2009.12.31 01:00 - Labels and Gauging Openness

The Guardian for this meeting was Zen Arado. The comments are by Zen Arado.

    Zen Arado: Hi Lia
    Lia Rikugun: hello zen hello nymf
    Zen Arado: Hi Nymf
    Nymf Hathaway: Hello Zen & Lia :)
    Lia Rikugun: hello calvino
    Nymf Hathaway: Good evening Calvino :)
    Zen Arado: Hi Cal
    Lia Rikugun: you mean good morning :)
    Lia Rikugun: (at leats for me)
    Zen Arado: very late evening for Cal!
    Nymf Hathaway: Always thought it was late at night for Calvino at this time :)
    Calvino Rabeni: Good morning
    Nymf Hathaway: oke was right :)
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes its SLT
    Zen Arado: wonder how the party went?
    Zen Arado: I only stayed an hour
    Nymf Hathaway: Missed it :(
    Lia Rikugun: oh yes it was yesterday right?
    Lia Rikugun: but very late for me
    Zen Arado: from 2 to 6 pm
    Lia Rikugun: yes :)
    Nymf Hathaway: yes... late for europeans :(
    Zen Arado: don't think they had a music stream
    Zen Arado: I set one up for my property but I find it very tricky
    Calvino Rabeni: There was music as far as I could tell
    Nymf Hathaway: Last day of the year... I am curious what 2010 will bring
    Zen Arado: yes but only using talk I think
    Lia Rikugun: new adventures hopefully!
    Zen Arado: maybe I am wrong
    Zen Arado: yes who knows
    Lia Rikugun: new beginning :)
    Lia Rikugun: but as we learn here each moment is a new beginning right? :)
    --BELL--
    Zen Arado: trying to stay open to possibilities more than I used to
    Zen Arado: beginner's mind
    Nymf Hathaway: What a wonderful thing Zen
    Zen Arado: ah but I try
    Zen Arado: don't succeed always
    Zen Arado: :)
    Nymf Hathaway: Thats human... but the effort makes the difference
    Zen Arado: try to control things too much
    Nymf Hathaway: oooh is having the same issue :)
    Zen Arado: I have had problems with this -you can't be just passive either
    Lia Rikugun: maybe you start by controlling until it gets more natural?
    Lia Rikugun: and then it happens automnatically
    Lia Rikugun: somehting you need to get used to
    Calvino Rabeni: So how do you imagine doing it *just right* ?
    Lia Rikugun: no idea :)
    Zen Arado: maybe living from a place where you are more in tune with what is required?
    Zen Arado: where you just 'see' what to do instead of planning and scheming
    Zen Arado: something Pema said a few days ago intrigued me
    Zen Arado: he said 'just because somebody does or syas something unpleasant doesn't make trhem an unpleasant person'
    Zen Arado: something like that
    Nymf Hathaway: No... its the receivers perspective doing that :)
    Zen Arado: but I wondered if somebody does this often aren't you justified in thinking this?
    Lia Rikugun: and the moment may be unpleasant
    Zen Arado: or should you always give them the bennefit of the doubt?
    Lia Rikugun: i think you cannot put this label on anybody
    Calvino Rabeni: Even if they really *are* a jackass you can still feel however you want, for yourself
    Lia Rikugun: pleasant or unpleasant
    Zen Arado: Hi Qt
    Qt Core: hi all
    Lia Rikugun: but some people are pleasant in some situations and some are unpleasant
    Lia Rikugun: hello Qt
    Nymf Hathaway: Hi Qt :)
    Calvino Rabeni: Because you don't have to justify your assessment to anyone
    Zen Arado: yes ..we can't stick those labels on ppl
    Lia Rikugun: but this I find it very difficult
    Lia Rikugun: theoretically I can understand
    Lia Rikugun: but if someone is not nice one time
    Lia Rikugun: i will remember
    Lia Rikugun: and be aware next time
    Zen Arado: it is self protection I am thinking
    Lia Rikugun: but the challenge is maybe to be open but also aware
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes, you can know a dog will bite, but not be angry and blame it.
    Zen Arado: but we shouldn't be too self protective?
    Lia Rikugun: open so that this person can be pleasant
    Calvino Rabeni: The dog is just that way.
    Calvino Rabeni: And a person may or may not be able to change.
    Zen Arado: but shouldn't we protect ourselves a bit?
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes
    Zen Arado: it might be foolishness not to?
    Calvino Rabeni: You can do that without feeling badly they are the way they are
    Qt Core: forgive but not forget ?
    Calvino Rabeni: Why forget what is true?
    Nymf Hathaway: and you can even if you come across that one again... just do not take him serious any longer... thats if what he was saying only was to hurt you
    Calvino Rabeni: I think you meant by "not forget" something like "hold accountable"
    Zen Arado: perhaps a really enlightened wouldn't worry about protecting thenselves?
    Zen Arado: person
    Calvino Rabeni: If it were necessary
    Qt Core: not really, more like hoping for the best but be prepaerd for the worst (maybe not so melodramatically)
    Lia Rikugun: yes qt i thinks thats a good idea
    Zen Arado: like Jesus allowing himself to be crucified?
    Lia Rikugun: be open to give the possibility for change
    Calvino Rabeni: but most people don't want to emulate jesus to that degree
    Calvino Rabeni: nor should they
    Zen Arado: or maybe we can do this according to our ability
    --BELL--
    Calvino Rabeni: and to the responsibility that we can bear?
    Zen Arado: agree with Qt - we should be optimistic about ppl and maybe they will respond to our expectation a bit
    Lia Rikugun: yes
    Zen Arado: our own attitude may affect theirs
    Calvino Rabeni: A positive assumption can be a very powerful thing
    Calvino Rabeni: both for oneself and for others
    Calvino Rabeni: and I think, even if it doesn't "control" others, it is still useful for me.
    Calvino Rabeni: If that makes sense?
    Zen Arado: yes
    Zen Arado: ah I am starting to control again :)
    Lia Rikugun: i have one question
    Lia Rikugun: can you do this every day: be positive towards everybody
    Lia Rikugun: what would be a good way to do this
    Lia Rikugun: i think theoretically it is wonderful
    Lia Rikugun: but i see that it is not always working for me
    Calvino Rabeni: In my view, it is a matter of a kind of equanimity
    Lia Rikugun: especially with people well I dont like so much :)
    Zen Arado: yes and we have to be patient with ourselves
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes very true
    Nymf Hathaway: Everybody is a big word Lia... this would mean we cannot think about how we feel ourselves
    Qt Core: i don't think i'm really positive, i go around expecting people behaving "like yesterday", a little better, a little worse, but being ready for big deviation from that too
    Lia Rikugun: so what are your suggestions
    Zen Arado: maybe if we make more efforet to really know people
    Lia Rikugun: and ourself
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes ourself.
    Zen Arado: we can be more understanding towards them
    Qt Core: but surely being negative is a great way to ruin your day starting from the beginning
    Zen Arado: yes that too
    Nymf Hathaway: agrees Qt
    Lia Rikugun: and maybe not fall back to much into the self
    Lia Rikugun: have a general position like an observer
    Lia Rikugun: not to get caught too much into anger or something like that
    Qt Core: i think that what you think will happen and what you hope will happen are (and have to be) two distinct things
    Calvino Rabeni: And what you want to happen
    Zen Arado: we don't know what makes people behave the way they do
    Lia Rikugun: hello Pema
    Qt Core: hi Pema
    Zen Arado: someone mught have had a row with their spouse that morning
    Nymf Hathaway: Anger only tells you, you are involved with the subject and you are in need to think about your reaction...or even change your persepctive on the subject
    Zen Arado: Hi Pema
    Nymf Hathaway: Hi Pema :)
    Pema Pera: Hi Calvino, Nymf, Zen, LIa, Qt!
    Calvino Rabeni: We are discussion juicy things - anger, blame, equanimity, reactivity, accountability, all that
    Pema Pera: (I'm just waiting for SL to rez, less juicy :-)
    Zen Arado: we were discussing what you said about someone who says something unpleasant not necessaroily being an unpleasant person
    Calvino Rabeni: involvement, detachment, trust, assumptions, etc.
    Zen Arado: Pema
    Nymf Hathaway: It all started with Zen telling us he promissed himself to stay more open towards everything in 2010... which is a great new years thought
    Zen Arado: so I will get hurt again :(
    Zen Arado: :)
    Calvino Rabeni: You may, zen, but I think you can decide whether it is worth it, and how much, to some degree
    Zen Arado: hmmm not usually :)
    Pema Pera: staying open is hard, but opening up, time and again, is more doable, I have found
    Zen Arado: maybe it gets easier
    Lia Rikugun: i need to remind myself
    Zen Arado: you learn to cope with the hurts
    Calvino Rabeni: with practice I feel it does get easier
    Pema Pera: that's the main problem, Lia, that's what the 9 sec breaks were designed to do
    Zen Arado: better than becoming repressed and bitter
    Qt Core: and you may even asses the risk of opening up in each situation
    Lia Rikugun: :)
    Calvino Rabeni: even to open to love is to risk hurt
    Pema Pera: !
    Zen Arado: that's the hardest one !
    Calvino Rabeni: Is that agree, Pema?
    Pema Pera: yes, emphatically so
    Nymf Hathaway: I learned myself... we all have things to learn... those who hurt me as well... maybe thats one of their lessons in life
    Calvino Rabeni: I think it is a bargain
    Lia Rikugun: so if we dont open up, we wont experince these great things :)
    Lia Rikugun: is this what we shuld learn from this? :D
    Pema Pera: indeed
    --BELL--
    Pema Pera: yet if we open up too fast, we hurt unnecessarily, and then it may also be more difficult to learn from the massive hurt -- so it's a matter of balance, as always
    Nymf Hathaway: agrees
    Zen Arado: but how to know what too fast is?
    Nymf Hathaway: You know yourself
    Lia Rikugun: my question too :)
    Pema Pera: However, opening up without seeing, without insight, may always be dangerous -- seeing is the most important part, and opening up can then follow naturally
    Pema Pera: yes, know yourself
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes, what you can bear without losing yourself
    Calvino Rabeni: What you can assent to
    Pema Pera: and you naturally feel if it is too fast, there are no rules
    Pema Pera: feeling/sensing/seeing -- we don't have a good word for that
    Zen Arado: yes it is being more in touch with youself
    Qt Core: listening as beside the "theory" i don't know much about being open
    Nymf Hathaway: Good point Pema
    Zen Arado: knowing yourself
    Zen Arado: empathy with yourself?
    Calvino Rabeni: you can slowly drop "likes" and "dislikes", while holding compassion for self
    Zen Arado: love is a kind of greed though and we jump right in
    Calvino Rabeni: no rigid rules
    Pema Pera: with practice you can sense the greed, and the harm it causes, to self and other
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes, it wouldn't feel pure
    Zen Arado: desires are never satisfied
    Lia Rikugun: what is 'it' her:e love?
    Calvino Rabeni: yes
    Lia Rikugun: ok
    Pema Pera: but really, it is the same with everything: with fastening your shoe laces even: you learn to feel when it is too tight or too lose -- would be impossible to describe in a rigid set of rules
    Zen Arado: romantic love is a kind of madness I think
    Calvino Rabeni: :)
    Lia Rikugun: :)
    Pema Pera: there may be a place for madness too :)
    Calvino Rabeni: that was a traditional attitude
    Nymf Hathaway: Darwins theory :)
    Calvino Rabeni: good point pema
    Pema Pera: no rules no limits
    Pema Pera: but sense, yes, and sensing
    Calvino Rabeni: no fixed rules fixed limits
    Calvino Rabeni: flexible rules that are intelligently applied
    Calvino Rabeni: in accord with current reality
    Pema Pera: starting PaB felt like quite a romantic thing to do, and quite crazy :-)
    Qt Core: what would be of the thrill of breaking rules without rules ?
    Calvino Rabeni: Breaking your own unnecessary rules is thrilling
    Nymf Hathaway: agrees with Calvino :))))
    Pema Pera: rules are useful as guidelines
    Nymf Hathaway: as Pema did with the start of Pab :)
    Calvino Rabeni: reference points for agreements and communication
    Pema Pera: identities are useful, but solid identifications with the identities overshoot and get in the way
    Zen Arado: hard to keep your feet on the ground with romantic love though
    Pema Pera: roles and rules are there to be worn lightly
    Zen Arado: I find
    Qt Core: statistically speaking rules are good, but on a personal/single case not always
    Zen Arado: emotions are hard to cope with
    Pema Pera: for a self, yes
    Pema Pera: but really seeing the emotions, perhaps no need to cope . . . .
    Pema Pera: going into the heart of them
    Zen Arado: yes too much self carries us away
    Calvino Rabeni: yes
    Pema Pera: coping is taking an outsider stance
    Calvino Rabeni: when a self is defined by emotions, it gets carried away helplessly
    Calvino Rabeni: a different way of agreeing with Pema I think
    Nymf Hathaway: works mostly for me... taking a step back and think before I react
    Pema Pera: watching emotions can be very powerful, and in fact not that hard, as long as we remind ourselves to try
    Calvino Rabeni: working with emotions is an important skill
    Zen Arado: but it's like what Lia was saying earlier about something else - the theory is fine , but the practice...different story
    Pema Pera: yes, Nymf, the short breaks :)
    Pema Pera: so you keep trying and learning :)
    Calvino Rabeni: practice IS a different story but not a difficult one :)
    Zen Arado: ok :)
    Nymf Hathaway: Hello Boots
    Lia Rikugun: :) will try continue trying
    Boots Mission: hello :)
    Lia Rikugun: hello boots
    Qt Core: hi Boots
    Zen Arado: Hi Boots
    Pema Pera: hi there Boos
    Pema Pera: *Boots
    Boots Mission: this is way kewl, )
    Boots Mission: I am sorry, I am intruding,.
    Zen Arado: have you been here before Boots?
    Boots Mission: no
    Zen Arado: no you are welcome
    Boots Mission: I own land just over there
    Zen Arado: I'll give you an notecard about what we do here
    Boots Mission: on mieum
    --BELL--
    Pema Pera: RL calling, great discussion, thanks a lot!
    Lia Rikugun: yes definitely
    Lia Rikugun: bye pema
    Calvino Rabeni: bye
    Nymf Hathaway: Have a wonderful new years Pema...since you are the first of all of us :)
    Qt Core: bye Pema
    Pema Pera: see you next year (for me; it's 7 pm already :-)
    Lia Rikugun: i will leave too, you all have a great new years eve
    Lia Rikugun: and nice celebration!
    Nymf Hathaway: Have a good new years Lia :)
    Calvino Rabeni: : Lia
    Zen Arado: bye Pema#
    Zen Arado: Bye Lia
    Qt Core: we are quiet neighborhood, Boots, when we aren't having preemptive new year party like some hours ago ;-)
    Boots Mission: my brain hurts after reading that twice, giggles. what is this?
    Zen Arado: we have discussions
    Boots Mission: ahh ok
    Zen Arado: about life
    Qt Core: and try to remind there is an universe around and inside us, but in a light way
    Zen Arado: and we use a technique of stopping every 15 mins and looking inside ourselves
    Zen Arado: briefly
    Boots Mission: sort of like we are nothing compared to the universe around us, we are part of something very big, but we are not the center?
    Zen Arado: yes that's one perspective
    Calvino Rabeni: Might see that, yes, but the idea is just to notice exactly what we DO see.
    Zen Arado: we all think WE are the center of the universe
    Boots Mission: of course
    Zen Arado: pre Copernicans?
    Calvino Rabeni: Maybe it is just an indescribable weird feeling
    Boots Mission: but to realize otherwise, is the greatest enlightenment
    Nymf Hathaway: Not think... experience life as we are the centre...its the thrill to experience life from the outside as well... (which is hard :) )
    Calvino Rabeni: We are not trying to see all the way to enlightment
    Calvino Rabeni: If somehow you could, that's great
    Calvino Rabeni: but the rest of the time, we are looking at that too
    Calvino Rabeni: baby steps sometimes
    Calvino Rabeni: there is no wrong answer
    Calvino Rabeni: this is how I understand it anyway :)
    Zen Arado: perhaps being more aware of ourselves is a good start
    Calvino Rabeni: yes
    Zen Arado: we tend to be on autopilot most of the time
    Zen Arado: a bit unconscious
    Boots Mission: are we not aware of ourselves first? The hardest hurdle is realizing the person next to you is not aware of you?
    Boots Mission: Love comes from that, they see you
    Boots Mission: the real you
    Zen Arado: I think we spend too much time in the past and in the future
    Zen Arado: so we aren't really 'here'
    Boots Mission: lol
    Boots Mission: true
    Calvino Rabeni: actually it's impossible to spend time other than here, so it might be easier to give up the effort :)
    Zen Arado: and we have an image of ourselves that isn't really true
    Boots Mission: I agree Zen
    Zen Arado: it is a construction of how we reacted to thoings in the past
    --BELL--
    Boots Mission: I am 44 years old, and it wasnt until I was 36 that it occurred to me that my reality was not the same for everyone else
    Calvino Rabeni: A memorable insight
    Zen Arado: yes Boots
    Zen Arado: took me longer than that !
    Nymf Hathaway: (sorry was afk my son needed me, back again)
    Nymf Hathaway: Wonderful Boots :)
    Calvino Rabeni: The reality of people sometimes seems like mirrors facing each other
    Boots Mission: I joined SL in 2004, as a very shy, unsure person. I learned something about myself and others. We are all in our little world, that is in many other worlds, that grows bigger and bigger,
    Boots Mission: I could write a book on how SL helped me in RL
    Zen Arado: Sl can be a frightening place too
    Calvino Rabeni: A liberating feeling and insight
    Zen Arado: know some who never made it off Help island
    Boots Mission: the thousands of people I met
    Boots Mission: The best friends
    Boots Mission: The awesome people changed my life
    Zen Arado: yes..you meet such helpful and interesting ppl
    Boots Mission: yea, Help Island, I was a mentor for years,
    Zen Arado: meeting here has made me start really thinking again
    Zen Arado: inspired me to go into things I never thought of
    Boots Mission: Sometimes we lose the path, and forget why we even exist. It is odd, I have owned land right over there on Mieum for years, but just now, I was compelled to come here. I have no idea
    Zen Arado: amazing
    Nymf Hathaway: Yes, I like that about life :)
    Zen Arado: we were saying earlier about trying to stay open to life in 2010
    Zen Arado: rather than being too protective
    Zen Arado: I liked what Pema said about knowing ourselves so we can guuge when to open ourselves
    Boots Mission: is it fear that rules?
    Boots Mission: That is my quandry, fear rules me when I dont realize it
    Zen Arado: I think it is a very big factor for all of us
    Zen Arado: bottom line
    Calvino Rabeni: know your limits
    Calvino Rabeni: and stretch them
    Calvino Rabeni: gradually
    Boots Mission: When I realize fear is ruling me, I sit back and ask myself why?
    Zen Arado: yes it isn't rocket science
    --BELL--
    Boots Mission: Fear can have a major impact on your life.
    Zen Arado: steping back is great
    Zen Arado: stepping
    Nymf Hathaway: as much as I am enjoying this great discussion... I need to go :( have a great new years everyone and till next year :)
    Zen Arado: thanks for coming Nymf
    Calvino Rabeni: Good to see you Nymf,happy new year
    Zen Arado: bye:)
    Nymf Hathaway: As always the pleasure is mine as well :)
    Qt Core: bye Nymf and happy new year!
    Zen Arado: happy new year
    Qt Core: i need to go to, bye all and a great year to you all
    Qt Core: too
    Zen Arado: yes maybe I should go too
    Calvino Rabeni: It is a little late in the session, but I want to leave a link to a poem on the topic of the session
    Calvino Rabeni: http://books.google.com/books?id=nLQ...age&q=&f=false
    Zen Arado: happy new year if I don't see you later
    Calvino Rabeni: For the log readers
    Zen Arado: thanks Cal
    Calvino Rabeni: Bye all, have the best year yet!
    Zen Arado: bye
    Calvino Rabeni: Bye :)
    Boots Mission: ty :)
    Boots Mission: Im looking at it now
    Calvino Rabeni: Glad you came by, Boots
    Calvino Rabeni: It's about the choice to go towards more life
    Boots Mission: everyone seemed to poof, was it me?
    Boots Mission: lolol
    Calvino Rabeni: rather than ideas or fear
    Calvino Rabeni: Not at all :)
    Calvino Rabeni: The session started at 1:00, many have already left
    Boots Mission: oh, lol
    Calvino Rabeni: there are 4 per day - 1 and 7 am and pm
    Boots Mission: I didnt have a scedule
    Calvino Rabeni: with different people, because it is global
    Boots Mission: we all come to SL for many reasons, disabilities, escape, for fun
    Boots Mission: in an attempt to be normal
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes, communication, connection with faraway people
    Calvino Rabeni: Normal I feel, is a comparison I hoped to let go
    Calvino Rabeni: A fiction
    Boots Mission: I just cannot define normal
    Boots Mission: lol
    Calvino Rabeni: No one can :)
    Boots Mission: I wander SL
    Boots Mission: as in life
    Boots Mission: both, and I have no idea what normal is
    Calvino Rabeni: a wanderer
    Calvino Rabeni: "all who wander are not lost" - or some such saying
    Calvino Rabeni: really, no one knows what normal is
    Calvino Rabeni: If they think they do, they are mistaken
    Calvino Rabeni: (in my very humble opinion)
    Calvino Rabeni: All the gifts of life have been distributed to the human family in very uneven ways
    Boots Mission: it is like this pool in front of me, I am watching it, the ripples change , slowly, this is how I see life
    Boots Mission: I am not sure what ripple I am on? make sense?
    Calvino Rabeni: I'm sitting with that
    Calvino Rabeni: everyone grounds themself in something
    Calvino Rabeni: I come from a family of wanderers
    Calvino Rabeni: that is what we do
    Boots Mission: same here
    Calvino Rabeni: we have a different kind of freedom
    Boots Mission: but I was left behind, as I reached age
    Boots Mission: I miss my mother
    --BELL--
    Boots Mission: she killed herself when I was 19
    Calvino Rabeni: that is very difficult.
    Calvino Rabeni: My parents lived, but they lived with suicides of their ancestors
    Calvino Rabeni: One can still feel the effect
    Boots Mission: yes
    Boots Mission: my grandpa killed himself
    Boots Mission: then my mother
    Calvino Rabeni: sorry
    Boots Mission: But they never left a reason why
    Boots Mission: but I know now
    Calvino Rabeni: that's good
    Boots Mission: it is massive depression that runs through the family
    Calvino Rabeni: ah, we may have had that - but there was social oppression as well
    Calvino Rabeni: mixed together, hard to sort out
    Boots Mission: is this place about social depression?
    Boots Mission: oppresion
    Boots Mission: lol
    Calvino Rabeni: no, people bring themselves here - and they speak of whatever they want, and seek to make it a workable dialogu
    Calvino Rabeni: it is not off limits
    Boots Mission: kewl
    Calvino Rabeni: It is not about therapy, or about digging up problems
    Boots Mission: ahhh
    Boots Mission: ok
    Calvino Rabeni: but it is about thinking better and more truthfully
    Calvino Rabeni: It is not about problem solveing
    Boots Mission: got it
    Calvino Rabeni: but is about having a bigger mind in which problems may seem easier
    Calvino Rabeni: if that makes sense
    Boots Mission: I dont even know why I came here, I have always been sensitive, Ive been coming to mieum for years, for some reason, I just walked over here
    Boots Mission: I never do that
    Calvino Rabeni: If you like the discussions here, it will have been fortuitous
    Calvino Rabeni: some great people here, of many varieties
    Boots Mission: Tell me what the discussions here are about
    Boots Mission: it may explain about why I was drawn here
    Calvino Rabeni: People bring their own interests, there is no "list" of topics, but the main idea is openness and awareness.
    Calvino Rabeni: I wasn't paying attention earlier when you first got here ....
    Calvino Rabeni: But the group host is supposed to inform you that the conversations are recorded here
    Boots Mission: I know that
    Calvino Rabeni: and then put on the home page. The idea is to get the assent of the visitors.
    Calvino Rabeni: OK you got that.
    Calvino Rabeni: And you can even see the history of everything that was discussed in the past, but that could be "too much information" :)
    Boots Mission: Ive been in SL since 2004, workingmy way through, dealing with personalites.
    Calvino Rabeni: People in this group have learned to dialogue in a constructive way
    Boots Mission: that have changed my whole life
    Calvino Rabeni: That is very long time in SL
    Calvino Rabeni: You probably have a lot of coping skills by now :)
    Calvino Rabeni: There have rarely been arguments and grief here.
    Boots Mission: yikes!
    Calvino Rabeni: Probably, people who are looking for that,don't think it would be interesting to stay around here
    --BELL--
    Boots Mission: they think I am a griefer?
    Calvino Rabeni: absolutely not,
    Calvino Rabeni: I'm glad you showed up, and liked your style
    Boots Mission: I didnt come here to make anyone mad, if I did , I am sorry, SL is a part of my life
    Boots Mission: To me, SL is real, not a game
    Calvino Rabeni: rest easy, everyone enjoyed you here :)
    Calvino Rabeni: And hope you come anytime you want
    Boots Mission: hehehe, I wont come of everyone poofs,. SL is not a game, it is real life, a venue we use. what we do here affects our real life
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes, there has been a feeling of that - taking things from SL to RL that were learned
    Calvino Rabeni: So you have some SL land next door then?
    Boots Mission: it changed my whole RL
    Boots Mission: yes
    Boots Mission: over there
    Calvino Rabeni: I've done a little building, wish I had time for more.
    Boots Mission: giggles
    Boots Mission: I have a server plot over there
    Boots Mission: on mieum
    Boots Mission: and I have several sims
    Calvino Rabeni: wow
    Boots Mission: private islands
    Calvino Rabeni: what happens there, who goes there, what is it for, (curious I am)
    Calvino Rabeni: Open like this one, or closed?
    Boots Mission: the sims are private, open to all that have age verfied
    Boots Mission: we have homes
    Calvino Rabeni: I see. I am not verified.
    Boots Mission: we have stores
    Boots Mission: really?
    Calvino Rabeni: You have a community, people that are there a lot then?
    Calvino Rabeni: Yes
    Boots Mission: it shows you are verified
    Calvino Rabeni: OK, I don't know about it, maybe it is automatic? Or I just forgot.
    Calvino Rabeni: I never went to a place that required it, thus I am not aware of it
    Boots Mission: at one point, you used a credit card or filled out the lame questionaire, you are verified
    Calvino Rabeni: Did they have this in 1007?
    Calvino Rabeni: I meant, 2007
    Calvino Rabeni: Ok, maybe automatic, when I bought lindens
    Boots Mission: yes!
    Boots Mission: giggles
    Boots Mission: you are allowed to visit ALL the sims in sl
    Boots Mission: others cant
    Calvino Rabeni: I looked at the Google Map of SL from slurl.com
    Calvino Rabeni: It makes things look huge
    Calvino Rabeni: Eventually I suppose open source will take over
    --BELL--
    Boots Mission: hmmm
    Boots Mission: dont let the full life overwhelm you
    Boots Mission: take SL one day at a time :)
    Calvino Rabeni: I don't explore on my own much. I mostly go where other SL people recommend.
    Boots Mission: ok, I am speaking as a mentor here, you are not required to answer anything,
    Calvino Rabeni: sure
    Boots Mission: there is many places to visit, thousands
    Boots Mission: are you gay or straight?
    Boots Mission: there are
    Calvino Rabeni: I am straight, mostly a scholar-monk type, but open minded
    Boots Mission: places that like dancersm singers
    Boots Mission: kewl :)
    Boots Mission: is this place your creation?
    Calvino Rabeni: No, most of it is created by "Storm Nordwind" who was very prolific with building and decorating
    Boots Mission: ok :)
    Calvino Rabeni: I have a home plot here as do many of the group members
    Boots Mission: dude
    Calvino Rabeni: there is something for everyone in SL, as far as I can see
    Calvino Rabeni: Have you explored this sim much?
    Boots Mission: I need to leave, as I part, more than two thirds of the women in SL are men,
    Boots Mission: I know all of SL
    Calvino Rabeni: oh that much, interesting
    Calvino Rabeni: I have a fem avatar but don't use it
    Boots Mission: lol
    Boots Mission: are you gay dude?
    Calvino Rabeni: gay? no
    Calvino Rabeni: I don't do sex stuff in SL
    Calvino Rabeni: no objection, mind you
    Boots Mission: giggles
    Boots Mission: I gave up sex years ago,
    Boots Mission: in sl
    Boots Mission: too many peeps lie
    Boots Mission: or hide the truth
    Calvino Rabeni: IF the tech were better I'd want to do more physical things here
    Calvino Rabeni: But I feel there's no point ... yet
    Boots Mission: giggles
    Boots Mission: there is no reason to have sex in sl
    Boots Mission: if you love someone
    Boots Mission: it works
    Boots Mission: so many peeps at sex stores, shops, dungeons
    Calvino Rabeni: I don't get it
    Boots Mission: have sex to just have sex
    Boots Mission: silly
    Calvino Rabeni: What RL time zone do you live in?
    Boots Mission: central
    Calvino Rabeni: central US
    Boots Mission: it is 5:28 my time in the morning
    Calvino Rabeni: I have a habit of being awake at night, but I will switchit in the spring time
    --BELL--
    Calvino Rabeni: Would you give me a landmark for somewhere you built in SL?
    Boots Mission: why?
    Boots Mission: are you intgerested in me>
    Boots Mission: lolol
    Boots Mission: I made the biggest group in SL for gay men
    Calvino Rabeni: Not flirting
    Calvino Rabeni: But I like creative people
    Calvino Rabeni: OK, pavillion, I'm leaving now

Calvino's note - Truly one of the old SL souls (2004 or so), Boots has a lovely - and quite impressive - spread not far from here.