2011.08.29 _ -3

Sat with lots going on around me last night, with eyes open, combining breaths practice again, could have stayed a bit and wanted to, but didn't. Fell asleep and dreamed of being at the small car accident scene of month+ ago, and that a police officer was asking me about how I was meditating, where my mind was. I said "well the idea is mind resting nowhere" but he wasn't happy with that answer, brought me back to what I was feeling instead of what the idea was.

Managed to find time late in the morning. I'm always amazed about the amount of resistance to doing something like this, the amount of "not-now's" around.
Set the alarm for 10 mins, then did 3 prostrations, then standing meditation until the alarm went off, then one more prostration to finish. My body is slowly getting the hang of this again, even though I was trembling a bit.

Great dream, Eliza!

Late again, but at least calm. I found it easier to tune out the distractions from outside, not sure why.

Head down for sleep.. remember to be in body.. OK then, breathing in Giveup-ness, breathing, out may all beings be happy and have the seeds of happiness, breathing in Giveup-ness, breathing out, may all beings be free of suffering and the seeds of suffering, breathing in Giveup-ness, breathing out giveup-ness ... combine with body awareness... and sense of nothing further needed. What a chorus in the morning.. whole orchestra of bodily sensations.. can't remember first thought but remember letting go into simply rest with it kind of place.. Planned another body aware walk from here to there.. got there, and realised, "how did I get here?" (and yes, Talking Heads were there too). later while walking again, accidentally dropped into my body.. "oh! this is convenient! went with it, my body that is. Into and aware of, perimeter. Perennial border (Echinacias stood out) pulling on one side. Compacted weedy verge pushing on the other. Amazed at how much wishful thinking goes into every few paces of existence. Dog! is hurtling itself against the fence next to me every few strides. 'Me' becomes tingley and shimmery mist, rebounding away from some outline of me with each subsequent barrage.. but.. i stay, riding awareness in body.. somewhat proudly.. all the length of the dog fence, and beyond to textures and gravity feels, and air sweeping. More.. but a bit too wiped out to be of service. Breathing in.. giveup-ness.. Breathing out.. appreciate you all! edited 04:30, 30 Aug 2011

Pre-sleep
night trains
clearings