2011.09.08 _ 7

Last night's sitting dreamlike, with the greens and textures of the memories of the day forming soft settings where conversations may have taken place, but not occurring...just the noticing and appreciating of the time with a kind of dedication.

::: Ravens in a field
::: Rain, rocks, moss, fragrant forest
::: Graced by doe and fawns

Fresh morning, fresh colours, fresh possibilities.
A new page to paint on.
Wondering whether to leave it blank and simply enjoy its whiteness and tiny textures. edited 15:12, 8 Sep 2011

I followed Wol's idea, and went back to Sunshine House as well, the place where we stayed during the PaB RL retreat in July. From there I went on a walk through the woods, and started aimless wandering again. The wandering led to dream like states, in between waking and dreaming, until I returned to Sunshine House again, where I lingered for a while, savoring the sense of peace and integrity there.

Another eyes-open recliner sit: I cannot experience objects in a somatic, participatory way and think about them at the same time. Those thoughts are inevitably representational (names, glosses, selective abstractions). Releasing concepts - especially those ponderous memory domains unique to each object - allows fresh perception, takes edges off boundaries, and opens pathways into a broader (universal?) ecology. Letting my body be intermediary, I find far more than I seek. edited 17:35, 8 Sep 2011

Did the meditation in the morning. Uneventful.

Sometimes it's just about the breath

Glad to find this computer to post// Paying attention to the daily episodes of going to sleep and awakening shows remarkable patterns within which I "wave". For thousands of consecutive days, I have experienced the qualities of, waning energy, dullness, laziness unfocused wandering, at the end of a day, and the freshness, relatively rejuvenated energy, more able, alert and willing, upon rising. Easy to forget it always has been something close to this pattern, every day of my life. // Emotions, their own forms of weather too. They pass through innumerable times, yet seem, in some moments, all encompassing, without beginning or end in sight. // Today, decided to let body notice emotions. A person recounted some difficult times in their life to me at one point. They appeared thoroughly caught up in the stories.. reliving them vividly, yelling with anger and intensity. Conceptually I noticed I was wanting to correct a sense of feeling made a projected target set of characters in the drama, but I decided to try relaxing deeply into my body, letting it be grounded, somewhat denser, with a lower center of gravity and wider base, and tried breathing with any feelings ~ noticing their presence and passing. edited 04:11, 9 Sep 2011

A day of busy mental busyness; discussions about about freedom and its possibility without constraints; discussions about plunging our mental depths and wondering what that means, discussions about Kant's categorical imperative and the way our mind orders and shapes what we know of our world. I'm having a hard time getting into my body and out of my mind. More drawing is in order. Perhaps the cats edited 04:31, 9 Sep 2011

Standing on the trail, at the first curve. Around on the left the sunset beams light streaking through the trees. iPhone out, click the Droplet app - a moment shared, here I am, with you and without you.

So lovely to read these reports. Smiling. Yesterday... a 'light streaking through trees' moment as well... wondered at the haze which, with the light, 'showed up' so fluttering and falling particles. mmm