2011.10.12 _ 41

::: When it's beyond words
::: Silence is a healing cave
::: _/!\_

Meditated between shower and breakfast. Standing meditation.

At Tai Chi yesterday, I noticed that relaxing does not make you more tired, and being stressed does not make you more alert. So today I focused on letting both stress and tiredness flow away - tiredness flows away on the inbreath, stress flows away on the outbreath - and see that it's possible to be both relaxed and alert, even if you think you are having a bad day.

There is definitely a weekly pattern to my moods, with Mondays and Tuesdays being darkest, and my mood lightening up from Wednesday on.

what eden said :-)
had not quite emphasized that healing cave quality
it's all right, a good spot

_/|\_

Will miss your reports, Wester, while you are away soon... so appreciate of your practical and personal noticings.

While sitting and while shopping today, saw that it is easy to shop for projections... for the self I expect to be 'any second.' This can generate a sort of figuring-out mode where I start planning around this new 'me' project. There felt to be space in this today for reconciliation... for going into that new and improved self of myself and helping her/me to trust/let go. Funny sort of picture in my mind of these shells we produce and move into like hermit crabs. edited 01:00, 13 Oct 2011

Busy night tonight, resulting in "sloppy" meditations, balance off, spacial positioning resulted in collisions with furniture, generally inadequate prep for Tai Chi,... and the rain sounds had such potential for enrobing the moment in sound

Recliner sit:
Interrupted by 26-year-old thoroughly tattooed homeless unemployed dude who's been sleeping in my camper for three nights. The whole day a mix of "paternal-ish" talks in the living room, gathering scrap metal, taking scrap metal for pay (and recycling), PaB meetings . . . And now it's late and I'm soooo sleepy. (Tomorrow!!)

(No wonder I am [was?] a hermit.)

So nice to read yesterday's hello and goodbye to the Sun God, by Eliza and Eden. Today I stood in line for more than an hour to get my driver's licence renewed at the DMV in Manhattan, and I remembered Aphrodite's walking meditation. It was a veeerrrryyyy slow walking meditation, one step a minute, a real challenge to continue to focus on the looooong pauses. :-)

Thank you eden.
I'm heading there now.
Under a cave of covers,
Hoping cares unravell there. edited 03:54, 13 Oct 2011

driving home
bird atop crescent moon
the mosque view

I am going to my cave...having sung my voice on beyond its limit:)