2011.09.17 _ 16

It is 10 pm, and yet I'm the first one to write a comment today -- that's what I get for visiting Japan; it's 6 am in California's SLT right now. Today felt inspired by Bruce's report yesterday, about surrendering to the other. I played with that for a while, and then also tried to surrender to my sense of self, trying no longer to resist its narrowing tendencies, but rather accepting them as the way it wants to play, like a small child. And finally I explored ways to surrender both self and other and any separation or judged distinction between the two. It felt like spotting a screen between self and other and then letting go of that screen. That letting go didn't feel perfect or complete, but it definitely felt like a move in a good direction, and it was very relaxing.

Bare minimum practice: 9 seconds before sleep, 9 seconds on wake from sleep. Extra credit: 9 seconds, or any time-full/time-less pause, at any transition that happens to jog the pause. Extra curious: I am not alone.

::: On way back to town
::: Laurentian shield visible
::: Hills like seated beasts

The first opportunity to meditate was after dinner today. I felt very irritable the whole day - not because of the late meditation, but because the days are getting darker again. After the practice I did feel slightly calmer, though.

When I did find 10 minutes to meditate, the prostrations felt so freeing that I decided to do a full ten minutes of prostrations. At first I counted them, much in the same way you might count your breaths, but after a while I found it distracting, and it also encouraged a waiting mentality - I've done 10,20,30 prostrations now, am I nearly finished? So I stopped counting and immersed myself in the physical process of the prostrations. I usually do kneeling half-prostrations - occasionally full ones too, but I like these small ones. I tried to keep my toes on the ground, and while that felt good energetically, it was very hard on the muscles, so I didn't manage to do it all of the time. After a while I found that my body automatically sat up very straight in between the prostrations.

And isn't it amazing that Bruce and Pema are working with surrendering too? I like the synergy of this little group.

Son came to lay down with me before bed last night, and told me silly stories. I can't say that this is the *reason* for my not meditating before bed, but laughing with him is what I did instead. :) edited 22:19, 17 Sep 2011

I'm going to count the 90-second pauses during my session this morning, while explaining PaB to a new visitor, as my meditation for the day.

Recliner sit: The primordial split is “I” and “Other.” Here is the source of all marginalization, polarity, antagonism, anguish, and strife. Separation is the primary delusion. The remedy (“refuge”) is the awake clarity of Mind. In a PaB session today we spoke of “kindness” (Thank you, Aph!) If one is mindfully kind, the entire universe changes - for the better.

Something comforting about doing the same thing each day and every day something arises, it's not just a new "habit" but an exploration of something new each day.

I discovered the transformative nature of smiling gently; a little buddha smile as I sat meditating after yoga lightened up my whole being. My body smiled; things were at peace. I tried (but failed) to keep that feeling for the rest of the day.