELL--
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: at morning when i woke up something about 7
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I did made some tea
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: prepared cofe
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: and porrige
Yakuzza Lethecus: yes
Yakuzza Lethecus: i woke up at 8
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: then put some Natacha Marsh cd playing
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: its quite hmm
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: tranquil music
Yakuzza Lethecus: hey
Yakuzza Lethecus: good morning
Yakuzza Lethecus: ups :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: wrong window
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: Took one refreshing perfume from fridge and sprayed it. (like to keep some of perfumes on fridge, so they are cool and refreshing with fruits)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: heh, it happens sometimes ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: windows mixes up
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: this was my morning
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: Cal <3<3<3
Calvino Rabeni: Good morning :)
Calvino Rabeni: <333
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: good Morning ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I just told about morning here
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: if being a bit tired, still can create tranquil / or serene morning
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;)
Susan Aloix: Hey everyone :)
Calvino Rabeni: Hello Susan :)
Susan Aloix: Hi Cal :)
Susan Aloix: (my av in this sim for some reason shows typing)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: Hi Susan ;))
Susan Aloix: Hello Cosmic :))
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: How are You Susan, and Cal ?
Susan Aloix: I'm really well thanks cosmic...just finished a long week...friday night here....:) how are you cosmic?
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: well too, but a bit tired. ;) baby woke me up more than usual last night. For me its about 11 am at the moment ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: but I managed to make morning hmm, special
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: eaven if feeling a bit tired ;)
Susan Aloix: ahhh....a baby....how special...and yeah i've heard about them and sleep :)
Susan Aloix: wonderful cosmic :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: Simo do woke up usually once per night and woke up at 06.00 am-07.00 am, but last night I breast feeded him about 4 times
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;))
Susan Aloix: omg lol
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: heh
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: well
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I enjoy about it
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: being, with baby and all that it brings with
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I enjoy much
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: kind being a bit tired, but huge happy still <3<3<3
Susan Aloix: ohhh yeah...that mix of happiness and tiredness....thats pretty good lol
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I found out it helps if putting some perfumes (fresh with fruits and greens - summer scents) on fridge, so they are gold when taking them to wear, those do refresh huge much ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: cold
Susan Aloix: lovely...:)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I read about it and wanted to try, all in the house were wondering why perfumes are on fridge, but.. its okey
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I live here with 4 sons and man
Susan Aloix: ohhhhh cool :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: only lady on house
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: lol
Susan Aloix: oh wow...i live here with one flatmate lol
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;))
--BELL--
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: hmm, does anyone have some topic on mind?
Susan Aloix: ummmm
Susan Aloix: none at the moment cosmic..i will jump in with anyone elses topic tho
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: heh, its okey too
Susan Aloix: :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: all is okey
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;))
Susan Aloix: :0 yeah...true...all is
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: maby acceptance??
Susan Aloix: mmhmm nice one
Calvino Rabeni: I was thinking about that exact thing, Cos :)
Susan Aloix: sometimes acceptance is the last thing ya think of lol
Susan Aloix: mostly a state i tend to welcome...the state of acceptance....can be challenging as well
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: _/!\_
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: yes it is ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: but worth of taking challenge
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: if letting it come to heart
Susan Aloix: totally worth it
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: it will be only for good
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: <3
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: no need to argue anymore
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: to anyone
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: only to accept
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: be and let others be
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: as they are
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: and Love them as they Are
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: <3<3<3
Susan Aloix: in my field of research gestalt therapy, we have a concept called *paradoxical theory of change*...it means accpeting what is allows change to happen
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ahh
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: hmm
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: change and chooses are interesting too
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: with hand in hand of acceptance
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: might it need to letting go controlling
Susan Aloix: well change is constant.......so if you accept what is....change will naturally happen...rather than forcing it
Susan Aloix: yeah cosmic......letting go of controlling
Susan Aloix: :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: hmm ;) yess
Susan Aloix: do you meditate Cosmic?
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;) well
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: sometimes
Susan Aloix: :) same
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: while driving a car
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: it happens
Susan Aloix: huh :)
Susan Aloix: nods
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: heh
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: not like "doing" it
Susan Aloix: do you find thats linked to acceptance?
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: but its kind of state of being
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: as well sometimes at home
Susan Aloix: yeah i understand
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: while doing all "little things" at home
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;)
Susan Aloix: :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I have started to feel
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: the most good meditation is to be aware of all what to do at the moment, what ever that doing is
Calvino Rabeni: yes
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: do it with conscious
Calvino Rabeni: :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: thats why
Susan Aloix: yes......same here cosmic
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: i do not often sit down and meditate
Susan Aloix: nods
Calvino Rabeni: But while driving :)
Calvino Rabeni: OK !
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: maby i do madetate, but "without doing" it
Calvino Rabeni: Yes
Yakuzza Lethecus: actually that´s what i often think about, we sometimes naturally meditate even tho that we don´t name it in that way
--BELL--
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: yes Yaku :) some people do meditate when they are for example fishing
Yakuzza Lethecus: we might "start in the end" by nature and the grasp for perfectionizing that might contradict the goal itself
Yakuzza Lethecus: sry, for braking silence :)
Susan Aloix: mmhmm when i'm walking too
Susan Aloix: opps
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: its okey Yaku
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: :))
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: any time bell <3<3<3
Calvino Rabeni: I was talking to a friend today about the different attudes people have about this - about "what it is like" to be a self - and the stories people have about it
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: :) I think all in this circle can "let go" drop thing in silence all the time. No matter if there is a bell or not
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: so, don`t feel sorry Dear :)
Calvino Rabeni: One story is, the metaphor of the elephant and the rider
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ???
Calvino Rabeni: which are about the conscious mind, trying to "control" the unconscious mind
Calvino Rabeni: and make it do the right thing, go where it is "supposed to " go
Calvino Rabeni: which is seen as a real struggle at times
Calvino Rabeni: people exhausting themselves with self-control of their self
Calvino Rabeni: always feeling an internal struggle
Calvino Rabeni: Even in spiritual literature this idea is used, maybe it is a "horse" and "rider", not an elephant
Calvino Rabeni: it is a drama about control
Calvino Rabeni: but
Calvino Rabeni: it is not an experience of acceptance :)
Calvino Rabeni: and this friend was struggling with chronic fatigue
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: more thinking them to be One
Calvino Rabeni: and said - maybe he is tired from "fighting" himself all the time
Calvino Rabeni: and reading many books about how to do it
Calvino Rabeni: about how personality can be "overcome"
Calvino Rabeni: I told him, basically, he was not going to figure it out
Calvino Rabeni: by reading books - that was one thing making him exhausted
Calvino Rabeni: all the books about self understanding without acceptance, but for control
Calvino Rabeni: I thought of an alternative
Calvino Rabeni: a book he could read about acceptance
Calvino Rabeni: - as cosmic said, thinking them to be One :)
Calvino Rabeni: I think he has the start of a new vision
Calvino Rabeni: I hope
Susan Aloix: back
Calvino Rabeni: the flavor of the other way of seeing it
Calvino Rabeni: is the following - a quote
Calvino Rabeni: "When you decide to practice inner hospitality, the self-torment ceases. The abandoned, neglected, and negative selves come into a seamless unity. The soul is wise and subtle; it recognizes that unity fosters belonging. What you separate, the soul joins. Your soul is the priestess of memory, selecting, sifting, and ultimately gathering your vanishing days toward presence. This liturgy of remembrance, literally re-membering, is always at work within you.:
Calvino Rabeni: I wanted him to consider an alternative
Calvino Rabeni: to that unfriendly inner attitude about self
Calvino Rabeni begin: my thought is,
Calvino Rabeni begin: that acceptance has to start "inside"
Calvino Rabeni: to have peace in the "war against self"
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: Thats right
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: first we need to respect our-Self and accept Self
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: as we are
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: like I am what I AM
Calvino Rabeni: :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: or Who I AM
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: what ever it is needed on a moment
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: well
--BELL--
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I have also noticed
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: its huge hard for people to love them-Selves
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: no-one do punish one as One self
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: no person from outer world
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: people can be cruel to them-selves
Calvino Rabeni: Yes, like to a dog
Calvino Rabeni: Or a disobedient animal
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I think it should every morning when looking at mirror, see something good in there, a lovable being
Calvino Rabeni: Sometimes more worse treatement than they would show to other people in public
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: and truly say it to one-self
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: not to judge outlook
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: or give bad words to one-self on one`s mind
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: but choose nice words, with action of love
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: not to tease one -self
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: with negativ thought
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: -s
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: but give positive thoughts
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: feeding soul
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: and mind
Calvino Rabeni: The inner and outer are understood to be similar , in the saying "Love your neighbor AS yourself"
Calvino Rabeni: I agree with what you've said Cos :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: yes
Calvino Rabeni: It seems people fear, the "animal" will run wild
Calvino Rabeni: but that is not "seeing" one's Self
Calvino Rabeni: or could it be different for different people? LIke the quality of their desire?
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: hmm
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I started to thing those 4 words, "animal will run wild"
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: heh
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I think
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: it would be good
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: to run wild
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: think words
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: typo..
Calvino Rabeni: :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: if its the nature of animal
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: then it is the self
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: to run wild
Calvino Rabeni: yes
Calvino Rabeni: Is there anything to the saying - that an ignorant persons desire leads toward suffering, and a waise person's desire leads toward bliss?
Calvino Rabeni: *wise
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: I think that is one Truth
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: true nature
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: of being
Calvino Rabeni: But I see what you mean, Cos, about wildness also
Calvino Rabeni: Like often the wise are *wildly* wise
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: for example I think women should be Wild
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: many are not
Yakuzza Lethecus: good morning qt
Susan Aloix: hey QT
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: Hi Qt
Qt Core: a very late hi all :-)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: many Be as they are supposed to be
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: or live
Susan Aloix: :)
Calvino Rabeni: Hi QT
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: it okey Qt, as we know "time" is a relative matter
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: so I do give a wote to wildness
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ;)
Calvino Rabeni: And climate - for me it is a summer night with a refreshing cool breeze blowing in the open doors
Calvino Rabeni: And for susan, maybe, a winter's day :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: where are You from Susan?
Susan Aloix: :) Australia.........winter here
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: ah, I am from Finland, we have long cold winters too ;)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: with huge much snow
Susan Aloix: ohh cool!! i have one dear friend who is from finland......lovely people
Susan Aloix: yeah...you guys get snow lol
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: <3
--BELL--
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: just a sec
Calvino Rabeni: Acceptance is an important first step to change - and as a paradox, needs to accept not-changing also
Calvino Rabeni: as a friend of mine - has stress disorder from war
Calvino Rabeni: and has decided to believe it is permanent, and that is OK, and that he is not "broken" but is just that way
Calvino Rabeni: maybe
Calvino Rabeni: that is his "base" - of self-acceptance
Susan Aloix: yeah....and accepting the non-changing...also has a paradox to it.....it leads to a change in perception of the symptoms..and the felt experience of them...good point cal
Calvino Rabeni: maybe there is still the possibility of something different
Calvino Rabeni: but he is OK "as IS"
Susan Aloix: the freedom is in the perspective a lot of the time
Calvino Rabeni: true Susan, that acceptance of IS can unlock other things
Susan Aloix: yes.......
Calvino Rabeni: including - maybe expecially - things that are "unimaginable"
Susan Aloix: yes....
Calvino Rabeni: as it turns out, they weren't really :)
Calvino Rabeni: but they open up as new possibilities
Calvino Rabeni: that is a distinctive experience :)
Calvino Rabeni: seeing new possibilities emerge out of "nothing"
Susan Aloix: thing with a diagnosis.....like PTSD ...there is a need for an integration of the experience....the experience remains dissociated and unintegrated...hence flash back and nightmares.....helping a person restore the narrative n their experience is essential for moving on.......focusing on the *unbroken* narrative as you mentioned allows for the beginnings of a self-narrative that can hold the trauma......
Calvino Rabeni: yes, that larger narrative emerges as a possibility
Susan Aloix: yeah.....
Susan Aloix: .
Calvino Rabeni: or sometimes people say - it was always there - perhaps with the idea of soul
Calvino Rabeni: hmmm, what is "breaking the stone"?
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: back
Calvino Rabeni: wb <3
--BELL--
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: thanx
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: susan left?
Yakuzza Lethecus: propably crashed
Calvino Rabeni: gone, maybe a crash
Calvino Rabeni: the net is unreliable there sometimes
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: oh, hopefully gets back **
Calvino Rabeni: yes
Yakuzza Lethecus: lol, i liked that our sentenses went longer and our names are shorter
Yakuzza Lethecus: i meant that including names the 3 sentences after the thank you were equally long
Calvino Rabeni: It all ultimately balances out
Calvino Rabeni: I think we have "stones" within, of many sizes, large and small
Yakuzza Lethecus: i sneak out, i will be online too often anyway today :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye
Qt Core: bye Yaku
Calvino Rabeni: Take care Yaku
Qt Core: time to go for me too, have fun!
Calvino Rabeni: QT, good day :)
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: all seems to gone
Cosmicflower Ushimawa: Simo woke up
Calvino Rabeni: yes it is just you and i
Susan Aloix: ohhh kk i guess its nearly over?
--BELL--
Calvino Rabeni: It's over when whoever is here stops doing anything :)
Susan Aloix: laughing
Calvino Rabeni: Same here :)
Susan Aloix: lol
Calvino Rabeni: *** power *** hehe
Susan Aloix: LMAO
Susan Aloix: LOL done...quick IM?