2011.11.20 _ 80

This morning, for a change, I did some reading before sitting for half an hour. Interesting to compare sitting directly when out of bed with sitting after reading an old text. Both inspiring, but in rather different ways -- like walking by yourself versus walking along with a friend.
I so recognized Wester's remark: "I noticed that I was depriving myself of the last minute of the meditation. Something that would have annoyed me if something/somebody else had done it, but as I was doing it myself, passed almost unnoticed." It also connected nicely with Eden's starlings poem: any murmuring can be judged as a blessing or a curse, or just be taken as is without judgment edited 17:36, 20 Nov 2011

Meditated just before going to bed. Prostrations. It's nice to alternate these forms once in a while. They are both forms of surrender to what is, but the prostrations focuses more on surrender, whereas the standing meditation focuses more on what is. The prostrations also have less room for distractions than the standing meditation, simply because you're busier.

Sat with Eliza, oO0Oo and Aggers at the Playgoda after a particularly hard session, coming slowly back to an emotional even keel.

This was an incredibly full and inspiring day in and out of SL. In fact most of the day I felt there to be a dance, a conversation between the two overlapping, as well as the last few night's dreams and conversations. Boundaries aren't what I often think them to be and sometimes that is just more hm, apparent. Appreciated the sitting earlier, and the many kind sentiments expressed. Amazing to see the contradictions in play, with Being able to absorb or accomodate them all.

Hard to sit with today's multiple diverse meetings, engagements, unrelated activities and anxieties both present and anticipatory. In the gaps between them a larger space presents, much bigger than them and the many me's relative to them. But in that space they and me drop, expire even - not without some sense of pain. At the same time what's necessary and important gains precision and focus. Freedom on the choiceless dot.

::: Basking in the warmth
::: The blue waters of Cuba
::: Dad came back smiling

this day was the third day of my first lojong instructions i got for the now having begun buddhist practice , for one year at least. it was inspiring and very full so to say. very much information, a lot of texts, much to do, to learn, to contemplate, meditate, to think about -

the sangha is a great help. what i fear now, is to do that alone at home in my everyday life.

especially with continuity i have biig problems - so we´ll see ...

Read the log for bengali teaboy experience
palms dampened
stomach tightened
wished I had been there to help defend Pabbers honour.
Then realized, uncomfortably, that the Seeker might be a little bit of me.
Caught, at times, in a blind rant.
Breathed deeply and sat with that. edited 07:48, 21 Nov 2011

The 20th...came with a considerably more contained feeling.
And yet...
The doors opened onto many lovely worlds

Tried to visualize Tai Chi while in bed, always miss something and fell right to bed