2010.08.23 19:00 - Memory is a funny thing

The Guardian for this meeting was SophiaSharon Larnia. The comments are by SophiaSharon Larnia. This session was attended by stevenaia, druth, Aphrodite, and myself. We spoke about memories, our various perspectives on each moment, and how other people can fill in the gaps when we forget.

SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Aphrodite :)

--BELL--

SophiaSharon Larnia: hi stevenaia :)
stevenaia Michinaga: hello
stevenaia Michinaga: how are you tonight
SophiaSharon Larnia: well, a little headachy, but otherwise fine :)
stevenaia Michinaga: humidity that we have can do that
SophiaSharon Larnia: it felt nice to me today, cooler
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, cool, but a bit humid
SophiaSharon Larnia: its not cool enough to be fall like by any means, but reminded me that its 'close'
stevenaia Michinaga: and lots of allergies out there
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes true
SophiaSharon Larnia wonders where the summer went
stevenaia Michinaga: Aphrodite left
stevenaia Michinaga: was she actually here?
SophiaSharon Larnia: she was away for a while, she may have gotten logged out
SophiaSharon Larnia: no
stevenaia Michinaga: My son starts school tomorrow, making the true end of summer
stevenaia Michinaga: marking
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes! indeed
SophiaSharon Larnia: I sort of remember starting school when I was young, in the first few eeks of september
SophiaSharon Larnia: weeks*
SophiaSharon Larnia: I don't know now if that was right :)
stevenaia Michinaga: smiles, yes memory does play tricks
stevenaia Michinaga: creates an interesting past
SophiaSharon Larnia: I think I have the worst memory for the past than anyone I know

stevenaia Michinaga: I have been in contact with many old friends on Facebook, who seem to be able to fill in large gaps of my past for me
SophiaSharon Larnia: wow yes
SophiaSharon Larnia: I was with a friend the other night, when she met up with someone who she hadn't seen in 10 years, connected through face book
stevenaia Michinaga: thank goodness for their memories, and of course I remembered things about them they did not remember, seems it could be possible to construct a complete past for someone else

--BELL--

stevenaia Michinaga: at least from my perspective, but not my own
SophiaSharon Larnia: interesting idea, like asking someone if such and such really happened, and filling it in.
stevenaia Michinaga: hello druth
SophiaSharon Larnia: hi Druth :)
druth Vlodovic: hi
SophiaSharon Larnia: we were talking about faulty memory, and other people filling in the gaps
druth Vlodovic: ah
SophiaSharon Larnia: (and did the bell in the pond sound like a gong to you just now, Steve?)

druth Vlodovic: saw a show on tarmatic experiences, they said that each time an incident is recalled it is re-experienced, and is then re-memorized
stevenaia Michinaga: I ahve a watch on that also gongs, so they both rang
SophiaSharon Larnia: laughs, I have the mindfulness bell ding on my computer
stevenaia Michinaga: I think the present (now) can have as many different views of the same moment
SophiaSharon Larnia: druth, like a neurological imrinting type of reexperience?
SophiaSharon Larnia: imprinting*
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, each visit to the same moment is re-experienced differently
SophiaSharon Larnia: nods thoughtfully
druth Vlodovic: well, they were using it for un-imprinting, re-experiencing with the goal of attenuating emotional impact
druth Vlodovic: it explains why things we avoid thinking about can have such a strong impact on us
SophiaSharon Larnia: I'm having trouble finding 'tarmatic' on google, can you explain what that is?
SophiaSharon Larnia: traumatic
SophiaSharon Larnia: slaps head
stevenaia Michinaga: awww
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
stevenaia Michinaga: (slap my head too , please)
SophiaSharon Larnia: aww im the worst typist, ever
SophiaSharon Larnia: maybe youre second (I was referring to steve ^^)
stevenaia Michinaga: nods
druth Vlodovic: it's when you fall and your head hits the tarmac
SophiaSharon Larnia: laughs
SophiaSharon Larnia: would definately want to reimplrint that experience
stevenaia Michinaga: it would leave quite the impression
SophiaSharon Larnia: :D
SophiaSharon Larnia: so maybe that's why my memory is bad then
stevenaia Michinaga: why? Tarmac impact?
SophiaSharon Larnia: druth Vlodovic: saw a show on tarmatic experiences, they said that each time an incident is recalled it is re-experienced, and is then re-memorized
stevenaia Michinaga: nods
SophiaSharon Larnia: no recall, no reexperience
druth Vlodovic: we used to talk about infants going through a "suicidal phase" where they would poke anything dangerous, run towards anything painful and continually contrive to fall on their heads, funny thing is my two normalest kids did it the most
SophiaSharon Larnia: theyre learning :))
SophiaSharon Larnia: no boundary between them and it
SophiaSharon Larnia: feeling around to where it is maybe
stevenaia Michinaga: they don’t forget the important things
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
druth Vlodovic: "When it looks like the ground suddenly vanishes, it is probably the stairs, rather than just an illusion."

--BELL--

SophiaSharon Larnia: welcome back Aphrodite :)
Aphrodite Macbain: Hello everyone! Just had dinner
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: :))
stevenaia Michinaga: what was for dinner?
Aphrodite Macbain: What is being discussed?
Aphrodite Macbain: Vietnamese chicken and a salad
stevenaia Michinaga: memories and various perspectives on each moment
stevenaia Michinaga: and the past
Aphrodite Macbain: fresh everything
druth Vlodovic: The biggest thing I find about it is the difference between what I consider important and what someone else does
SophiaSharon Larnia: nods
SophiaSharon Larnia: I'm sorry I'm sleepy and read that we were discussing chicken and salad
Aphrodite Macbain: sorry!
SophiaSharon Larnia: nooo its me
Aphrodite Macbain: hahah
SophiaSharon Larnia: i was soo confused
druth Vlodovic: but, I was talking about chicken and salad too
stevenaia Michinaga: I asked about dinner
Aphrodite Macbain: I think it's interesting to remember something - like chicken and salad - and realize it was in fact chicken and strawberries
Aphrodite Macbain: why do our memories of events change too
SophiaSharon Larnia: like you would swear it was one thing and it wasnt that
Aphrodite Macbain: yes

Aphrodite Macbain: we are so sure our memory is accurate
Aphrodite Macbain: we rely on it completely
stevenaia Michinaga: it is until you ask someone else what they saw
Aphrodite Macbain: and feel betrayed when it isn't
stevenaia Michinaga: at the same moment
SophiaSharon Larnia: i think it has to do with the change of focus of our attention, and some neuroillogical wire crossings
Aphrodite Macbain: I like that neueroillogical
stevenaia Michinaga: like a picture being worth 1000 words, a moment has 1000 perspectievs
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
Aphrodite Macbain: sometimes I focus really hard to remember and still forget
SophiaSharon Larnia: i still have 'snapshots' in my head, of moments when I was pretty young
SophiaSharon Larnia: but i cant remember many things
Aphrodite Macbain: and other times it is embedded forever like a song that you just heard
SophiaSharon Larnia: nods
Aphrodite Macbain: yes, snapshops are a good metaphor
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, strange snapshots, and wonder...why those
SophiaSharon Larnia: for instance, I can remember being int he car, and seeing the sunset out of the windshield
Aphrodite Macbain: yes. what makes some stay and the others disappear?
SophiaSharon Larnia: no particualr reason why that snapshot would be so clear
Aphrodite Macbain: I have heard that when strong emotions are attached to an experience, we remember it better
Aphrodite Macbain: and that we rememebr the last part of an experience. Such as being at the dentist. Even if we experienced agony during the first hour but had a painless second hour, we would rememebr the experience as pleasant
SophiaSharon Larnia: I'm not equipt to describe the mindbody connection with that atm
stevenaia Michinaga: When I drove to chicage with my 16 month old, he cried for hours, but I remmeber the moment at the rest stop where he met a juggler and laughed
stevenaia Michinaga: vividly
SophiaSharon Larnia: aww
Aphrodite Macbain: yes. we reemebr the last bits
Aphrodite Macbain: he probaly will remember the juggler and not the drive
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
Aphrodite Macbain: nice trick
SophiaSharon Larnia: I'm really not feeling that well, I think I want to lay down :)
druth Vlodovic: sometimes a song will gain a certain lustre, or emotional impact for me due to the circumstances under which I first heard it, often it is hard to remember the circumstances
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes! druth, truely
SophiaSharon Larnia: bye for now all
druth Vlodovic: take care of yourself sophia
SophiaSharon Larnia: sorry to leave so soon
Aphrodite Macbain: bye nice talking
stevenaia Michinaga: bye
Aphrodite Macbain: steve, druth - are most of your childhood memories happy ones?
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, and adulthood
druth Vlodovic: more random, or neutral

--BELL--

stevenaia Michinaga: now my parents tell me I was miserable the 1st few years
Aphrodite Macbain: is adulthood a memory Steve?
stevenaia Michinaga: tes, everything before now is a memory
stevenaia Michinaga: *yes
Aphrodite Macbain: Oh . Son you are saying that most of your memories are happy ones
Aphrodite Macbain: so
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Aphrodite Macbain: How fortunate you are
Aphrodite Macbain: Mine are very mixed
stevenaia Michinaga: I believe it’s not a matter of happy or not, but we can have a happy perspective on most things....... or not
Aphrodite Macbain: I hated being a teenager
stevenaia Michinaga: seems I chose happy
Aphrodite Macbain: Yes but I wonder if our present state of being colours our memories
stevenaia Michinaga: it;s a nice color for the moment
Aphrodite Macbain smiles
stevenaia Michinaga: so I am hoping is does color my past
druth Vlodovic: or colours which memories we recall
stevenaia Michinaga: wonders if your hate=regrests?
Aphrodite Macbain: yes. I rarely have new memories, they have ostly been edited and polished over the years
Aphrodite Macbain: mostly
Aphrodite Macbain: hate=regrets?
stevenaia Michinaga: Aphrodite Macbain: I hated being a teenager
stevenaia Michinaga: relating it to that
Aphrodite Macbain: but your memories of that time are pleasant?
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Aphrodite Macbain: interesting
druth Vlodovic: for a long time I had a hard time remembering, until I suddenly realized that I remember pictures best, so if I can make a picture of it it is easier
stevenaia Michinaga: maybe a heartbreak now and them, but learned much about people and lifr
stevenaia Michinaga: life
Aphrodite Macbain: making a picture of it is easier? druth?
Aphrodite Macbain: Does it make it more real?
stevenaia Michinaga: or just freeze the moment?
druth Vlodovic: once I imagined an ID page of a guy, complete with name and short commentary, when I met the guy years later the whole thing popped up :)
Aphrodite Macbain: by mAKING SOMETHING REAL it is easier to deal with it. Perhaps real=visible
druth Vlodovic: normally anything to do with people just slips past me
Aphrodite Macbain: I have to deal with something now so I must leave you. I'm sorry to talk and run.
Aphrodite Macbain: Bye
stevenaia Michinaga: bye Aphodite
druth Vlodovic: have fun aph
Aphrodite Macbain: bye steve, druth
stevenaia Michinaga: thanks for joining us
stevenaia Michinaga: what do you mean by "slips past you?"
druth Vlodovic: runs away, like trying to catch an elusive dream, names, details, faces all gone in a matter of instants
stevenaia Michinaga: so what becomes the important thing?
stevenaia Michinaga: what doesn't slip by
druth Vlodovic: well, it's a matter of constructing the image, and some things stay, some don't

--BELL--

stevenaia Michinaga: of course
druth Vlodovic: hmm, 8:00
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, 11:00 here
druth Vlodovic: you like techno style music?
stevenaia Michinaga: for short periods
stevenaia Michinaga: then it repeats
druth Vlodovic: well, it was here too, about 3 minutes ago :)
druth Vlodovic: twice a day
druth Vlodovic: or did you mean the music?
stevenaia Michinaga: I didn;t hear it
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, the music style
stevenaia Michinaga: I didn;t ehar iy
stevenaia Michinaga: hear it
druth Vlodovic: lol, since your obligation here has been discharged would you like to come see something?
stevenaia Michinaga: sure, but I was not charged here tonight, Sophia was
stevenaia Michinaga: feel free to tp me
druth Vlodovic: ok, give me a 'sec